Martin Westwell

The difference between boys and girls

well, one of the differences

As the war continues against "lad culture" which, according to David Blunkett, is responsible for boys' consistently poor exam results it may be worth considering some of the real differences between boys and girls, some of which persist throughout life.

It is clear that there are real differences in the way that boys

and girls think and so it comes as no surprise that the ways in

which they learn are different. For example, put a group of 7 year

old boys together with a pile of Lego blocks and they will generally

try and build the biggest tower, each taking pride in adding the

latest block to construction. Girls of the same age will generally

build something more meaningful like a house and will discuss and

evaluate the project as it emerges, perhaps removing a piece here

and there to improve the design and facilitate the addition of blocks

elsewhere (removing someone's block from the boys tower would be

likely to cause significant irritation!)

In education, the single-minded, goal oriented approach of the

boys would benefit from short lessons with well defined individual

goals whereas the girls may gain more from an ongoing thread running

through a number of lessons with plenty of discussion and coursework.

It is often thought that boys thrive in a more competitive environment

but this is probably mixing up a goal oriented approach with competition.

There is evidence to suggest that boys who struggle would rather

not compete than compete and lose.

Single sex classes in certain subjects may be able to utilize these

differences to get the most out of both boys and girls, but different

teaching techniques must be employed - there is probably little

to gain (and much to lose) from just segregating the sexes. Blaming

the boys themselves for their "lad culture" is clearly

not helpful to anyone (except perhaps lazy journalists) but getting

to the bottom of the boys' discontent with school could go a long

way.

As adults, men are often notoriously poor in situations where discrete

goals are not identified. In my house this means housework! Give

me a single well defined job to do like tidying the living room

or emptying the bins and I am happy to do so. However, if I'm expected

to notice that a room needs hoovering or the linen basket is full

- no chance! - I just never think about it. The way we deal with

this at home is that I have discrete, regular (goal oriented) household

chores to do and my wife deals with the general overview of housework.

The difference in the ways of thinking between man and women is

not restricted to the young (with who I like to associate myself).

When the elderly carers of Alzheimer's patients are asked what they

would like in terms of respite care, there is a marked difference

in the responses between the sexes. Male carers generally say that

they are happy to go on caring as long as is necessary but find

it hard to cope doing everything at once. The men ask for help with

the housework, clothes cleaning, feeding, bathing, etc. so as to

leave fewer tasks for them to perform simultaneously. Female carers

do not have any problems multitasking and so ask for completely

different respite care. They will do everything at home but they

ask that from time-to-time they are given a complete break for a

day or two. Consider with this that 50% of those who care for Alzheimer's

patients are over 70 years old themselves and 5% or over 90, shouldn't

society and the state give them as much of the right kind of help

as possible?

In an age when sexual equality means something practical rather

than just idealogical, I think these examples show that sometimes

it is important to understand the differences between the sexes

and respond accordingly rather than to blame the differences (like

the "lad culture") for any problems that may arise.

- November 2004