Naked Science Forum
Non Life Sciences => Geek Speak => Topic started by: Make it Lady on 24/03/2008 19:06:08
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Out of every 10 people only one understands binary and the other doesn't.
Think about it, think about it!
Anyone got any computer corkers. I like geek jokes, normal people just don't get them and that makes me laugh more.
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Haha.
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It's funny, but maybe its just a typo?
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HaHa, did you really understand the joke? Think binary numbers and read again.
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So only 110010% understand it?
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I'm glad your with me Doc.
I wonder if JimBob will get it?
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I'm glad your with me Doc.
I wonder if JimBob will get it?
At his age he'd have to take a tablet!
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Moses had the same problem.
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Indeed *nods sagely*
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Yeahh I got it then :P
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Yeahh I got it then :P
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F2.gif&hash=f3ac90d0f104dd89dbe260c598e013a8)
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I'd like to thank two normally vociferous factions for refraining from saying
"microsoft" or "mac" etc. as a reply to the phrase "computer related jokes".
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I'd like to thank two normally vociferous factions for refraining from saying
"microsoft" or "mac" etc. as a reply to the phrase "computer related jokes".
There's nothing wrong with Macs, and Microsoft is beyond being a joke.
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some signs your co-worker is a hacker
he gives out his phone number in hex
he gets HBO on his computer
you ticked him off once and your telephone bill was $300,000
every time the office LAN goes off he smiles
all of his office notes are in binary or in leet
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some signs your co-worker is a hacker
he gives out his phone number in hex
he gets HBO on his computer
you ticked him off once and your telephone bill was $300,000
every time the office LAN goes off he smiles
all of his office notes are in binary or in leet
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F2.gif&hash=f3ac90d0f104dd89dbe260c598e013a8)
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lol
01101001011001100010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000110110000101101110001000000111001001100101011000010110010000100000011101000110100001101 001011100110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110010000001101100011010010110011001100101
does anybody care to translate
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lol
01101001011001100010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000110110000101101110001000000111001001100101011000010110010000100000011101000110100001101 001011100110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110010000001101100011010010110011001100101
does anybody care to translate
What size bytes?
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nope thats not it
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erm... I need to know what size bytes to split it into.
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8 i think
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Ha.
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do you have it ryan
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Nopes.
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ok
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lol
01101001011001100010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000110110000101101110001000000111001001100101011000010110010000100000011101000110100001101 001011100110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110010000001101100011010010110011001100101
does anybody care to translate
To be honest, I really can't be bothered.
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it means: if you can read this you have no life
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darn i shoulda figured you'd say something like that
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umm... I got 38 characters total (I dont know binary, so I cant go farther than that) and two of them are cut off, so I cant even get those if I did know binary
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oh... wait... I replied too late... why didn't I notice that?
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" need to know what size bytes to split it into."
Byte is a contraction of "by eights" or at least that's what I was told. 4 bits is a nybble.
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oh i just used a text to binary converter
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oh i just used a text to binary converter
How did you find one of those?
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" need to know what size bytes to split it into."
Byte is a contraction of "by eights" or at least that's what I was told. 4 bits is a nybble.
Bytes, Nybbles stop it I'm on a diet!
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I have a nasty feeling that the combination of information theory, the thermodynamics of entropy and a reasonable assumption about your temperature would permit one to calculate the number of Calories in a byte.
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Oh I love it when a man speaks physical chemistry to me.
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oh i just used a text to binary converter
How did you find one of those?
http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp (http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp)
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oh i just used a text to binary converter
How did you find one of those?
http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp (http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp)
01111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001110100011011110110111100100000011011010111010101100011011010000010000001100110011100100110010101100101001000000111010001101001011011010110010100101110
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I think I have created a monster (no that isn't what it says, it is what I've done)
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I think I have created a monster (no that isn't what it says, it is what I've done)
Nah, Nic was a monster long before this.
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01110111011001010010000001110011011010000110111101110101011011000110010000100000011001000110111100100000011000010010000001110100011010000111001001100 10101100001011001000010000001100011011011110110110101110000011011000110010101110100011001010110110001111001001000000110100101101110001000000110001001 10100101101110011000010111001001111001
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"Oh I love it when a man speaks physical chemistry to me."
Alas, it seems the chemistry is more theoretical than physical. :-)
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" need to know what size bytes to split it into."
Byte is a contraction of "by eights" or at least that's what I was told. 4 bits is a nybble.
Bytes are normally eight bits (most standards prefer to use the word 'octet' in preference to the term byte), but I think the confusion here is the use of the term byte where I think what was intended was 'character' - and a character can be anything from about 5 bits (old Teletype coding), 6 bits used by ICL machines, 7 bit standard ASCII (although usually encoded in octets, with the eighth bit being a parity or zero), or up to 32 bit unicode (or even variable length with UTF8 encoding).
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01101110011000010110000101100001011000010110000101100001011000010110100000101110
011101110110010100100000011100110110100001101111011101010110110001100100001000000110010001101111001000000110000100100000011101000110100001110010011001010110000101100100001000000110001101101111011011010111000001101100011001010111010001100101011011000111100100100000011010010110111000100000011000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001
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1110100010101101010111000101011010100101010101001010101001010101101010101010100111101010001010010110100101001?
[:D]
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1110100010101101010111000101011010100101010101001010101001010101101010101010100111101010001010010110100101001?
[:D]
Translator won't work, what does that say?
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A systems programmer, a computer operator and a hardware engineer all apply for the same job vacancy and as part of the recruitment process they're given a test. Each is given two perfect spheres, both about ten inches across, and they are then put in to a sealed room and told that they have an hour to come up with something using the the two spheres.
After an hour, the testers first look in on the systems programmer and see that he has one of the spheres precariously balanced upon the other. The programmer is constantly flapping his hands around the upper sphere, wafting it back into wobbly balance.
In the next room the testers look in on the computer operator. He's fast asleep, with his feet up on one sphere and his head resting on the other.
When they finally look in the third room there is just the hardware engineer - no sign at all of the two spheres. "Well.." said the engineer "...sorry, but I lost one and broke the other"
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01001110011011110111011100100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001101001011100110010000001110000011001010111001001100110011001010110001101110 10000100000011001100110111101110010001000000110000100100000011101000110100001110010011001010110000101100100001000000110100101101110001000000110000100 10000001100110011011110111001001110101011011010010000001110100011010010111010001101100011001010110010000100000010001110110010101100101011010110010000 00101001101110000011001010110000101101011
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0111100101100101011000010110100000100000011010010010000001101011011011100110111101110111
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Nice 1, LeeE [:D]
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01001110011011110111011100100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001101001011100110010000001110000011001010111001001100110011001010110001101110100001000000110011001101111011100100010000001100001001000000111010001101000011100100110010101100001011001000010000001101001011011100010000001100001001000000110011001101111011100100111010101101101001000000111010001101001011101000110110001100101011001000010000001000111011001010110010101101011001000000101001101110000011001010110000101101011
01001001011011100110010001100101011001010110010000100000011010010111010000100000011010010111001100101110
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Many years ago, 'Computing', an IT trade newspaper in the UK ran a competition on it's 'back_bytes' page for IT haikus and gave the following as examples to get people started.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Endless others exist.
:)
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Look guys, I opened this strand as computer jokes. I think you should start a binary talk strand as I would really like to hear some good jokes. Nice to know I've started something for you lot but lets stick to the topic. I like the haiku though, think we should have a whole strand on them too.
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Look guys, I opened this strand as computer jokes. I think you should start a binary talk strand as I would really like to hear some good jokes. Nice to know I've started something for you lot but lets stick to the topic. I like the haiku though, think we should have a whole strand on them too.
Haiku is only two lines.
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no, a haiku has three lines, where the first and the last have the same number of syllables. the most common being 5-7-5
here's an example.
haiku's are easy
but sometimes they don't make any sense
refrigerator
[;D]
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Correction needed?
Depends on definition.
I forsee conflict.
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This "haiku" makes no sense
And very rarely has meaning
Who invented it
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42
'tis the maning of life...
soooo... if my computer crashes... will typing in 101010 revive it?
hold on a minute... what was hitchhikers guide thinking? september 10 2010? hmm...
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spooky!
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Here are some funny virus jokes:
Federal Bureaucrat Virus -- Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of
which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
Dan Quayle Virus -- Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe
just can't figyour out watt.
Gallup Virus -- Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 38% of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 margin of
error)
Paul Revere Virus -- revolutionary virus doesn't horse around. It warns
you of impending hard disk attack 0 once if by LAN, twice if by C:
Politically Correct Virus -- never calls itself a "virus", but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."
Right to life Virus -- Won't allow you to delete a file regardless of how
old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you first
see a counselor about possible alternatives.
Ross Perot Virus -- Activates every component in your system just before
the whole thing quits.
Mario Cuomo Virus -- It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
Oprah Winfry Virus -- Your 200 megabyte hard drive suddenly shrinks to
80 Meg, then slowly expands back to 200 meg.
AT&T Virus -- Every three minutes it tells you what great service your
getting.
MCI Virus -- Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying too
much for the AT&T Virus.
Ted Turner Virus -- Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Arnold Schwarzennegger Virus -- Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
Government Economist Virus -- Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
New World Order Virus -- Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.
Terry Randle Virus -- Yells "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose
"Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.
Texas Virus -- Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve Virus -- Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Michael Jackson Virus -- Hard to identifiy because it is constantly
altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it
will trash your car.
Congressional Virus -- The computer locks up, screen splits eratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for
the problem.
Airline Virus -- You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus -- Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
motherboard.
PBS Virus -- Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Elvis Virus -- Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy and then self
destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service
stations across rural America.
Ollie North Virus -- Turns your printer into a document shredder.
Nike Virus -- Just Does It!
Sears Virus -- Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables,
power supply, and a set of shocks.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus -- Nobody can find it.
Congressional Virus -- Runs every program on the hard drive
simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish
anything.
Kevorkian Virus -- Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
Imelda Marcos Virus -- Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up
then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all
on expensive shoes it purchases throught Prodigy.
Star Trek Virus --Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before.
Health Care Virus -- Test you system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
sends you a bill for $4,500.
George Bush Virus -- It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test.... no
new files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space
on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress
Virus.
Cleveland Indians Virus -- Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.
LAPD Virus -- It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and erases them in "self-defense."
Chicago Cubs Virus -- Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last
in the reviews, but you still love it.
Sean Welch Virus -- Brags and brags about how good it is and yet even if
you say you hate it, you really don't.
Wanabe Virus -- Wants to be like Mike.
Michelangelo Virus -- Paints a picture of the Mona Lisa on the screen then
says, "Voiala".
http://www.computerjokes.net/ also has loads of funny jokes!
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what does PCMCIA stand for
People Cant Memorize Computer Industy Acronims
A customer told me of a ploblem he had with his computer after about an hour of trying to help I told him it was Undoubedley a PLBSAK problem and asked him to fetch the unit in as I could remidy the situation the other employees looked at me and wondered if I had found some new virus or spyware problem to which I responded no It just the Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard problem !
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A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1 No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
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Very good, I have e-mailed it to all my friends. Now they think I'm funnier than I really am. Wo,ha,ha,haaaa