Naked Science Forum
On the Lighter Side => New Theories => Topic started by: mauser on 21/09/2011 14:08:04
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I have been suffering from self doubt/self loathing for many years (20) it may be body dismorphic disorder or similar, I have definitely been suffering from OCD symptoms from a young age which stemmed from believing I was the cause of something that was happening in my life, or at least, I could prevent it by carrying out the OCD tasks such as touching objects/my arms/legs, coughing or washing repeatedly which later spread to more insidious psychological symptoms once I 'logiced away' the physical manifestations, such as being unable to read books due to re reading lines/pages, using mouse pointer to touch sides of screen/make repetitive patterns etc.
I have however become aware that I can manipulate my body processes, & I do so, with malicious intention, as a form of self harming. I don't know how this is occurring, but it may be that I am causing the release of chemicals, or hormones, to an abnormally high extent, or, manipulating blood supply to the extent that it feels like it is damaging joints, particularly knees or ankles. I can notably feel something happening in my blood vessels, like a warmish type feeling, if I focus on certain joints, mainly knees or ankles I can make these feel a specific pinching/numbish type pain, as if they are being damaged. I have previously had a damage to one knee which was osteochondritis dissecans i.e. caused by a lack of blood to part of the bone, which is exactly what I feel like I am able to cause consciously. I feel I am now focusing on my other knee which hasn't yet been damaged, obviously this is very negative for me & would appreciate some advice on how I can stop myself doing this & whether there has ever been discussion/research about whether you can harm the body/manipulate body processes with your mind as a form of self harm, thanks.
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I have definitely been suffering from OCD symptoms from a young age ... I have previously had a damage to one knee which was osteochondritis dissecans i.e. caused by a lack of blood to part of the bone, which is exactly what I feel like I am able to cause consciously.
Not possible for mind to cause ischemic disease,
Is possible mind (and body) can be affected by ischemic disease.
i.e. it is conceivable that your joint disease (osteochondritis dissecans) and psychiatric symptoms (obsessive-compulsive disorder) are both manifestations of systemic (micro)vascular disease ...
Proposed risk factors [for avascular necrosis, e.g. osteochondritis dissecans] include ... vasculitis, arterial embolism and thrombosis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avascular_necrosis
Cerebral vasculitis and obsessive-compulsive disorder following varicella infection in childhood
http://www.turkishjournalpediatrics.org/?fullTextId=607
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Not possible for mind to cause ischemic disease,
Is possible mind (and body) can be affected by ischemic disease.
i.e. it is conceivable that your joint disease (osteochondritis dissecans) and psychiatric symptoms (obsessive-compulsive disorder) are both manifestations of systemic (micro)vascular disease ...
Proposed risk factors [for avascular necrosis, e.g. osteochondritis dissecans] include ... vasculitis, arterial embolism and thrombosis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avascular_necrosis
Cerebral vasculitis and obsessive-compulsive disorder following varicella infection in childhood
http://www.turkishjournalpediatrics.org/?fullTextId=607
Thanks for your suggestions, I did have chicken pox (varicella), but most children do. I don't think I had OCD symptoms from when I had this so I don't think it is likely to be connected (OCD symptoms were triggered by parental separation). I know it does sound extreme that you could alter your body processes to do harm, but I am not sure it is really so unlikely, it is just similar to cutting but internal rather than external. I do have coordination problems sometimes, a feeling I am not in full control of my motor ability, will often collide with objects because I have difficulty judging distance/placing objects in my mind.
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Thanks for your suggestions, I did have chicken pox (varicella), but most children do. I don't think I had OCD symptoms from when I had this so I don't think it is likely to be connected
Microvascular disease can be caused by immune response to any infection, not specific to chicken-pox, and there are other mechanisms, e.g. autoimmunity, hypercoagulability (http://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/hematology_and_oncology/thrombotic_disorders/thrombotic_disorders.html).
I do have coordination problems sometimes, a feeling I am not in full control of my motor ability, will often collide with objects because I have difficulty judging distance/placing objects ...
The actual cause of dysmetria is thought to be caused by lesions in the cerebellum or by lesions in the proprioceptive nerves that lead to the cerebellum that coordinate visual, spatial and other sensory information with motor control . Damage to the proprioceptive nerves does not allow the cerebellum to accurately judge where the hand, arm, leg, or eye should move. These lesions are often caused by strokes, Multiple Sclerosis (MS), Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), or tumors .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysmetria#Causes
Microvascular disease in the brain is in principle like "ischemic stroke" but on a much smaller scale.
An ischemic stroke can occur if inflammation of blood vessels (vasculitis) or infection (such as herpes simplex) narrows blood vessels that supply the brain
http://www.merckmanuals.com/home/brain_spinal_cord_and_nerve_disorders/stroke_cva/ischemic_stroke.html
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Small update on this, I have realised this mainly happens when I am laying back in bed, basically the mind starts to wander, and then has a kind of brain hiccup, the thought says "gonna cause pain now", and, like lightning, it happens, it is almost as if it is another malevolent force doing it, although I am aware it is clearly myself, just like a different part of the brain. I can also do it on command however, and can cause a headache & stomach ache as well as joint pain.
Interesting to compare to ability to cause goosebumps at will
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=428.msg368978#msg368978
Trying to analyse this further I think it may be adrenalin that I am able to release at will & increase to v. high levels as after trying to cause stomach pain, I am getting typical butterflies/feeling in stomach/bowels, feeling may need to defacate, sweating, increased heart rate.
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... a kind of brain hiccup, the thought says "gonna cause pain now", and, like lightning, it happens
Still could be organic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organic_disease): the above could be a description of a seizure (as a result of cerebrovascular disease).
... cause a headache & stomach ache as well as joint pain ... butterflies/feeling in stomach/bowels, feeling may need to defacate, sweating, increased heart rate.
Seizures make can make people feel like they want to vomit/urinate/defecate (and can cause increased sweating, increased heart-rate and even piloerection (goosebumps) ). Seizures do not necessarily cause the person to lose consciousness ...
simple partial seizures (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simple_partial_seizures) with autonomic manifestations have an ictal focus involving autonomic nervous system (ANS) centers without impairing awareness … Autonomic symptoms accompany all GTC seizures and one third of simple partial seizures.
http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1186872-overview#aw2aab6b3
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Find a doctor you trust and get yourself a medical examination. Then listen to him, if you don't like what he says you can always get a second opinion from another doctor. Our minds can play a lot of tricks on us all, so it might be that. But before thinking so, you really should get yourself a medical examination to ensure that it's not a medical condition making you associate to a psychological.
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Saw this linked from another thread. While I imagine OP is long gone by now (from this forum I mean..), I can also do this. Specifically, while experimenting with moving an as of yet unidentifiable sensation through my body, I decided to take a stab at inflicting pain on myself (through concentration only). I did it while lying down in bed, remaining completely motionless, fully relaxed, not tensing any muscles. I did it in my left leg, a bit above the ankle. I chose the left leg specifically because I rarely do anything on that half of my body, as everything seems to come easier on the right. The goal in this case was to take the sensation I felt, and try to...overload it into a single spot. Focus so strongly into an area of my leg that it would hurt from the excess.
The result of the attempt was a pretty strong, warm, radiating pain that lasted a few seconds after I stopped deliberately causing it. It came on pretty suddenly, and isn't anything I typically feel while lying down doing nothing. I was not asleep or drifting at the time.
All that being said, I'm not one for self inflicting harm, so I didn't repeat this process. I have no desire to suffer internal injuries from this practice. The attempt itself was just an experiment while trying to determine whether or not the sensation I felt I could move through my body was real or not. I figured if I could successfully use the sensation to cause myself pain via overload, it would be real enough in my book.
So just thought I'd chime in to say that at least one person has done what you seemed to have been describing.