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General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: Hadrian on 11/03/2009 15:23:00

Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 11/03/2009 15:23:00
MUNICH, Germany - The city has been abuzz about a neighboring
town's pig incident. It seems that two animal rights
protesters broke into a slaughterhouse to free thousands of
pigs before they met their fate. Armed with bolt cutters,
they managed to clear the way for the soon to be liberated
pigs. As the doors opened, a stampede of pork rushed through
the opening, trampling the crusading protesters and crushing
them to their doom.

oink oink
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2009 15:29:11
Is someone telling porky pies here?
Title: pig incident
Post by: dentstudent on 11/03/2009 15:32:02
One of their rasher decisions, I would think.
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 11/03/2009 15:42:57
they made a right pigs ear of it
Title: pig incident
Post by: LeeE on 11/03/2009 16:27:54
They were a bit ham-fisted.
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2009 16:42:31
But they are bacon the right track now.
Title: pig incident
Post by: LeeE on 11/03/2009 17:36:41
It was sad that they got trampled to death, but I guess it was God swill.
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 11/03/2009 17:58:31
one in sty i would say
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 11/03/2009 22:30:26
What a boar-ing thread!!
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 11/03/2009 23:24:18
LOL
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 11/03/2009 23:55:09
Sow what?

Here's a little pome [sic] what I wrote.

3 little piggies went for a drive,
Out in the country on the A45,
Look out! Too fast! Put the brake on!
Oops, too late. Now they're bacon
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 12/03/2009 02:06:42
If Spike Milligan's estate suis (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/sus#Latin) you for breach of copyright don't say I didn't warn you ...  [:)]

Quote
A very rash young lady pig
(They say she was a smasher)
Suddenly ran
Under a van
Now she's a gammon rasher.
http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/printed-books/milligan-spike-in-general/336121/
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 12/03/2009 02:11:56
Totally different (although I do draw inspiration from Milligan and Lear)
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 12/03/2009 09:14:57
emmmmmmm plagiarism alert............ LOL
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 12/03/2009 10:56:06
3 little piggies went for a drive,
Out in the country on the A45,
Look out! Too fast! Put the brake on!
Oops, too late. Now they're bacon

Very good! It even rhind.
Title: pig incident
Post by: dentstudent on 12/03/2009 11:06:50
That's an offal joke.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 12/03/2009 12:41:12
All this chitterling is very verbose.
Title: pig incident
Post by: Fluid_thinker on 12/03/2009 14:24:08
Theres snout wrong with a good pig joke
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 12/03/2009 15:29:04
Trotter long you silly people!
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 12/03/2009 15:29:57
Or, as they say in France, "Porkquoi?"
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 12/03/2009 16:16:24
That snort funny.
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 12/03/2009 16:36:36
You can't ride that pig so give me my SADDLEBACK.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 12/03/2009 20:12:19
In a pig's STY I will!
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 12/03/2009 22:39:44

There was a little pig
Who like a bit of pokey
Dying for a sig
It made his bacon smoky

Lying on his bed
Looking a little hokey
He pulled his charismas cracker
And got a little rhyming jokey

Bringing home the bacon
Your might become a hostage
So keep away from the mincers
Or you may become a Sausage!

No not very funny
Poking fun at pigs
I will certainly complain
Now where my bloody sigs
 
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 13/03/2009 00:21:34
Lord Almighty, what HAM-fisted verse!
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 13/03/2009 04:55:11
PARMA chameleon.
Title: pig incident
Post by: dentstudent on 13/03/2009 10:56:57
Anyone have any spare rib ticklers?
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 13/03/2009 12:29:18
i do i them from as talent snout
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 13/03/2009 13:50:12
OK, come on, KNUCKLE down now and lets get CRACKLING.
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 13/03/2009 16:45:42
stop hoging this topic.............  [:I]
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 13/03/2009 17:18:51
I'm off for to the barber, # 2 all over, so I wont be able to do my hair in PIG TAILS.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 13/03/2009 22:01:27
Don, P-LEASE !!

Stop HAMing it up! Jeees - you think you so funny and you don't even have hair. You're BALD. 
Title: pig incident
Post by: dentstudent on 13/03/2009 22:07:36
Somebody tell him you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. If he's bald, he'll need a piggy wig. From a market, probably. Anyway, I ran all the way home. And had roast, er, beef?
Title: pig incident
Post by: Fluid_thinker on 14/03/2009 13:36:00
if it is god swill,  the hashing will stop
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 14/03/2009 14:53:35
I'm listening to some classical music - CHOPin.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 14/03/2009 15:53:20
Then you also need a little Mozart from SALZberg to flavor your CHOPin.
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 15/03/2009 18:59:52
And PEASE pudding be on you too.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 15/03/2009 20:35:33
We need to get BACH to AU(h) JUS pork, que?
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 15/03/2009 20:36:18
(The above scores as a triple, I believe)
Title: pig incident
Post by: AllenG on 15/03/2009 21:11:03
A little story that happened to us a few years ago:

Yesterday, my sister was at the house with her youngest boy enjoying the pool. What a better way to beat the heat than read a book while watching your child do his best to pop a pool raft by landing on it from the diving board, you ask? Well I though it was an idyllic setting too, until I got a frantic call from my sister, screaming that there was a pig in the house, a huge pig, that she described with many modifiers ending in "ing".
I left work in the middle of a shoot (on a side note; one knows you live in a rural area when your client doesn't even bat an eye at such an excuse, as if hog invasions are a much more common occurrence than I would have thought, "Sure, hun, sounds like you need to hurry home"). I got home expecting to see "Hogzilla" in an easy chair and was not disappointed. What I found was my next door neighbor's grandchildren had accidently let his prize three hundred pound hog out, and the ensuing chase through the woods came to an end when Wilber went head first through my sliding glass door. The door did not break by the way, even after being bashed off its tracks, landing on a stone floor, and I expect being trampled by said pig. Good glass in that door.
My sister was standing on the couch, still yelling into the phone. She had called everyone she knew, the police or animal control were not on that list. My nephew's favorite thing at my house, besides the pool, is my old, single pump Daisy BB gun, which I am proud to say he was diligently using to defend his mother. Sister got a little miffed at me when I complimented him on his accuracy rather than scold him for shooting a gun in the house, but hey, when there is a hog in the house, rules change. The pig, having found the inside of my house not as inviting as he had hoped had already left through the same hole he entered, the neighbor's grandkids still in the woods, afraid to approach my house.
Today, I'm spending at home, cleaning. No real harm done but it does look like I staged a hobbit mud rastling contest. Every where from hip level down there is a hog sized swipe of mud. I think I'm ready for BBQ and will have an oriental rug, slightly soiled, for offer at my next yard sale.
Pork, the other white meat,
--A
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 15/03/2009 21:23:23
Allen - that's classic (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 15/03/2009 22:52:41
If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess. What comes to mind is a place I stopped for a "rest" break in Tennessee. A wide spot on the side of a hill called "Bucksnort" (I am not kidding - it is I-40).

However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.

Have you considered renaming the place you live Hog Bottom or Hog Ridge, depending on your terrain?

Here we just have feral hogs and javelinas. I just hate Razorbacks - the U of Arkansas mascot - always gave U. Tx hell when there was a Southwest Conference.
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 16/03/2009 01:58:37
Did someone mention Hogzilla ...

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2007/05/25/2007-05-25_alabama_boy_bags_1000pound_wild_hog.html



[Looks photoshopish to me, or forced perspective (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_perspective)]
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 16/03/2009 02:06:18
RD - that is 1 big porker! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-scared004.gif&hash=3770b5e19b9ace5b51eca305b94a101a) (http://www.freesmileys.org)

I love this quote from the article:

Quote
Mike Stone is having sausage made from the rest of the animal. "We'll probably get 500 to 700 pounds," he said.

That's a lot of sausage sarnies!
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 16/03/2009 02:09:17
Jim - May I be so brash as to FOG you?

If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess.

"Both" refers to 2 options, you put 3. You also missed the "is" between "an" and "educated".

Quote
However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.

It didn't have a swimming pool so it must be the place you did not mention as NOT having swimming pools? That doesn't make a lot of sense.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 16/03/2009 02:23:53
I suspect this to be a fake as the kid is resting his left arm on his knee. The 6th grader (12 year old) would need to be really large to be able to do that while kneeling, or even standing, behind a wild hog that size. But I watched the exhumation of "Hogzilla" on the National Geographic Channel and a skull the size of the one they dug up would easily go with a feral pig weighing 800 pounds.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 16/03/2009 02:29:30
Jim - May I be so brash as to FOG you?

If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess.

"Both" refers to 2 options, you put 3. You also missed the "is" between "an" and "educated".

Quote
However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.

It didn't have a swimming pool so it must be the place you did not mention as NOT having swimming pools? That doesn't make a lot of sense.


The first two are agreed to. (I was considering two states only, then realized that a third could also be considered. Failed to amend all of the post.) The last, NO!

The sister's son was in the swimming pool. Kentuk' and Tenn. do not have very many pools in peoples back yards. Thus only Arkansas is left in consideration.
Title: pig incident
Post by: AllenG on 16/03/2009 02:55:40
Thanks Doc.

If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess. What comes to mind is a place I stopped for a "rest" break in Tennessee. A wide spot on the side of a hill called "Bucksnort" (I am not kidding - it is I-40).

However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.

Have you considered renaming the place you live Hog Bottom or Hog Ridge, depending on your terrain?

Here we just have feral hogs and javelinas. I just hate Razorbacks - the U of Arkansas mascot - always gave U. Tx hell when there was a Southwest Conference.

Close Jimbob, North Georgia, in the town of Between. 
Goofiest name for a town in history. (town is pushing it, I'd say speed trap but we have to borrow cops from down the way--blink and you'll miss it)
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 16/03/2009 03:18:54
I suspect this to be a fake ...  

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


Me too.  [:)]
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 16/03/2009 03:36:31
Thanks Doc.

If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess. What comes to mind is a place I stopped for a "rest" break in Tennessee. A wide spot on the side of a hill called "Bucksnort" (I am not kidding - it is I-40).

However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.

Have you considered renaming the place you live Hog Bottom or Hog Ridge, depending on your terrain?

Here we just have feral hogs and javelinas. I just hate Razorbacks - the U of Arkansas mascot - always gave U. Tx hell when there was a Southwest Conference.

Close Jimbob, North Georgia, in the town of Between. 
Goofiest name for a town in history. (town is pushing it, I'd say speed trap but we have to borrow cops from down the way--blink and you'll miss it)

I considered Georgia - My sister lives near Trinity, Alabama and Going to Atlanta from there it is easier to go through Chattanooga and then south rather to south Alabama and north.

So, did you get 'er done? The mud cleaning that is.
Title: pig incident
Post by: Don_1 on 16/03/2009 10:43:21
I suspect this to be a fake ...  

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


Me too.  [:)]

This is no fake, it's Brown telling another huge pork pie!!! Nothing unusual or fake about that!
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 16/03/2009 14:49:31
I suspect this to be a fake as the kid is resting his left arm on his knee.

I thought he was leaning on the hog
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 16/03/2009 14:51:24
That Gordon Brown 1 is obviously fake. He hasn't got a twin brother!
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 16/03/2009 16:26:36
. [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 16/03/2009 17:13:01
Very good  [:D]
Title: pig incident
Post by: dentstudent on 16/03/2009 18:00:12
Is that his piggy bank?
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 16/03/2009 18:05:15
Yes, it has collapsed.
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 16/03/2009 18:32:27
What the hell... Jim made a joke that was actually rather amusing!  [:0]
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 16/03/2009 19:57:51
Your remark properly belongs in this thread:

http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=21212.0

Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 17/03/2009 00:20:19
Your remark properly belongs in this thread:

http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=21212.0



You won't hear me arguing with that.
Title: pig incident
Post by: AllenG on 17/03/2009 01:16:41

So, did you get 'er done? The mud cleaning that is.

I had no idea until that point why there is a hose spigot inside of my house.
It was very well planned. 

The horse bridle in the attic is disconcerting though. 
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 17/03/2009 13:20:16
Hi everyone i think i just piged out......................  [^]
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 17/03/2009 19:13:28

So, did you get 'er done? The mud cleaning that is.

I had no idea until that point why there is a hose spigot inside of my house.
It was very well planned. 

The horse bridle in the attic is disconcerting though. 

I would be a bit concerned, myself. Did the bridle come from the horse head in the previous owner's bed or is it the bridle from the horse that threw the little girl whos ghost now weeps each night in the unused room that remains so cold all the time?

There are other reasons to worry - such a German porno film makers passing through - but the dickens is -

NO ONE KNOWS !!
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 17/03/2009 19:28:59
You need help, Jim.
Title: pig incident
Post by: neilep on 17/03/2009 20:54:49
 [;D]


 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 17/03/2009 22:21:40
Neil! I'm disgruntled. How can you thus disparage our illustrious leader!? How can you liken him to a hooker? Hookers get paid for screwing us. Oh, I see what you mean. OK, fair play to you.
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 18/03/2009 00:41:00
You need help, Jim.

As well you should be MWAAHHAAAHHAHAAHAHAAHAHAH !

Neil, have you given up your job to Gordon?
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 18/03/2009 05:37:09
. [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: pig incident
Post by: Chemistry4me on 18/03/2009 05:46:25
Rebecca Loos? Who?
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 18/03/2009 06:29:45
Rebecca Loos? Who?

Quote
OUTRAGED viewers blasted TV channel Five yesterday for showing David Beckham scandal girl Rebecca Loos  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebecca_Loos) pleasuring a PIG.
The brunette, 27, stimulated the boar for ten minutes as she collected a flask of semen to inseminate sows.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article95732.ece
Title: pig incident
Post by: Chemistry4me on 18/03/2009 06:35:28
She did what?!? [:D]
Man that's funny. [:)]
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 18/03/2009 06:45:48
Rebecca Loos? Who?

She is also a friend of your fellow countryman Matthew Ridge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Ridge#Personal_life).
Title: pig incident
Post by: Chemistry4me on 18/03/2009 06:47:43
Yes, I didn't even know that until I read that Wiki article. [:)]
Title: pig incident
Post by: Hadrian on 18/03/2009 18:45:08

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Factivity4life.com%2Fphoto%2FfatBig.jpg&hash=7d21aa377be27631cd527b0a016366de)
Title: pig incident
Post by: paul.fr on 18/03/2009 19:24:35
Ones a boar, the other's a bore...but which is which?
Title: pig incident
Post by: Make it Lady on 18/03/2009 21:02:31
Did anyone see Heston Bluminekks exploding pig on the TV the other night. His diners nearly pooped themselves, especially cilla Black "ooh me uuuur do." I laughed myself silly it was so mad.
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 19/03/2009 01:26:01
Ones a boar, the other's a bore...but which is which?

 [;D]
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 19/03/2009 01:26:50
Quote
Heston Bluminekks

Who?
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 19/03/2009 02:33:35
Quote
Heston Bluminekks

Who?

She is hallucinating again. It was a Weight-Watchers advert.
Title: pig incident
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 19/03/2009 02:35:55
Quote
Heston Bluminekks

Who?

She is hallucinating again. It was a Weight-Watchers advert.

She was in it as the "before" photo
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 19/03/2009 07:30:13
Did anyone see Heston Bluminekks exploding pig on the TV the other night. His diners nearly pooped themselves

What do you mean "nearly" ...

Quote
Heston Blumenthal has shut the award-winning eatery - described in 2005 as the "the best place to eat on earth" - after up to 40 diners called in to say they were feeling unwell.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/feb/27/heston-blumenthal-fat-duck


You can't say his staff don't give a sh1t ...

Quote
Then all 70 staff - including 40 chefs - were sent away to give stool samples, Blumenthal revealed.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/feb/27/heston-blumenthal-fat-duck
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 20/03/2009 11:41:59
Breaking news: Heston is in the clear ...

Quote
Winter vomiting bug hit Blumenthal

4 hours ago

The mysterious health scare that led to the closure of Heston Blumenthal's award-winning restaurant may have been caused by the norovirus bug.

The chef temporarily shut The Fat Duck in Bray, Berkshire, for two weeks as a precaution after 40 diners fell ill.

Norovirus is commonly known as the "winter vomiting disease". Blumenthal said the cause was "categorically not food poisoning".
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5gozsBNPoln-bqZ3gQOGVMUHLngjw

Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 20/03/2009 18:53:41
Is this the same as SWINE flu?

This is a pig thread.  (noted by a proud member of the STB - Society of Thread Buggerers)

Please discuss the topic:

Do ells have feelings? And if so, should they be eaten?
Title: pig incident
Post by: RD on 21/03/2009 12:38:21
.
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Is this the same as SWINE flu? 
Title: pig incident
Post by: JimBob on 21/03/2009 17:22:50
My question was about ells. So you are being slippery.