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I understand what you are saying, that a person with your condition does not perceive they have any good meaning in life, but there must be people with the condition that do perceive they still have something meaningful in their life.Maybe these people who do still consider they have meaningfulness in their life, suffer from a milder form of the illness.Maybe a sufferers ''reward'' process still functions but the suppression and the individuals logic is greater than the reward. If feelings of sadness exist, then feelings still exist inside, it is only a state of being and logic that puts a person in this mind set.Logic and brain training is greater than any emotion. Disciplining the mind is what society has created from the birth of any individual. We are told what is right and wrong, we are told it is not normal to not to be happy at times, why is it not normal? is it normal when someone laughs when another person falls over?This is insanity behaviour, there is nothing funny about a person falling over. Is it logical that we are happy to get drunk and suffer all sorts of problems why we are out and the next day feel rough?Again logically insane. Logic is what is the key to your answer's you seek, telling yourself you have no purposely meaning is telling yourself logically this, just because you do not feel happy that does not mean you are not loved, this does not mean you have no purpose in life, living a robotic state, is not an illness, it is the realisation of the meaning of life that makes us this way. There is nothing I or you can do about realisation.
Famous artists/composers who struggled with depression which made them more creative/intelligent and made them inspire others with their works of art, then this would be the utmost insulting advice to me.
Yet you continue to use logic to try to find an answer, being creative in your thinking, looking to answer questions that probably the best psychologists in the world could not answer. Is your own testament of being here, not showing you what other people are telling you is correct? you have a purpose of now and being here is your own testament, you are purposely looking to find answers to an illness that effects many lives, that is a purpose in itself. One does not have to walk around 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week smiling and laughing , one does not even have to laugh at things other people would laugh at. I do not smile or laugh, am I unhappy? logically no although I do not ''feel'' happy.
before I decide to just give up on life and my composing dream entirely.
Quote from: Detective L Ryuzaki on 22/09/2015 00:37:56 before I decide to just give up on life and my composing dream entirely.Read your own words wisely, I decide is who decides.