Naked Science Forum
General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: paul.fr on 22/07/2008 16:47:09
-
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080718/tuk-uk-britain-sheep-fa6b408.html
LONDON (Reuters) - A Briton has been arrested on suspicion of carrying out a series of sex attacks on sheep, London police said on Friday.
The 27-year-old man was held at his home in Dulwich, south London, on suspicion of bestiality with sheep. He was also wanted in connection of the possession of drugs with intent to supply.
Detectives said the arrest followed allegations made to them in May and June.
"Two male joggers said they had observed a man molesting the sheep in a field at Botany Bay Lane, Chislehurst," police said in a statement.
"A similar incident was reported to police by a stables employee in the area."
Media reports said the man had been barred from visiting farmland while officers carried out their investigation.
-
You can't pull the wool over our eyes police said rather sheepishly; "It's proably just a bleeting romance" But the lamb remains silenced by the ordeal. After a thorough grilling by detectives it apears that some good shepherd chopped them without mincing around this was no ram raider but mutton dressed as lamb. The man made a clean breast of things adding he has enough on his plate already and had indeed been Baaaarred.
[:o)]
-
You can't pull the wool over our eyes police said rather sheepishly; "It's proably just a bleeting romance" But the lamb remains silenced by the ordeal. After a thorough grilling by detectives it apears that some good shepherd chopped them without mincing around this was no ram raider but mutton dressed as lamb. The man made a clean breast of things adding he has enough on his plate already and had indeed been Baaaarred.
[:o)]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F2.gif&hash=f3ac90d0f104dd89dbe260c598e013a8)
-
Oh sheepy, I told you never to take grass from stranger, at least not that sort of grass. I have some lanalin if you can't get enough from your fleece. It is very soothing.
-
I think Dan is the mastermind.
Andrew,
Yahoo are such a p1ss poor source for news, but if you read what they do put out, they throw some funny lines or words "Media reports said the man had been barred ". you just know this is all they do, sit around amusing themselves...i want that job!
-
You'd be good at it! LOL... Hugs Paul!
-
I love the puns from newspapers but seldom read papers these days due to the high level of bad news. I for one don't want to wallow in negativity.
This story made me smile and reminded me of a similar story where people on a train reported a man for having sex with a goat. As they sailed on by one can only imagine how their mundane thoughts for the day got derailed by the silly billy acting the goat.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece
-
I think Dan is the mastermind.
Thank you for thinking me as a mastermind [:-[] [;D]
But alas wasn't I [;)]
-
I think Dan is the mastermind.
This Dan?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dandare.org%2Fdan%2Fintro%2Fddd01.jpg&hash=b8dc1019fc1edc9a6056ff85ca938b45)
-
I think Dan is the mastermind.
Andrew,
Yahoo are such a p1ss poor source for news, but if you read what they do put out, they throw some funny lines or words "Media reports said the man had been barred ". you just know this is all they do, sit around amusing themselves...i want that job!
People that amuse themselves all day go blind and stunt their own growth!
-
I think Dan is the mastermind.
Andrew,
Yahoo are such a p1ss poor source for news, but if you read what they do put out, they throw some funny lines or words "Media reports said the man had been barred ". you just know this is all they do, sit around amusing themselves...i want that job!
People that amuse themselves all day go blind and stunt their own growth!
They then crusade through the forums posting warnings to others about what happens after "amusing yourself all day."
-
Dan,
You know you are the man!
MIL(F)
I have often been called a man that amuses himself.
-
Dan,
You know you are the man!
Awww, you always know what to say to make me feel special [:-[] [:X] [O8)]
-
Dan,
You know you are the man!
Awww, you always know what to say to make me feel special [:-[] [:X] [O8)]
Love is in the air
-
Ah love, the oxygen of life. Didn't know it was a component of air though.
-
More like hydrogen sulphide - it stinks!
-
More like hydrogen sulphide - it stinks!
Anyone around here bitter? [???]
-
Not bitter... sensible.
-
He's bitter, all right.
No joy in that person. Sits around morose all the time, kicking children and dogs.
-
Child and dog kicking are British sports along with traffic light nose picking and supermarket trolley heal clipping.
-
Sits around morose all the time, kicking children and dogs.
Children, yes. Dogs, no.
-
Americans eat dogs dont they? and some strange mince slapped on a bun with tomato ketchup Us brits love dogs but we dont eat them.
-
I've been an American all my life And I have never heard of americans eating dogs! They are our pets as you too..like....and as I say this.. I realize surely you were joking?
-
oh my.. I missed that one by a mile..Lol YOU GOT ME ANDREW! I FORGOT ABOUT HOT DOGS...WEINERS..ETC.. FOOT LONGS....LOL... i thought you mean real dogs......eweeeeeeeee!
-
:)
oh my.. I missed that one by a mile..Lol YOU GOT ME ANDREW! I FORGOT ABOUT HOT DOGS...WEINERS..ETC.. FOOT LONGS....LOL... i thought you mean real dogs......eweeeeeeeee!
-
[:D] smarty pants! Lol!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F14.gif&hash=a6e82280b3639f30d2ac73375497878f)
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F14.gif&hash=a6e82280b3639f30d2ac73375497878f)
I can only agree with my esteemed colleague.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F14.gif&hash=a6e82280b3639f30d2ac73375497878f)
I can only agree with my esteemed colleague.
At least you're seeing sense.
-
I see no money around. Are you balmy?
-
Nope. I'm not barmy either.
-
Re: first post, he could have been "Mutton Bustin'" ...
-
Have you ever seen "Mutton Bustin'" live.. It is so funny to watch those little kids ride the sheep.... there is also the one where they ride the hide or gunny sack.. It is crazy how those bitty little kids hang on!! LOL... I have been a few times to the rodeo when these little tikes get out there and do a heck of a job riding those crazy sheep!
-
Monkey on a dog, herding sheep (!)...
-
LOL LOL LOL...Thanks RD!
-
Perhaps they are watching "paint dry" LOL
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=e3TWhHYO7Qk
-
That monkey clip is hilarious. I was crying with laughter! [;D]
I wish I could ride a horse that well!
-
That is just sad, sick and sad. Sick, sad and a little bit weird. Sick, sad, weird and actually quite amusing in a sick, sad and weird way.
-
I've been hornswaggeled. There's no paint.
-
The blood has gone to his head. Get the nurse to prop you up and then perhaps you'll make more sense.
-
I've been hornswaggeled. There's no paint.
Are you a WWE fan?
-
My little boy is. I'll ask him what the old fool is on about.
-
I've been hornswaggeled. There's no paint.
I typed into YouTube yesterday "Watching Paint Dry" that was my
4th choice and it's title is "Watching Paint Dry" as you may have seen. Doctor Beaver???
-
Sharon - that question was directed at the Texan antique. There's a dwarf on WWE called Hornswaggle.
-
I understood that so that explains the hornswaggle and the paint. I will sleep easy tonight.
-
Hornswaggle - colloquial western American expression (in use way before any little amusement park gnome or the WWE ever existed) meaning to be deceived., having the wool pulled over your eyes, hood=winked, etc.
Obviously I am dealing with two poorly educated, illiterate creatures, one a bi-toothed wet-backed creature who can't keep his fir dry and the other a floozie that fashions herself a chemist. This absurdity is amusing - and rather tragic.
-
American expressions aren't usually worth bothering about as they are no more than total nonsense. Although I have to admit I like "cockamamie" (sp?) as a word.
-
It is a fact, however, that these expressions are from the English and Scottish settlers who colonized the Appalachian area in the early 1800's - so blame the English if you believe total nonsense is the result. It is a fair site better than cursing like a British tar.
-
He is right you know but what he fails to realise is that in Britain English evolved but in America it remained the same. No imagination or innovation you see.
-
He is right you know but what he fails to realise is that in Britain English evolved but in America it remained the same. No imagination or innovation you see.
Agreed
-
He is right you know but what he fails to realise is that in Britain English evolved but in America it remained the same. No imagination or innovation you see.
Agreed
Seconded
-
He is right you know but what he fails to realise is that in Britain English evolved but in America it remained the same. No imagination or innovation you see.
Agreed
Seconded
Vetoed - what you fail to realize is that all Americans can understand each other as we have maintained English in it pure form by continual education and demanding standards of pronunciation. I the UK a person living in the center of London can't understand a person from Grave's End or Swanscomb. Lord forbid that they be required to speak to someone from Liverpool, Manchester, or Newcastle. Glasgow is just out of the communication loop - at least in English.
-
I also cite this thread.
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=16248.0
No other comment or argument is needed to prove my point.
-
He is right you know but what he fails to realise is that in Britain English evolved but in America it remained the same. No imagination or innovation you see.
Agreed
Seconded
I the UK a person living in the center of London can't understand a person from Grave's End or Swanscomb. Lord forbid that they be required to speak to someone from Liverpool, Manchester, or Newcastle. Glasgow is just out of the communication loop - at least in English.
What absolute twaddle! Most people in the UK can understand people from other parts perfectly well. Anyway, are you telling me that a Louisianna swampdog would have no problems conversing with a Bronx cab driver?
Glasgow is different because thats in a different country. You may just have well said that about Kiev or Timbuctu.
P.S. It's Gravesend not Grave's End, and it's only about 10 miles outside London. See? Americans know nothing about geography!
-
P.S. It's Gravesend not Grave's End, and it's only about 10 miles outside London. See? Americans know nothing about geography!
OK - Spelling was wrong BUT central Londoners not being able to speak with East-Enders is just tragic. And a symptom of the spoken doggerel that permeates the British Isle.
-
P.S. It's Gravesend not Grave's End, and it's only about 10 miles outside London. See? Americans know nothing about geography!
OK - Spelling was wrong BUT central Londoners not being able to speak with East-Enders is just tragic. And a symptom of the spoken doggerel that permeates the British Isle.
Who told you that Central Londoners can't understand East Enders? It's complete rubbish. East Enders do NOT talk like Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins.
-
Doc your a star, I laughed my socks off at the link Jim provided :) Birmingham can also be Brummigem Burningham Brum, but the inhabitants are usually called Brummies, whereas us Blackcountry folk are called Yam Yam's
-
"Cockney represents the basilectal* end of the London accent ...."
"Cockney is characterized by its own special vocabulary and usage, and traditionally by its own development of "rhyming slang." Rhyming slang, is still part of the true Cockney culture even if it is sometimes used for effect. More information on the way it works can be found under the Cockney English features section."
(*ba-si-lect (bay'zuh lekt , baz'uh-) n.
1. a variety of a language, esp. a creolized
one, that is most distinct from the
acrolect.
[1960-65; basi- (as comb. form of BASE 1 or
BASIS) + (DIA) LECT]
Derived words
--ba si-lec'tal, adj. )
http://www.ic.arizona.edu/~lsp/CockneyEnglish.html
==========================================================
Cockney speech
Cockney speakers have a distinctive accent and dialect, and frequently use Cockney rhyming slang. The Survey of English Dialects took a recording from a long-time resident of Hackney.[10]
John Camden Hotten, in his Slang Dictionary of 1859 makes reference to "their use of a peculiar slang language" when describing the costermongers of London's East End. In terms of other slang, there are also several borrowings from Yiddish, including kosher (originally Hebrew, via Yiddish, meaning legitimate) and shtumm (/ʃtʊm/ originally German, via Yiddish, meaning quiet[11]), as well as Romany, for example wonga (meaning money, from the Romany "wanga" meaning coal[12]), and cushty (from the Romany kushtipen, meaning good). A fake Cockney accent, as used by some actors, is sometimes called 'Mockney'.
[edit] Typical features
* H-dropping[13]
* Broad /ɑː/ is used when the letter a precedes /f/, /s/, /θ/ and sometimes /nd/ (in words such as bath, path, demand, etc), which originated in London but has now spread across the south-east and into Received Pronunciation. However, there are exceptions to this rule; for example, the word maths or masculine.[14]
* T-glottalisation: Use of the glottal stop as an allophone of /t/ in various positions,[15][16] including after a stressed syllable. /t/ may also be flapped intervocalically.[17]
* Glottal stops also occur, albeit less frequently for /k/ and /p/, and occasionally for mid-word consonants. For example, Richard Whiteing spelt "Hyde Park" as Hy' Par' . Like and light can be homophones. "Clapham" can be said as Cla'am.[18]
* Loss of dental fricatives:[19]
o /θ/ becomes [f] in all environments. [mæfs] "maths"
o /ð/ becomes [v] in all environments except word-initially when it is [d]. [bɒvə] "bother," [dæɪ] "they." Sometimes, this occurs mid-word, as "Bethnall Green" can become Bednall Green.[20]
* Diphthong alterations:[21]
o /eɪ/ → [æɪ]: [bæɪʔ] "bait"
o /əʊ/ → [æʉ]: [kʰæʉʔ] "coat"
o /aɪ/ → [ɑɪ]: [bɑɪʔ] "bite"
o /aʊ/ may be [æə]: [tʰæən] "town"
* Other vowel differences include
o /æ/ → [ɛ̝] or [ɛi]:[22] [tʰɛ̝n] "tan"
o /ʌ/ → [ɐ̟][23]
o /ɔː/ → /oː/ when in non-final position[24]
o /iː/ → [əi]:[25] [bəiʔ] "beet"
o /uː/ → [əʉ] or [ʉː]:[26] [bʉːʔ] "boot"
* Vocalisation of dark l, hence [mɪowɔː] for Millwall. The actual realization of a vocalized /l/ is influenced by surrounding vowels and it may be realized as ,
* Cockney has been occasionally described as replacing /r/ with /w/. For example, thwee instead of three, fwasty instead of frosty. Peter Wright, a Survey of English Dialects fieldworker, concluded that this was not a universal feature of Cockneys but that it was more common to hear this in the London area than anywhere else in Britain.[28]
* As with many urban dialects, Cockney is non-rhotic. A final -er is often pronounced as [ə]. Words such as car, far, park, etc. can have an open [ɑː].[29]
* An unstressed final -ow is pronounced [ə]. This is common to most traditional, Southern English dialects except for those in the West Country.[30]
* Grammatical features:[13]
o Use of me instead of my, for example, "At's me book you got 'ere ". Cannot be used when "my" is emphasised (i.e., "At's my book you got 'ere" (and not "his")).
o Use of ain't instead of isn't, am not, are not, has not, and have not
* Use of double negatives, for example "I didn't see nothing."[31]
Most of the features mentioned above have, in recent years, partly spread into more general south-eastern speech, giving the accent called Estuary English; an Estuary speaker will use some but not all of the Cockney sounds.[citation needed]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockney
-
For a start, Cockneys do NOT come from the East End of London. That is a fallacy. A Cockney must be born within the sound of Bow bells. This is wrongly assumed to refer to the church in Bow, East London. In fact, it is a church in the City of London, St Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside.
-
Doc your a star, I laughed my socks off at the link Jim provided :) Birmingham can also be Brummigem Burningham Brum, but the inhabitants are usually called Brummies, whereas us Blackcountry folk are called Yam Yam's
It can also be pronounced Burbiggub. [:D]
-
For a start, Cockneys do NOT come from the East End of London. That is a fallacy. A Cockney must be born within the sound of Bow bells. This is wrongly assumed to refer to the church in Bow, East London. In fact, it is a church in the City of London, St Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside.
Well I'll go to the foot of our apples and pears.
-
For a start, Cockneys do NOT come from the East End of London. That is a fallacy. A Cockney must be born within the sound of Bow bells. This is wrongly assumed to refer to the church in Bow, East London. In fact, it is a church in the City of London, St Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside.
Well I'll go to the foot of our apples and pears.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F3.gif&hash=4a73471b3f75f56b8b692ee78b853504)
-
For a start, Cockneys do NOT come from the East End of London. That is a fallacy. A Cockney must be born within the sound of Bow bells. This is wrongly assumed to refer to the church in Bow, East London. In fact, it is a church in the City of London, St Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside.
So what does all of this locah history have to do with the fact that A Londoner cannot understand the "basilectal* end of the London accent ...." of a Cockney, wherever the dickens they are from within the city.
The fact that two people claim to speak the same language yet are unable to communicate - except perhaps by gestures and grunts - is proof that there is something sadly wrong with the British. At least we Americans can understand each other no matter where we live or are born.
Sick, sick peoples in that island off Europe.
-
So what does all of this locah history have to do with the fact that A Londoner cannot understand the "basilectal* end of the London accent ...." of a Cockney, wherever the dickens they are from within the city.
As I said previously, that is simply not true.
At least we Americans can understand each other no matter where we live or are born
So you could happily converse with a black gangsta from the blocks and understand him perfectly well, could you?
Let's see. What does this mean...
Cop it straight from the bay, tap dance on the yay. Your people make a G day.
-
So what does all of this locah history have to do with the fact that A Londoner cannot understand the "basilectal* end of the London accent ...." of a Cockney, wherever the dickens they are from within the city.
As I said previously, that is simply not true.
At least we Americans can understand each other no matter where we live or are born
So you could happily converse with a black gangsta from the blocks and understand him perfectly well, could you?
Let's see. What does this mean...
Cop it straight from the bay, tap dance on the yay. Your people make a G day.
THAT is just blarny that makes no sense even to you, castor.
-
But it's how some Americans speak, and all Americans can understand each other.
-
May I remind JimBob that Britain is part of Europe not an Island off Europe.
-
May I remind JimBob that Britain is part of Europe not an Island off Europe.
erm, excuse me. Europe is that place off the coast of Britain!
-
Might have know that Beaver is a member of UKIP.
-
With the emphasis on KIP (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F12.gif&hash=02142e27740e5c96697b3e6b50e97869)
-
Night! Oh, just saw Batman the Dark Knight. What a load of cods wallop.
-
He is right you know but what he fails to realise is that in Britain English evolved but in America it remained the same. No imagination or innovation you see.
Agreed
In other word, American English is the truest English spoken. UK English as it is now is a mishmash of garbled words understood only in a small area. The UK is fragmenting into smaller and smaller tribes, lacking unity.
-
He is right you know but what he fails to realise is that in Britain English evolved but in America it remained the same. No imagination or innovation you see.
Agreed
In other word, American English is the truest English spoken.
Oh dear, wrong yet again. You really should stick to subjects you actually know something about. That truest English is spoken in Stirling, Scotland.
-
But not in England
-
May I remind JimBob that Britain is part of Europe not an Island off Europe.
erm, excuse me. Europe is that place off the coast of Britain!
So true
For a start, Cockneys do NOT come from the East End of London. That is a fallacy. A Cockney must be born within the sound of Bow bells. This is wrongly assumed to refer to the church in Bow, East London. In fact, it is a church in the City of London, St Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside.
Does that mean as me mickey mouse were I was born in london is beyond the audible range of the bells that one day in the future wif a favourable wind and on a day that a Hair Gel ringer wif stronger than normal muscles pulls on the cords I could aw of a sudden become a cockney.
-
May I remind JimBob that Britain is part of Europe not an Island off Europe.
erm, excuse me. Europe is that place off the coast of Britain!
So true
For a start, Cockneys do NOT come from the East End of London. That is a fallacy. A Cockney must be born within the sound of Bow bells. This is wrongly assumed to refer to the church in Bow, East London. In fact, it is a church in the City of London, St Mary-le-Bow in Cheapside.
Does that mean as me mickey mouse were I was born in london is beyond the audible range of the bells that one day in the future wif a favourable wind and on a day that a Hair Gel ringer wif stronger than normal muscles pulls on the cords I could aw of a sudden become a cockney.
Not arf, geez. I suppose it's all down to yer shells, like. Cor blimey, me ol' China, if yuz gowt Prince Charlie shells yuz could be a bleedin' cockney in Dublin!
P.S. Is it hair gel or nasty smell? [:D]
-
When I was in my late teens/early 20s, a friend and I invented "Pigeon European Rhyming Slang". The idea was that you incorporated as many languages as possible per sentence, but using a word that rhymed with the actual word you wanted (it didn't have to be in the same language). Needless to say, we didn't have an effin clue what each other was saying! [;D]
-
It seems that all of that curry has burned out the brain cells of the English.
The race has become microcephalic since Viscount Lord Louis Mountbatten left as Governor-General of India in 1947. Having lost an empire, the English have descended into a delusional state of defending anything "English" as the only way to do things, renouncing all else, even sensible, logical arguments and theories.
Ah, for the good old days when you could flog a tar around the fleet, feeling superior all the while and having the power to do it, even if it were unjust. That's the British way!
Now, language can be flogged about as "right and proper." Gotta' have something to feel superior about!
-
Hang on, cowpoke - you started on the "correct English" bit, not me. I merely tried to educate you on the subject.
-
Hang on, cowpoke - you started on the "correct English" bit, not me. I merely tried to educate you on the subject.
And a very poor job you did, ending up trying to convince me that I either had to choose between "Is it hair gel or nasty smell?"
-
Not a difficult choice - hair gel does't apply to you, does it!
-
On our tranny night (FRIDAYS - not Saturdays) it most certainly does, as you well know. I fix your hair and you fix mine.
-
On our tranny night (FRIDAYS - not Saturdays) it most certainly does, as you well know. I fix your hair and you fix mine.
You mean I fix your wig in place.
-
WOULD YOU QUIT TELLING SECRETS!
We BOTH do it so don't go getting nippy on me!
-
I don't want anything to do with your nippies, thank you very much! [:(!]
-
What are your Tranny names. You have to have a Tranny name or you can't join Tranny club.
-
Jemima & Bev. I thought everyone knew that.
-
And don't believe him, Bev loves my nippys!