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Messages - Don_1
1
« on: 22/05/2013 11:42:13 »
When it comes to Richard IIIs (turds) I am only an expert in sense that I can ............ Hmmm perhaps I should not continue in this line.
I think you will find that there are several factors which determine how poo will rate in the pong and consistancy charts.
For starters there will be the actual diet. For the herbivores this could be grasses, broad leaf plants, flowers or bark, not to forget seeds, fruit and nuts, or a combination of them. Grasses tend to have a poor nutritional value so many animals will 'chew the cud'. That is they regergitate and re-chew their food. Others, like the rabbit will excrete the indigestable fibre quickly so the more nutritional remains can be moved back to the caecum where bacteria and fungi do their job. The bovine gut has bacteria which can break down the more fiberous grasses.
So it not only the differing diet and gut, but also the differing flora of the gut which will make a great deal of difference to the end product.
2
« on: 18/05/2013 22:34:30 »
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.
I had hoped to see many such meetings, but I have seen at once.
3
« on: 18/05/2013 22:32:43 »
Full credit and thanks to Don_1 for circling the "LA" for me!
I had always intended on being capable of this and this only. Some say its la ment able.
4
« on: 15/05/2013 08:48:42 »
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
5
« on: 15/05/2013 08:21:36 »
The senator said to his wife, "Its no good, we'll not get the money for this project, the Emperor's tit as as ducks ass."
6
« on: 15/05/2013 08:18:20 »
I was looking at some motor scooters when a salesman said, "Hello Sir, my name is Ian, is there anything I can help you with?"
I said, "Yes, actually there is, I have looked at the Lambrettas and the Peugeots, but where are the Vespas Ian?"
I must confess that hadr Ian not helped me I would never have found them. But then that is what salesmen are for, to server us.
He offered me a drink and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said, "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea and a gord, Ian."
A pestering wasp was flying around my gourd, so Ian set about it with no concern for getting himself stung. At last the wasp fell to the ground. I exclaimed "By Jove Ian, you handled the situation with great Valer Ian."
He had dropped the magazine he had used to deal the fatal blow to the wasp, so I picked it up, handed it to him and asked, "Is this your Maxim Ian?"
Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."
One must always ceaser the opportunity to link one's puns.
7
« on: 15/05/2013 08:09:00 »
A Centurion was bringing a young christian virgin slave for duties in the royal household. As she broke free of his grip and made a run for freedom, the Centurion called to the Emperor Augustus "Seize her!"
8
« on: 15/05/2013 07:54:50 »
A favourite weapon of some gladiators was the talons of birds of prey.
Christians who were about to die by this terrible means were made to stand in the arena
and announce to the Emperor, "By claw die us this day".
9
« on: 15/05/2013 07:48:08 »
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.
One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
10
« on: 15/05/2013 07:30:47 »
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.
May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
11
« on: 15/05/2013 07:24:37 »
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
12
« on: 15/05/2013 07:18:25 »
"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
You have to marble marvel at this work of art. In a modern copy made of concrete, they are depicted as having cemented their relationship.
13
« on: 14/05/2013 08:44:55 »
Buy a fountain pen. You'll probably find many on offer on eBay or any half respectable stationer or craft shop will stock them. The advanced intelligence spy shop you found obviously isn't so advanced or intelligent if they sell ink but not pens. Here you are :- Fountain pen on eBay. Quite ex pensive though, it will cost you a whole $0.01 or £0.01 and shipping from HK is FREE!!!
14
« on: 14/05/2013 08:12:19 »
Right, that set a target for you Demo, a Latin pun! Beat that.
And don't be late in coming up with your response.
15
« on: 14/05/2013 08:11:00 »
When it comes to the classical arts, we quite enjoy ballet, we think it a good mode us. Opera 'nd I, however do not get on well together.
16
« on: 14/05/2013 08:01:41 »
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week
Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette.
Be sure to follow the pro to call.
Be sure, when following a pro to call that you don't get arrested for kirb crawling.
17
« on: 14/05/2013 07:59:48 »
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week
It is always my custom to eat in the manners pertaining to the local, so it is that when eating apples I always de core 'em first.
18
« on: 13/05/2013 09:12:17 »
•
.....some sheet music ............
I didn't think it was that bad. Sheet music
19
« on: 13/05/2013 09:09:26 »
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????
I was taken hook, line & sinker by some tricksters. They sold me the freehold on the flats. It was only later that I discovered it was a con, dominian over the properties was already held by the tenants.
20
« on: 12/05/2013 00:30:19 »
........ all in sects.
Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects. When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.
21
« on: 12/05/2013 00:19:24 »
Back in August 2008, some damn fool joined thisy here forum and posed thisy here question: http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=16682.msg192114#msg192114We are being told by marine biologists, meteorologists and a host of others, that the ocean's temperatures are rising. Cited as evidence for this is the retreat of the polar ice caps and migration of fish toward the cooler waters, amongst other natural phenomena.
Would I be right, therefore, in coming to this conclusion?
The higher ocean temperatures result in more evaporation. This increase in evaporation leads to more condensation when the water vapour laden air reaches land causing the increase in cloud cover and precipitation that the British mainland is currently experiencing. As this cloud cover prevents the Sun’s rays from warming the land, the condensation increases, the cloud cover increases and so it goes on in a vicious circle.
If this is correct, can we in Britain expect to see a repetition of this type of summer weather in future years?Now I don't want to suggest that I was right back then, but......... I wonder, could the weather itself actually have an effect upon itself? Could the cold air being sucked south from the artic by the jet stream being far to the south, be preventing the jet stream from driftting north?
22
« on: 11/05/2013 23:41:32 »
Aye-aye
Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!
Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.
23
« on: 11/05/2013 23:32:57 »
That land 'tis a strange place.
"You will find there a strange species of Lemur", Ian said.
24
« on: 10/05/2013 23:42:11 »
A fisherman hated  but he didn't tell a sole.
That's the thing about fishermen, they know their plaice. I gave a loan shark a rather unwell cephalopod today. "What's this?" he enquired, I said "Its that six quid I owe you".
25
« on: 07/05/2013 10:45:03 »
Okay, so dinosaurs came in all sizes, but still, the largest land dinosaurs was much larger than the largest land mammals.
Is it because huge warm-blooded land mammals would have difficulty getting rid of the heat they would generate? Whales can grow to huge sizes because they are in water, and water is a good heat sink as well as being able to support them physically.
You are overlooking the plesiosaurs, pliosaurs, ichthyosaurs and mosasaurs, the marine dinosaurs. Also the Archelon, though not a dinosaur, this 4m long 2 ton turtle also fell foul of the KT event. Archelon was a surface feeder and the marine dinosaurs would have had to remain close to the surface in order to breathe. What ever brought about the end of the dinosaur's reign, it was not a single condition, but a combination of changes, some of which preceeded the KT event. The KT event was perhaps the straw that broke the camel's back. So why no giant mammals? Perhaps for no other reason than they did not need great size. Perhaps mutations which were leading to great size proved to be less efficient than their smaller counterparts, so they were not the ideal mate. Optimum size achieved, larger offspring fail the test of natural selection.
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