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Author Topic: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity  (Read 39355 times)

Offline Titanscape

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Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« on: 03/09/2004 17:44:59 »
Fellows, if you met a young woman and had been wanting to find a wife, that's a life long committed relationship, that you even enter into with a prayer, how faithful do you want her? Or him as it is in ladies' cases.

Let's say she or he is the right one but not being brought really well, perhaps because of divorce... She confesses to being almost unable to stop having sexual phantasies and sometimes maturbates. She is honest and then do you tell her to have phantasies of you only when she can't help herself or what if she says she respects you and can't bear to think of you that way?

And do you ask her not to look at porn and perve?


Titanscape


 

Offline tweener

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #1 on: 08/09/2004 03:35:10 »
Don't try to change someone else.  It won't work and you'll both be miserable for the trying.  If you can't live with her the way she is, keep shopping.

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John - The Eternal Pessimist.
 

Offline olam

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #2 on: 25/08/2006 22:47:24 »
yes,keeping shopping you might see someone that you may love but not love you ........................if you love all wat she or he love and have may be by birth or other things love does not hate


creativity brings life
 

Offline Mirage

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #3 on: 29/08/2006 19:18:41 »
quote:
Originally posted by tweener

Don't try to change someone else.  It won't work and you'll both be miserable for the trying.  If you can't live with her the way she is, keep shopping.

----
John - The Eternal Pessimist.



Exactly. People have their own little faults and habits. You can't change that or them. If you could change someone to be your perfect partner then it would be boring. There would be no excitement as nothing would catch you off guard.

Having fantasies is normal, it's also something that is very hard to stop, if not impossible. As long as the fantasies stay as fantasies then you shouldn't worry, it's when people try to act them out that trouble can follow. The same with masturbation, it's natural to fiddle, enjoy it, and dare I say it, join in. It's something that can make your sex life even more intense ;)

Everyone has flaws, and to me these flaws attract me to a person. Granted some flaws are harder to accept, but if you really love the person you will accept it and even love them for it.

Everyone is unique and thank god

Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps
 

Offline thayo

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #4 on: 29/08/2006 19:34:50 »
Mirage, of course flaws are parts of the very being of human. For one who believes he does not want to be flawed in any setting either in a family, work, friendship or intimate relationship must accept and acknowledge that the parties involved must have flaws even if they decide to conceal it from one's observation. To my best knowledge it solidifies relationship and makes stands the test of time.[:X][^]:)

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world
« Last Edit: 29/08/2006 19:37:18 by thayo »
 

Offline Mirage

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #5 on: 29/08/2006 19:42:11 »
Ummmm, yeah

Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps
 

Offline thayo

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #6 on: 29/08/2006 20:06:26 »
Are you on track with that?

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world
 

Offline Carolyn

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #7 on: 29/08/2006 20:14:39 »
quote:
Originally posted by Titanscape

Fellows, if you met a young woman and had been wanting to find a wife, that's a life long committed relationship, that you even enter into with a prayer, how faithful do you want her? Or him as it is in ladies' cases.

Let's say she or he is the right one but not being brought really well, perhaps because of divorce... She confesses to being almost unable to stop having sexual phantasies and sometimes maturbates. She is honest and then do you tell her to have phantasies of you only when she can't help herself or what if she says she respects you and can't bear to think of you that way?

And do you ask her not to look at porn and perve?


Titanscape



Hi Bren - Just out of curiosity, can she expect the same from you?  I don't think there is anything abnormal or immoral about having sexual fantasies (even if the fantasies aren't about your partner) or masturbating.  I'm speaking as a happily married woman of 19 years.  You can't force someone to only have fantasies of you and only you.  It just doesn't work like that.  I live on the coast and I see lots of gorgeous, half naked men.  You would be SHOCKED[:0]by what I was thinking (but my husband would'nt be surprised at all). Just as I am not shocked by him looking at half naked women.  I agree with Dan/Mirage.  Don't try to stop the fantasies - JOIN IN.  

Please bear in mind Bren, that what I said above, in my personal opinion is not acceptable for casual relationships. If you, or anyone else is looking for and expecting perfection in a relationship, you're in for a lonely life.  Good luck to you.

Carolyn
 

Offline thayo

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #8 on: 29/08/2006 20:32:44 »
Fantasies have come to stay, it only needs one careful mind to hand it, perfection seem not be a quality of created beings like ours, Carolyn, is it not time to initiate fantasies club.............don't you concur

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world
 

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #9 on: 29/08/2006 21:04:47 »
quote:
Originally posted by Mirage
Exactly. People have their own little faults and habits. You can't change that or them. If you could change someone to be your perfect partner then it would be boring. There would be no excitement as nothing would catch you off guard.

Having fantasies is normal, it's also something that is very hard to stop, if not impossible. As long as the fantasies stay as fantasies then you shouldn't worry, it's when people try to act them out that trouble can follow. The same with masturbation, it's natural to fiddle, enjoy it, and dare I say it, join in. It's something that can make your sex life even more intense ;)

Everyone has flaws, and to me these flaws attract me to a person. Granted some flaws are harder to accept, but if you really love the person you will accept it and even love them for it.

Everyone is unique and thank god



I would go further how can you even have a relationship with a perfect person.  Don't relationships depend upon mutual need, and it is only by the inadequacies of an individual that the individual can come to need someone else.

The other problem with perfection is that when you add up all of the characteristics of whom you would consider to be a perfect person, or a perfect partner you would find them so riddled with contradictions that no human being could fulfil one requirement without violating another requirement somewhere else.  This, by the way, is also another reason why I don't believe it is possible to consider the the notion of a perfect God and how could one ever have a truly human relationship with a God or Godess.



George
 

Offline Mirage

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #10 on: 29/08/2006 21:15:11 »
I agree.

There is no perfect someone, it's a myth. You can have a lot in common with someone, love lots of things about that someone, but they will never be perfect. The strange thing is, you may well refer to them as being your perfect someone though.

To be honest at this point I have no idea if what I have said makes any sense as my brain still hasn't fully rebooted yet. Plus I don't feel very deep tonight ;)

Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps
 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #11 on: 29/08/2006 23:23:13 »
That was nice Dan and  what lovely thoughts. Nice to see you still postin!

Karen
 

Offline Carolyn

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #12 on: 30/08/2006 04:16:52 »
quote:
Originally posted by Mirage



I agree.

There is no perfect someone, it's a myth. You can have a lot in common with someone, love lots of things about that someone, but they will never be perfect. The strange thing is, you may well refer to them as being your perfect someone though.

To be honest at this point I have no idea if what I have said makes any sense as my brain still hasn't fully rebooted yet. Plus I don't feel very deep tonight ;)

Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps



I agree Dan. Perfection is a fairy tale.  However, I posted in another thread "perfect combinations", that studmuffin and myself were a perfect combo.  I believe that.  We are so different.  Growin up he was the wild child, trouble making hellion, and I was the goody goody, Daddy's little girl.   It truly is comical.  But that works for us.  He's one of the biggest A**hole s-o-b I've ever met.  I'm not so easy to live with either.  Most of the time, we agree on everything.  Sometimes we have big monster arguments.  We always work through it.  Sometimes I even let him win.;)  The bottom line is this.  I trust my husband with my life and more importantly, the lives of my children.  And he, I hope, feels the same about me.  For me, that's as close to perfection as one can hope to get.

Ok all this mushy stuff is making me nauseated.

Carolyn
« Last Edit: 30/08/2006 04:17:58 by Carolyn »
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #13 on: 30/08/2006 05:16:40 »
Yes, It is making one nauseated here...lol

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #14 on: 30/08/2006 05:21:12 »
I love it!!

Karen
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #15 on: 30/08/2006 05:27:45 »
You are the queen of romance!

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline thayo

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #16 on: 30/08/2006 08:50:40 »
who then happens to be the King, prince and princess

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world
 

Offline Grecian

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #17 on: 30/08/2006 10:05:12 »

I love it too, more, more, more.

As I don't beleive that it could happen to me, I want to read

it from you lovely peeps here.

Enough to sustain me for the 2wks that I will be away for on my

hols. LOL


Love you lots

Helena  xxx







« Last Edit: 30/08/2006 10:21:40 by Grecian »
 

another_someone

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #18 on: 30/08/2006 12:04:34 »
quote:
Originally posted by thayo

who then happens to be the King, prince and princess

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world



Oh, I'm sure we have lots of princes and princesses - or at least pretenders to the throne :)  But not every prince or princess gets to be a King or a Queen.



George
 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #19 on: 30/08/2006 12:11:59 »
So True George.
  Good morning my nice friend! Sleep came to me in a 7 and 1/2 hour block and I thank you for easing my spirit and helping me to sleep!! Thanks friend!


Karen
 

Offline Mirage

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #20 on: 30/08/2006 16:31:37 »
quote:
Originally posted by Carolyn

quote:
Originally posted by Mirage



I agree.

There is no perfect someone, it's a myth. You can have a lot in common with someone, love lots of things about that someone, but they will never be perfect. The strange thing is, you may well refer to them as being your perfect someone though.

To be honest at this point I have no idea if what I have said makes any sense as my brain still hasn't fully rebooted yet. Plus I don't feel very deep tonight ;)

Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps



I agree Dan. Perfection is a fairy tale.  However, I posted in another thread "perfect combinations", that studmuffin and myself were a perfect combo.  I believe that.  We are so different.  Growin up he was the wild child, trouble making hellion, and I was the goody goody, Daddy's little girl.   It truly is comical.  But that works for us.  He's one of the biggest A**hole s-o-b I've ever met.  I'm not so easy to live with either.  Most of the time, we agree on everything.  Sometimes we have big monster arguments.  We always work through it.  Sometimes I even let him win.;)  The bottom line is this.  I trust my husband with my life and more importantly, the lives of my children.  And he, I hope, feels the same about me.  For me, that's as close to perfection as one can hope to get.

Ok all this mushy stuff is making me nauseated.

Carolyn




It sounds like you both excite each other with not being able to agree sometimes and so argue. To me it all comes down to the little things that can get under your skin, not in a big way, so you find your parnter exciting and interesting. I want someone who isn't going to agree with me all the time, have silly agruments and then make up again. I want to be interested in what a partner has to say, the way she thinks. The 'perfect' partner for me is someone who has similar traits to me but is completely different.....if that makes any sense.



Thank you Karen [:X]




Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps
« Last Edit: 30/08/2006 16:32:28 by Mirage »
 

Offline Carolyn

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #21 on: 30/08/2006 16:50:44 »
Makes perfect sense to me.  In fact, hubby and I are having a small disagreement now.  I'm very annoyed with him.  He will be coming home for lunch soon.  I'm sure we'll argue at lunch but look forward to the making up for dessert.

Carolyn

 

Offline Mirage

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #22 on: 30/08/2006 16:57:54 »
Good, I wasn't sure as sometimes what I say doesn't always make sense.

So whipped cream for dessert then   ;)

Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps
 

another_someone

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #23 on: 30/08/2006 17:12:12 »
I don't do arguments well maybe that is one of the reasons why I have never been in a long term romantic relationship but I would hate to be with someone who always agreed with me (in fact, I find nothing more disconcerting than having people agree with me it makes me feel I should be disagreeing with myself).



George
« Last Edit: 30/08/2006 17:13:04 by another_someone »
 

Offline Mirage

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #24 on: 30/08/2006 17:24:17 »
........... I agree.........

Some days it's not even worth knawing at the straps
 

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Re: Girlfriend/boyfriend fidelity
« Reply #24 on: 30/08/2006 17:24:17 »

 

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