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Author Topic: Hey, Jimbob  (Read 54968 times)

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #25 on: 27/02/2008 19:11:17 »
Madame,

Being as matronly as you are I will indulge this interruption in our discussion as an inadvertent  faux pas. Had you been younger, a general castigation would have been in order.

Had you read the dialogue of our complete discourse, you would see that Doctor Beaver is staying at the main house of my estate here in Texas. After a complete beach of gentlemanly conduct - drinking tequila with the help, of all things - he passed out at the back garden entrance. I was awoken by Butler at 1:30 AM and asked if we should bring the reprobate into the coal cellar. I decided against this as it would involve waking more of my staff and went myself, grabbed the tarp over the compose heap and put it over the recumbent form of the Beaver. 'Let him suffer the consequences of his actions' were my thoughts. I did want him to survive so that he might have the opportunity to repent of his ways in the future.

Speaking of the future, I am sure we would appreciate a personal message before just jumping into the discussion between two individuals uninvited. Thank you for your future thoughtfulness.

 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #26 on: 27/02/2008 20:12:10 »
oops! sorry not done this forum thingy before. It is harder than it looks. I'm going out to get drunk now and to sob, and on my birthday too. I will not speak to you again.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #27 on: 27/02/2008 20:12:19 »
Ever
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #28 on: 27/02/2008 22:17:55 »
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #29 on: 27/02/2008 22:36:43 »
Madame,

Being as matronly as you are I will indulge this interruption in our discussion as an inadvertent  faux pas. Had you been younger, a general castigation would have been in order.

Had you read the dialogue of our complete discourse, you would see that Doctor Beaver is staying at the main house of my estate here in Texas. After a complete beach of gentlemanly conduct - drinking tequila with the help, of all things - he passed out at the back garden entrance. I was awoken by Butler at 1:30 AM and asked if we should bring the reprobate into the coal cellar. I decided against this as it would involve waking more of my staff and went myself, grabbed the tarp over the compose heap and put it over the recumbent form of the Beaver. 'Let him suffer the consequences of his actions' were my thoughts. I did want him to survive so that he might have the opportunity to repent of his ways in the future.

Speaking of the future, I am sure we would appreciate a personal message before just jumping into the discussion between two individuals uninvited. Thank you for your future thoughtfulness.



You've been watching too much Sesame Street and have got delusional. In any case, there is no such thing as an estate in Texas. There were proper estates in England when Texas was still home to the primordial sludge (nothing much changes).

What actually is Texas famous for? Oil, absurdly large hats, and unnatural practices with cattle! Oh, and didn't Texas steal George Dubya from Connecticut? That was a really good move.  ::)

(by the way, is it common knowledge in the U.S. that your illustrious president was once a cheerleader?)
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #30 on: 28/02/2008 00:36:44 »
Yes, we are aware of the shortcomings of W., who was born in Heartford, CT. - he is a thorn in our side but he is an immigrant to Texas.

We cannot be held responsible for foreigners. They invade and devour like locust and it is darned hard to get away with killing one no matter how much you want to do so. And hired gunslingers are getting very hard to come by these days.

As for estates, they do exists. They are called "ranches" and "haciendas" here. I made it "estate" as I did not think another person from the UK could understand the grandeur of the ranches here. Below is the small estate across the pond from mine - it pales in comparison to mine, an old 17th century Spanish mission I have restored to its original grandeur.




As for the unnatural practices, what about the English shepherds? They are also well know for the reason they wear gum boots. It isn't for the mud, that is for sure.

The Home of NASA, the worlds leading cancer research hospital, The home of the first by-pass heart surgery, and so much and you call it a place of primordial sludge? I think not.

And what about your African upbringing? Do I hold that against you. No, you are a guest in my home. And this is the way I am repaid my kindness - dispersions and innuendo. Primordial mud, herumph.

For shame, Sir. For shame.

Take more anti-psychotics. You need them, especially now that you are over the hill.

AND NO MORE TEQUILA!

 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #31 on: 28/02/2008 08:11:27 »
Quote
it pales in comparison to mine, an old 17th century Spanish mission I have restored to its original grandeur.



17th century? Modern dross! You should see my ancestral home. The land encompassed most of what is now North Essex & Cambridgeshire and parts of Hertfordshire. Stansted airport is built on the land.

http://www.mountfitchetcastle.com/

New entry:

Newcomer, usurper, NORMAN! - I am of Welch ancestry. JimBob (Ah, the privilege of rank)
« Last Edit: 28/02/2008 22:51:05 by JimBob »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #32 on: 28/02/2008 11:00:04 »
oh my head! my computer fan is far too loud and I seem to have a Hindu statue in the hall. What a night. Are you too still at Stansted airport. Thumb a lift home Doc and JimBob, pretend to be a member of greenpeace, that way they will let you climb onto the back of a plane back to Texas and grand chaparral [V]
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #33 on: 28/02/2008 13:14:29 »
Thumb a lift home Doc...

One has a chauffeuse
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #34 on: 28/02/2008 14:56:27 »
Oh its OK. just found out that my son is drawing the statue for his RE project so I hadn't stolen it from the Indian restaraunt last night. Thank goodness, I was beginning to wonder what else I may have done last night.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #35 on: 28/02/2008 15:59:49 »
I was beginning to wonder what else I may have done last night.

You'll find out if you buy the News Of The World this Sunday
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #36 on: 28/02/2008 17:09:55 »
What is left of the restaurant looks in worse shape than what is left of Kenilworth Castle. I saw ITN, CNN, BBC, and al-Jazeera among the throng. I understand charges are pending.



 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #37 on: 28/02/2008 17:56:27 »
I don't care coz I got my second star! My son showed me how to do my profile too coz he's 13 and knows about these things. Al-Jazeera hey! what did I do to deserve that?
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #38 on: 28/02/2008 19:04:45 »
One must behave well in public - actually in one's whole life - or there will be unexpected consequences. I must admit to indiscretions in the past but I learned from them and became a better human being because of this. To tout ones indiscretion and then not care just shows a lake of breeding.

Perhaps the good doctor and I might be of service in this endeavor. You could be our "Liza Doolittle" project, becoming a modern embodiment of the Greek Pygmalion myth.

But one must wish to change. This is the crux. If you wish to continue as a rowdy east-ender, we are utterly constrained.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #39 on: 28/02/2008 20:16:25 »
Not everyone in England is a cockney. I personally hale from the north originally. I assure you I am normally a lady in everyway but one has to let one's hair down from time to time.
Can't bare 'My Fair Lady.' all those Londoners and the smog. Give me the clean air of the country, riding on the downs and shooting the commoners.   
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #40 on: 28/02/2008 23:54:39 »
....

riding on the downs and shooting the commoners.   


Hear, hear, it is a popular pastime on the border here as well.

I wish I were kidding. There are ranchers who do this. It is appalling. They don't play fair, they use automatic weapons bought illegally from dealers in Mexico and coming originally from Israel and South Africa or even China.

Now as for Doctor Beaver. How shall I put this sir? Your behavior is utterly reprehensible but it should be noted that I also overstepped my bounds by editing your message, above. But a Norman castle? Really sir. The original inhabitants Brittan, we Welsh, do not harbor much resentment but would waylay you in a dark ally anytime. And I am surprised that a wooden hill fort would, in your opinion, be of greater grandeur than a fully restored stone mission building covering over an acre of inside living space sitting on over 10,000 acres of land. It just shows what the newcomer Normans lack in their sense of history and permanence.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #41 on: 29/02/2008 00:14:34 »
10,000 acres? PAH... that's not even a front yard! Our family land was once over 4,000 square miles!

Also, who told you that the Welsh were the original inhabitants of Britain? If you are referring to the Celts, they came hundreds of years after the Beaker People and even they were probably not the originals.

And don't forget that the Normans were actually Vikings. That means we kicked your Celtic butts on numerous occasions and forced you to run away to the coldest, wettest & foggiest parts of Britain!

Your being of Welsh descent would explain your interest in the baggy wellies favoured by shepherds.
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #42 on: 29/02/2008 01:35:48 »
Yeh, but it took another two hundred years for you Viking cast-outs and outlaws to get control of Wales, you inept piece of tripe. Even then it was not until the 15th century things finnaly settled down. Even the Danes aided the British against you mongrels. And you consider yourself the "old guard." What a farce.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #43 on: 29/02/2008 17:39:36 »
Beaker people? Do these have anything to do with Dr Bunsen Honey Dew's assistant from the Muppets?
Being of welsh decent myself we Celts were driven into the hilly regions of Britain where we through rocks at all invaders and generally annoyed people.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #44 on: 29/02/2008 23:19:44 »
Being of welsh decent myself we Celts were driven into the hilly regions of Britain where we through rocks at all invaders and generally annoyed people.

Nothing much has changed, then  :P

And "Welsh decent"? That's an oxymoron!
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #45 on: 29/02/2008 23:51:33 »
An oxymoron such as "Old Guard?"
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #46 on: 01/03/2008 00:15:49 »
Who said I consider myself part of the "Old Guard"? I am English through & through although I have some very distant Norman-Viking blood.

And don't forget that the Celts migrated across Europe from Central Asia so you may well have some Afghan or Uzbek blood somewhere.
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #47 on: 01/03/2008 01:09:49 »
Touting your relationship to the infamous Montfitchet family, who robbed and enslave the peoples they ruled over so harshly that the original Baron's son had to change his name from Gernon to Montfitchet to hide from the court his connection to his father's crimes.

A Norman doesn't seem very English if you are talking about the longevity of a peoples residence in one place.

So what if we have Afghan or Uzbeki origins? At least we had the intelligence to move to a better place than the forests of northern Europe.

And while you Gremanic throw-backs were still wearing caribou (reindeer) hides, the Celts, no matter what our origins, were weaving advanced textiles and making some of the most beautiful gold- and silver-work in all of history. The Classic Hallstatt culture gave rise to the Illyrians, the group of peoples who in waves, settled Greece as first the Dorians and then the Ionians. While you were building long houses and living with your cattle inside them, these aforementioned decedents of the Celts were building the Parthenon, the temples at Delphi, the Temples of the original Olympic Games, etc. and starting scientific thought.

In addition, another Celt, Alexander the Great, conquered the world.

And as for being English, Celts have the older claim.

Please, learn you place, newcomer.

 
« Last Edit: 01/03/2008 04:10:49 by JimBob »
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #48 on: 01/03/2008 04:16:19 »
Beaker people? Do these have anything to do with Dr Bunsen Honey Dew's assistant from the Muppets?
Being of welsh decent myself we Celts were driven into the hilly regions of Britain where we through rocks at all invaders and generally annoyed people.

Isn't it "throw"? See what those Anglo-Saxon-Germanic-Viking snots did to our beautiful language. They can't even sing.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #49 on: 01/03/2008 08:07:49 »
You've just got the hump because you are descended from a bunch of hairy-assed, freckly ginger-mops! And they didn't go anywhere near Greece.

600 B.C.: *600 B.C.: Many Celtic tribes came to Central and Western Europe: the Boyards, the Noricae, the Vindelici and, in the mountains between Hungary and Switzerland, the Helvetians. Two groups of Celts existed in Gaul: those between Garonne and the Pyrenees, and those between Garonne and the Seine: the Arverni, the Haeduers, the Veneti, the Parisii and the Serones. The Allobroges settled in the area around the Rhône and the Maritime Alps. The last to arrive were the Belgae between the Seine and the Rhine, the Bellovaci around Beauvais, and the Remi between Marne and Meuse. Some Belgae settled on the British Islands, near London. The Brigantes lived in the Pennine Chains in England, while the Caledones occupied an area to the north. The Boyards, the Insubrians and the Serones influenced Italy while in western-Spain Celts mingled with Iberians to give rise to Celtiberian tribes.
(from http://www.let.leidenuniv.nl/history/migration/chapter113.html)

The Vikings, on the other hand were in Greece & were prominent in the court of Byzantium. They founded the city of Kiev, and Russia grew from the settlement of a Viking tribe called the Rus.

The Viking trading empire covered the whole of northern Europe, Italy, Greece, much of Turkey and East past the Black Sea, and they even had trading links with the Arab lands.

Vikings were also the first Europeans to venture to the Americas.

It was the Vikings who smegged another Celtic tribe, the Gauls in northern France.

Of course we can sing. Haven't you seen "The Vikings" with Kirk Douglas & Tony Curtis?
« Last Edit: 01/03/2008 18:54:29 by DoctorBeaver »
 

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