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Author Topic: How to deal with the loss of a childs pet  (Read 7737 times)

Offline Make it Lady

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« on: 03/04/2008 20:31:33 »
Found, Parsley, one of my sons two rabbits, dead this morning. She had nodular myxomatosis a year ago and has had a pure immune system ever since. I have nursed this little soul on and off for the last year but I guess she got weaker and weaker after each illness and her heart finally gave out. My son Freddy wanted to see her so I warned him about how she looked and after he inspected her for a while we sealed her up in a cardboard box and off I went to dig a sad little hole in the garden. We then had a little service (humanist) and then Freddy put the soil back over her. I think I dealt with our first death very well and I hope he sleeps OK tonight.

What have other people done wrong or right when dealing with a pet death? I'm only asking as our cat is 19 years old and I think the loss will be much bigger when she goes.
« Last Edit: 03/04/2008 21:56:53 by Make it Lady »


 

Offline Karen W.

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #1 on: 03/04/2008 20:35:19 »
You handled that perfectly.. Its always very hard but better to let them see for them self.. and if they have questions gently choose your words carefully to answer them.. You did just fine! I am sorry for your loss..
 

Offline Karen W.

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #2 on: 03/04/2008 20:39:23 »
Be prepared for the weeks ahead.. watch their behavior he may act up a bit as he realizes the permanence of the loss and what it really means will set in... You may have to remember that it takes a child longer to process the loss, and it will come out in many ways... just be understanding...
 

Offline Seany

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #3 on: 03/04/2008 21:10:38 »
Sorry for the loss!!

Maybe get a replacement kitty so he will get more fond of the kitty??

Sorry, just an idea.. Stupid one too I think
 

Offline Karen W.

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #4 on: 03/04/2008 21:19:05 »
NO But it is a good idea to get the old kitty a companion then when the time comes your family will all be attached to both kitties and it should help with the emotional loss and the new cat can just help to comfort... while being another companion for the older cat!
 

Offline Seany

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #5 on: 03/04/2008 21:20:39 »
Yup.. But I meant a kitten, because it's more fondable!
 

Offline neilep

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #6 on: 03/04/2008 21:23:19 »
I too am sorry for the loss.

I think Seany is on the right track though about a replacement...but maybe a rabbit....depending on the next few days eh ?

How old is the little guy ?

My cat Pepper was 19 when I had to have him put to sleep !!..he was my bestest friend and it was the kindest thing I could ever do for him.

I hope the future bodes well....though it seems you acted just right the way you did.

 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #7 on: 03/04/2008 21:23:29 »
How about "Look on the bright side, kids. You can now use the rabbit hutch as an extra toy box"
 

Offline Seany

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #8 on: 03/04/2008 21:25:45 »
I too am sorry for the loss.

I think Seany is on the right track though about a replacement...but maybe a rabbit....depending on the next few days eh ?

How old is the little guy ?

My cat Pepper was 19 when I had to have him put to sleep !!..he was my bestest friend and it was the kindest thing I could ever do for him.

I hope the future bodes well....though it seems you acted just right the way you did.




Ooops.. I meant to say rabbit too, but I read a cat down there.. Got confuzzled..!
 

Offline Carolyn

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #9 on: 03/04/2008 21:41:30 »
Sorry for the loss of your pet.  I think you handled it just right and agree that another rabbit is a good idea.  Also agree with Karen.  Be prepared for the 'mourning' to last awhile.  He may seem fine one day and upset about it the next.  My daughter is 19 and still gets teary eyed over the loss of past pets....but then she is overly emotional and a tad bit dramatic.

Best of luck to you.
 

Offline Karen W.

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #10 on: 03/04/2008 21:44:36 »
I was thinking cat as the older cat she has had is 19 and will soon be facing a loss with her.. I was thinking of a way to ease the impending loss of the older family friend as well!

The rabbit idea is good!
 

Offline Make it Lady

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #11 on: 03/04/2008 22:00:31 »
Have already got the new kitten and the old cat hates its guts! They just tolerate each other. The kitten gets on much better with the remaining rabbit (broccoli.) I don't want another rabbit as myxomatosis is rife around here. I don't know if broccoli would take to another companion.
 

Offline Karen W.

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #12 on: 03/04/2008 22:03:55 »
Well if he likes the kitten that should be nice just like that.. cats do take some time to get to know each other.. they should warm up eventually!
 

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Offline Seany

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #13 on: 03/04/2008 22:36:05 »
Shrunk
I prefer dogs.. Labradors and retrievers.. I would love to have one of each! One gold one black1! YAYYYYYYYYYY
 

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Offline Seany

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #14 on: 03/04/2008 22:36:13 »
Shrunk
Sorry for the side-tracks.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #15 on: 03/04/2008 22:38:16 »
I only like dogs if they are working dogs. I'm allergic too them anyway.
 

Offline JimBob

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #16 on: 04/04/2008 02:10:54 »
I had two cats for all their lives. One was a long-haired tortoise shell (female - of course) and the other a solid black Burmise-Siamese cross. I got him first - I selected him when he was 5 weeks old. He was sleeping in a closed drawer in a bathroom - Loo - cabinet. He had crawled up behind the drawers to lay on the wash clothes. He was smaller than the palm of my hand and a wonderful, loving   cat. When I got dogs, the female cat would hiss and spit but Eclipse - his name as he was coal black - just went up, sniffed the dog and let her lick him and the lay down with her. He was 19 when he passed from cancer. It was a sad day. I never got another cat - It seems that in the back of my mind is the thought that no cat can rep[lace this special black cat I had.

I do believe that a replacement for an animal is the ideal situation for a child, especially if there is a kitten that will keep your kids very occupied and unable to have much time to reflect on the death of the other cat.

But what you did today was very appropriate, We hide reality from children all of the time. Death is something we see on the telly or in a movie or in a video game. We never get to see the chicken beheaded, gutted, dunked in boiling water or the feathers plucked off. Our meat comes wrapped in plastic and it is never seen hanging by its heels from meat hooks at the butcher's shop. Most of all, we hide the sick away in hospitals to let them die out of site. They are no longer washed and dressed for burial on the kitchen table by the family, but turned over to "professionals." So the murder rate climbs.
 

Offline JnA

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #17 on: 04/04/2008 13:47:32 »
"What have other people done wrong or right when dealing with a pet death?"


when our cat died my daughter was just 2.. she helped me dig the hole and saw my crying "Mummy upset" she kept saying and I kept saying that I was upset and that it was because I was going to miss OP (the cat).
Afterwards I read some stuff about children and dealing with grief and apparently it's important for them to see the real emotions involved in losing a loved one.. and to let them be involved in the process of burial and/or remembrance.

About three weeks later she asked about OP and I gently reminded her that he was dead (no sugar coating) but we can remember him here *pointing to her head* and love him here *pointing to her heart*.. she seemed happy with this and has not asked after him since (about six months)


sounds like you did the right thing.
 

Offline Nobody's Confidant

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #18 on: 04/04/2008 16:40:58 »
Kraner will send you twenty more if you want.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #19 on: 04/04/2008 16:46:19 »
By the time they got to the UK there would probably be 60!
 

Offline Make it Lady

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #20 on: 04/04/2008 16:48:53 »
Broccoli has been coming in the house in the mornings. she eats the kids cereal and sits in the kittens bed. I think she is quite enjoying the extra fuss. She doesn't want to go back in the hutch at night though.
 

Offline Nobody's Confidant

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #21 on: 04/04/2008 17:19:52 »
By the time they got to the UK there would probably be 60!
lol.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #22 on: 04/04/2008 17:51:41 »
If I wanted to breed from Broccoli (a lady rabbit) how would I go about it.
 

Offline JimBob

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #23 on: 04/04/2008 18:06:55 »
By a male rabbit, a larger garden and a LOT cages - stand back, WAY back - and have the butcher come by ever other day for the overflow you catch falling out of the cages into the rabit pit you buil around the cages.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #24 on: 04/04/2008 18:13:27 »
I don't think you took my question seriously. I'm worried they would kill each other rather than mate. Do they have to date, go out for a meal, movies or what? Is there a special way to introduce them?
 

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How to deal with the loss of a childs pet
« Reply #24 on: 04/04/2008 18:13:27 »

 

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