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Author Topic: Donkey, you have been found guilty!  (Read 5951 times)

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« on: 20/05/2008 21:41:42 »
I almost literally rolled on the floor laughing when I read this report on AOL news


A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.
The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state, police said.

Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey would remain behind bars until its owner agreed to pay the men's medical bills.

"Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed," Mr Gomez said, "no matter who they are."

The owner, Mauro Gutierrez, said he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men's bills, estimated at 210.

The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, on the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle.

"All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid," Mr Hernandez said.

Police said it took a half a dozen men to control the enraged animal.

Chiapas police have thrown animals in jail before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March.

In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. His owners were fined 9



Did they put the donkey in cuffs? Did they read it its rights? I bet they had fun fingerprinting it.

And did you note this bit...

Quote
...including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March.

How in the 7 realms of Hell did they get it in the cell!? Can you imagine it...

"Book him, Dano"
"Bog off, mi Capitano. You want him booked, you book him!!"

Or did the bull say "It's a fair cop" and come along quietly?
« Last Edit: 20/05/2008 21:49:08 by DoctorBeaver »


 

Offline JimBob

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #1 on: 21/05/2008 01:57:13 »
And you want to move to the mother country of these people - Spain.

(Where did his reasoning ability go - if it ever existed?)
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #2 on: 21/05/2008 08:14:36 »
The Mexicans have gone mad because they're so close to the homeland of madness - TEXAS!
 

Offline moonfire

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #3 on: 21/05/2008 10:17:23 »
Serious damage in Mexico if the bill were that much....geez!  Very pricey for Southern Mexico. 

Pretty funny article Docie!
 

Offline JimBob

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #4 on: 21/05/2008 19:36:12 »
The Mexicans have gone mad because they're so close to the homeland of madness - TEXAS!

I do believe you are providing a revisionist history again. A history to suit your own ends.

The order of the events were:

Cortez conquers The Aztec Empire

The Spanish infest and rule for many centuries.

During the Napoleonic wars, France is ceded Mexico by Spain. A Bonaparte is placed on the throne of Mexico.

Mexico throws off the yoke of French Rule in 1824

The Mexican Government accepts that there are American citizen in Mexico and begins giving Land Grands and colonization privileges to certain Americans

General Santa Anna resends the Constitution of 1824 and grabs dictatorial powers.

The Texians (as they were then know) say "no way, Jose" and resist.

A year  or so later, in 18 minutes of fighting, Texas forces defeat a 1500 man Mexican Force at the Battle of San Jacinto with a force of less than 800 men, killing hundreds of the Mexican forces, taking most of the rest captive and suffering only 9 total casualties themselves, including some wounded. The next day, General Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón, Dictator of Mexico, was captured and held Prisoner of War. The battle occurred on April 21, 1836, nominally marking the beginning of the Country of Texas, the only independent nation to subsequently join the United States.

The assumption of dictatorial powers by Santa Anna show that the Mexicans were already mad before there was a Texas - due to the consumption of a liqueur made from the agave cactus, known as tequila and stuffing cactus up their bums for psychedelic experiences - this is done with both the peyote and mescal cactus.

This practice, still legal in Mexico, is outlawed in Texas - the Mexicans were crazy to start with.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #5 on: 21/05/2008 23:24:48 »
I think the bull actually said that it was a fair crop!!
 

Offline JimBob

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #6 on: 22/05/2008 03:11:33 »
I think you are correct - Beaver doesn't seem to be functioning on all cylinders these days.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #7 on: 22/05/2008 07:48:57 »
JimBob is proving yet again that Americans are geographically challenged. For your information, Texas has a border with Mexico. Therefore I was entirely accurate with what I said.

A bunch of American mountain men sneaking up on the Mexicans while they were having a siesta and managing to defeat them has no bearing whatsoever on my statement. You really should try to read things properly, keep on the subject, and stop wombling off on your dementia-ridden musings. All you do is show yourself up.
« Last Edit: 22/05/2008 20:36:31 by DoctorBeaver »
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #8 on: 22/05/2008 07:49:44 »
I think you are correct - Beaver doesn't seem to be functioning on all cylinders these days.

I'm in energy saving mode.
 

Offline JimBob

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #9 on: 22/05/2008 14:34:01 »
I think you are correct - Beaver doesn't seem to be functioning on all cylinders these days.

I'm in energy saving mode.

You have been all of your life - lazy, cretinous thingy (whatever you are.)

 

Offline JimBob

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #10 on: 22/05/2008 15:35:00 »
The Donkey is FREE!

Just reported on CNN, the owner has paid the medical bills and the subject donkey was seen grazing in the shade on the video clip from Mexico.

There is some amount of justice here - I don't know where but it must be there some place.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #11 on: 22/05/2008 20:38:15 »
The Donkey is FREE!

Just reported on CNN, the owner has paid the medical bills and the subject donkey was seen grazing in the shade on the video clip from Mexico.


 

Offline JimBob

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #12 on: 23/05/2008 04:06:45 »
Should we send the donkey a basket of oats as a welcome home gift?
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #13 on: 23/05/2008 07:21:51 »
Should we send the donkey a basket of oats as a welcome home gift?

No - anyone who knows about things equine will tell you that oats would make him hyperactive.
 

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #14 on: 24/05/2008 21:27:01 »
Then rye straw infested with ergot should keep him sedated  if he eats enough.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #15 on: 24/05/2008 21:42:21 »
Cooked cereal & pulse flakes is best.
 

Offline RD

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #16 on: 24/05/2008 22:01:30 »
If the beast had committed a capital offence it would bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "hung like a donkey".

 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #17 on: 24/05/2008 22:03:05 »
If the beast had committed a capital offence it would bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "hung like a donkey".



 

Offline JimBob

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #18 on: 25/05/2008 18:06:53 »
If the beast had committed a capital offence it would bring a whole new meaning to the phrase "hung like a donkey".



There is no answer to such bestiality as displayed by this.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #19 on: 26/05/2008 18:22:56 »
I thought bestiality was donkey (or other creature) fiddling. No offence Neil but you know, sheep and that kind of thing.
 

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Donkey, you have been found guilty!
« Reply #19 on: 26/05/2008 18:22:56 »

 

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