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Author Topic: A joke, that's funny!  (Read 2206 times)

paul.fr

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A joke, that's funny!
« on: 25/05/2008 22:28:20 »
I know, is this a first for TNS?
Anyway, a friend sent me this and i thought i would share it here...contributions welcome, but please make them funny.

why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need
to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross
the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets
the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me.......

DR.
PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.

What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by
not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.


OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life,
I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.


GEORGE W.
BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.

The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.


COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.


JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions.
I am not for it now, and will remain against
it.


NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.

I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level.
No little bird gave me any insider
information.


DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.


JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was GAY! Can't you people see the plain truth?!
That's why they call it the 'other side.

Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.

And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless
phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's
as plain and as simple as that.


GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its life long dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace..

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^ * C%
......reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken.


What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


REV.
JEREMIAH WRIGHT:
God DAMN those chickens!


 

Offline Make it Lady

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A joke, that's funny!
« Reply #1 on: 26/05/2008 11:16:11 »
Isaac Newton

He was pushed across the road by another chicken who in return was propelled backwards into a ditch at the side of the road.
(Newton's third chicken joke law!)
 

blakestyger

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A joke, that's funny!
« Reply #2 on: 26/05/2008 13:28:04 »
Nothing to do with chickens but what Hillary said to Bill when he got to the White House for the first time - and probably why he started to go astray:
"No more bush"
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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A joke, that's funny!
« Reply #3 on: 26/05/2008 14:13:31 »
I think that is hilarious! Thank you for giving me my best laugh of the week.

TONY BLAIR - What we need to look at, and I believe this passionately, is not why the chicken crossed the road, but why the road was there in the first place. Tough on roads, tough on the causes of roads.
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

A joke, that's funny!
« Reply #3 on: 26/05/2008 14:13:31 »

 

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