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Author Topic: I am really, really stupid.  (Read 7198 times)

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« on: 05/06/2008 22:57:34 »
I've come to that conclusion after my antics of earlier today.

We went to the stables to get Pops in from the field & give him a brush down. He was out with 5 other horses (2 are 17hh+ and another is 16hh+). As we approached we could see that the horses were all a bit jittery. Sandra was nervous about going into the field with them. Me? I just marched straight in. It was interesting.

2 of them decided to get a bit bitey-kickey with each other and that set the others off. Sandra scrambled back under the electric fence like a fox that's spotted the hounds. Me? I sat down in the middle of the field.

When the bruhaha had settled down I went towards Pops with the head collar & lead rope. Lizzie, the 16hh+ mare, chose that moment to come over with her ears back & turn her back on me ready to kick. Any sensible person would have beat a hasty retreat. Me? I poked her in the bum & told her to behave.

There were a few more little incidents that most people would have stayed well away from (like when they all started milling around at the trot). Me? In the middle of it trying to persuade them all to quieten down.

I tried 2 or 3 times to get Pops' head collar on, but he was having none of it as he was so jittery. Eventually I threw it over the fence and draped the lead rope round my neck. I managed to get close enough to him, while chasing the other nags away, to stroke his nose & he calmed down a wee bit. Then I got really sneaky. I started stroking his neck and after a couple of minutes I surreptitiously got the end of the lead rope and draped it over his neck. I grabbed both ends of it a bit smartish and Pops' body language seemed to say "Gawd, you well mugged me there".

Getting him out of the field without letting the others escape was a bit dodgy and Pops tried to bolt as soon as he was out; but when a horse is under my control he stays that way like it or not, and all ended well. We got him back to the stable block and gave him a good grooming. He's a little softie really.

So, sorry to upset you JimBob - the beaver is still in 1 piece. No broken bones for me, laddie!
« Last Edit: 05/06/2008 23:00:21 by DoctorBeaver »


 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #1 on: 06/06/2008 01:18:49 »
Contrary to popular belief, I am not so evil or mean-spirited as to wish you ill. However, having a compatriot with which to commiserate would be welcome - two old geezers sitting around comparing aches, pains, scars, broken bones, old flames when those things still mattered, making rude noises as the good looking birds pass by - ah, the life!

Glad you made it out before they had to call the farrier to remove a horse shoe from your skull.

(for some reason my left arm is getting tired.)
« Last Edit: 06/06/2008 01:21:18 by JimBob »
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #2 on: 06/06/2008 01:54:03 »
Tell Pops and Lizzie you've got the number of the glue-factory on speed-dial, that should improve their behaviour  :)
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #3 on: 06/06/2008 08:01:18 »
Tell Pops and Lizzie you've got the number of the glue-factory on speed-dial, that should improve their behaviour  :)

 [:(!]
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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« Reply #4 on: 06/06/2008 08:56:10 »
ROFLMAO
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #5 on: 06/06/2008 13:50:22 »
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #6 on: 06/06/2008 19:20:31 »
You only call the rendering works if the horses are so sick the French will not eat them.

Please, show a little respect, these horses are part of the family. Besides, if you call the rendering works, how will Make It Lady save her marriage?
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #7 on: 06/06/2008 19:49:38 »
Besides, if you call the rendering works, how will Make It Lady save her marriage?

She wouldn't need to. She'd be gone to the renderi - no, I can't say that.
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #8 on: 06/06/2008 21:20:05 »
You only call the rendering works if the horses are so sick the French will not eat them.

In the UK the "rendering works" is the "knackers yard": this is the origin of the slang term "knackered", (exhausted).

"Knackers" is also one of the terms for male gonads, in UK rhyming slang "Jacobs (cream crackers)".

         http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knacker                  http://www.jacobs.co.uk/ 

So if you're in the UK and you hear someone say "kick him in the Jacobs" you'll know what's coming  :)
« Last Edit: 06/06/2008 21:27:55 by RD »
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #9 on: 06/06/2008 22:51:59 »
To finish it off, you could say "Moby (Dick - kick) him in the Jacobs"
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #10 on: 07/06/2008 02:27:30 »
If the sociopath is from the old school, it would be "kick in the cobblers", (cobblers awls - balls). 
Violence is more likely if too many "Britenys" have been consumed, (Briteny Spears - Beers).

(We should write a phrase book for visitors to Britain, Dr. B).
« Last Edit: 07/06/2008 02:29:47 by RD »
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #11 on: 07/06/2008 03:02:38 »
Not a bad idea as you no longer speak the Queen's English.
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #12 on: 07/06/2008 03:40:43 »
Not a bad idea as you no longer speak the Queen's English.

Yes we do ...

ER: "have ones 'orse knackered and feed it to ones corgis"   [:o)]

ER: "that corgi needs to be castrated: orf with his Jacobs"   [:o)]

[There goes my chance of a knighthood]
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #13 on: 07/06/2008 18:41:58 »

ER: "that corgi needs to be castrated: orf with his Jacobs"   [:o)]


I can just imagine Her Maj saying that!
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #14 on: 07/06/2008 20:49:12 »
Please see remarks and scowel, previously posted messeage of this date at:

http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=14925.msg177685#msg177685
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #15 on: 10/06/2008 22:46:34 »
ROFLMAO

Is this some kind of sexual act with Rolf Harris. "Can you tell what it is yet?"
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #16 on: 13/06/2008 06:19:17 »
ROFLMAO

Is this some kind of sexual act with Rolf Harris.

What a horrible thought
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #17 on: 13/06/2008 07:28:17 »
ROFLMAO

Is this some kind of sexual act with Rolf Harris. "Can you tell what it is yet?"

If it is, a didgeridoo and a Stylophone must be included :) .

http://www.vectisdirect.co.uk/dubreq_-_stylophone_rolf_harris_boxed_1970s.html?category_id=619
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #18 on: 14/06/2008 05:58:37 »
ROFLMAO

Is this some kind of sexual act with Rolf Harris. "Can you tell what it is yet?"

If it is, a didgeridoo and a Stylophone must be included :) .

The mind boggles
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #19 on: 14/06/2008 15:24:54 »
Having been to Amsterdam, I did take in the show. Quite extraordinary, especially the role the giraffe played in the act(s).
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #20 on: 15/06/2008 22:37:10 »
Poor little, sorry big fella, passed away in the night (Animal Hospital.)
 

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« Reply #21 on: 16/06/2008 03:14:46 »
I am so sad!
 

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