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Author Topic: Is willful flatulence really assault?  (Read 18823 times)

blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« on: 11/07/2008 14:24:45 »
I remember hearing, years ago, about an American policeman who stood right next to somebody in custody, released a fearsome trouser cough and said "Check that out".

Litigious to the last, the detained person filed a complaint; a case was prosecuted and the officer found guilty of - ASSAULT!  [:0]

This is true. However, as in these days the worst you can do to somebody is to offend them, the question is - Could it happen here?  :-\


 

paul.fr

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #1 on: 11/07/2008 14:52:49 »
The forum has it's own old farts, i wonder what they think?

Jim, Eth, over to you.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #2 on: 11/07/2008 18:36:08 »
The forum has it's own old farts, i wonder what they think?

Jim, Eth, over to you.

Damned whippersnapper. Have some respect!
 

Offline Karen W.

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #3 on: 11/07/2008 18:58:43 »
I don't know but I say ask Neil, He loves them.....and you love them too... you know you do! LOL LOL LOL
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #4 on: 11/07/2008 21:03:44 »
If you follow this logic, you could get arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon if you have IBS.
 

Offline neilep

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #5 on: 11/07/2008 22:05:07 »
It's lewd, it's rude,
It's awfully crude
Especially fun when
You're in the mood
Brings a laugh when
You're in the nude
Flapajack flapajack
Spray spray spray
Soft or silent
Blasted any way
Fart, guff, windypop
Never to be done
In a crowded shop

Blow off, blow off,
Fart fart fart
Rubacheek, rubacheek
It's an art art art
Underneath the bed sheets
Bubbles in the bath
Open up the window
Cuts oxygen by half

Rubbery cheeks and
Stained underwear
There's a fart around
Better beware !



Quality...it's a classic !!
 

Offline RD

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #6 on: 12/07/2008 02:32:16 »
If IBS is a dangerous weapon, then Daisy here is potentially a suicide bomber  :)



Quote
Scientists have strapped plastic tanks to the backs of cows in order to collect their belches and study their methane levels. The scientists say that as much as 30% of Argentina's greenhouse gases could come from cows, and hope this study will find a way to cut down on emissions by changing the diet and lifestyle of the animals. The grass that cows eat is hard to digest and broken down by bacteria in the animal's four stomachs. With no oxygen, the bacteria turn into methane. Most gas comes from the front, not rear, ends of the cows.(phew!!!) The average dairy cow in the UK belches out about 100 to 200 litres of methane each day. Pardon you.
http://ayrshiregeog.blogspot.com/
« Last Edit: 12/07/2008 02:57:51 by RD »
 

Offline Karen W.

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #7 on: 12/07/2008 07:53:48 »
It's lewd, it's rude,
It's awfully crude
Especially fun when
You're in the mood
Brings a laugh when
You're in the nude
Flapajack flapajack
Spray spray spray
Soft or silent
Blasted any way
Fart, guff, windypop
Never to be done
In a crowded shop

Blow off, blow off,
Fart fart fart
Rubacheek, rubacheek
It's an art art art
Underneath the bed sheets
Bubbles in the bath
Open up the window
Cuts oxygen by half

Rubbery cheeks and
Stained underwear
There's a fart around
Better beware !



Quality...it's a classic !!

It is a classic and makes me laugh every time I read it! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! What did I say ask Neil!! LOL...
 

blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #8 on: 12/07/2008 11:43:21 »
Whilst it's heartening to know that farts have lost none of their comedic value over the years, this was originally posted as a bony fido enquiry - so, do you think this could ever come to our courts?
 

Offline neilep

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #9 on: 12/07/2008 12:55:54 »
Whilst it's heartening to know that farts have lost none of their comedic value over the years, this was originally posted as a bony fido enquiry - so, do you think this could ever come to our courts?

You're right...back to the topic in hand.

can one really litigate against a natural body function ?...well.....circumstances have to dictate this..Clearly in America you can.....and if someone was aggressive enough and found a good enough lawyer then I can see it ' possibly ' happening.........though, I would hope it would be thrown out of court...

...But...say the aroma was so overwhelming that the ' victim ' hurt themselves whilst escaping the offending scent.....??.....hmmmm !!.....They would have to prove intent too !!
 

Offline Karen W.

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #10 on: 12/07/2008 14:19:45 »
I took this from a thread somewhere but they did quote the act: LOL I thought seriously could not happen but seems I am wrong!


You could possibly be charged with a Section 4a Public Order offence, 'intention to cause harrassment, alarm or distress'; or even be charge with assault.

Both are summary offences and carry a maximum sentence of six months imprisonment.

That said, it seems very unlikely that the police or indeed the CPS, would process an offence of this nature via the courts, unless your accuser was to claim that the act was a Hate Crime.


Source(s):
Public Order Act 1986
Criminal Justice Act 1988
 

blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #11 on: 12/07/2008 18:21:40 »
Natural body function - interesting - like aggression, for instance. I know that's a state of mind but it depends whether you regard the mind and body as separate or not. Anyhow, the flatulence was used as a weapon, so to speak, certainly in an aggressive way - and the intention was there; the intention to cause discomfort certainly. I think this could easily happen here given the emphasis on the rights of the individual, criminal or otherwise.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #12 on: 12/07/2008 18:40:02 »
 

blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #13 on: 12/07/2008 18:53:20 »
I don't know where you get them from - very funny though.
 

Offline neilep

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #14 on: 12/07/2008 19:34:52 »
I had this feeling as I wrote that, that you may pick up on what definition you may apply to ' natural body function'....you are referring to farting and so am I !

 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #15 on: 12/07/2008 20:38:37 »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #16 on: 15/07/2008 22:07:32 »
Mr Methane goes around the country performing his flatulent stage act. He has learnt to draw air into his backside and let it out at will.

So would his audience all be able to take him to court for farting in an aggressive way?
 

Offline RD

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #17 on: 15/07/2008 22:39:37 »
Mr Methane goes around the country performing his flatulent stage act.

Mr Methane's predecessor Le Pétomane could play tunes and do animal impersonations...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane
« Last Edit: 15/07/2008 22:45:40 by RD »
 

blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #18 on: 15/07/2008 22:46:23 »
So would his audience all be able to take him to court for farting in an aggressive way?

They might try but his defense would be that he was farting in an entertaining way and that they knew that when they bought their tickets.

Some lawyer would take it on though - you know what lawyers say: "Win some, lose some - just so long as we get paid for all of them". ;D
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #19 on: 15/07/2008 22:47:43 »
I'm reminded of a business anecdote.

Some years back, GEC merged with Plessey Telecom to form GPT. Unfortunately, in France GPT is pronounced the same as J'ai pété which means "I farted"
 

Offline RD

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #20 on: 15/07/2008 22:54:59 »
Some years back, GEC merged with Plessey Telecom to form GPT.
Unfortunately, in France GPT is pronounced the same as J'ai pété which means "I farted"

A similar thing occurred with the Toyota MR2 in France: MR2 = "merdeux" ...
http://www.toyota-mr2-turbo-performance-parts.com/toyota-mr2.html
« Last Edit: 16/07/2008 03:27:15 by RD »
 

Offline ukmicky

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #21 on: 16/07/2008 18:48:41 »
It would be a hard one to prove,its not like you could collect some as evidence.
 

Offline Bored chemist

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #22 on: 16/07/2008 18:58:12 »
Air sampling for polutants is the easy bit. Proving it was deliberate is a challenge. Come to think of it you would also have to prove who was responsible. I have visions of some lawyers earnestly discussing the idea the "you smelt it; you dealt it".

I heard the the Euro is an unfortunate name for a currency somewhere in Europe. I think it was Greece. Any Greek speakers out there?
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #23 on: 16/07/2008 20:38:50 »
Billy Connoly thought that it would be much funnier that when a person farts, instead of the usual raspberry noise, your bum should say "fart" in your accent, that way everyone would know who dealt it.
 

blakestyger

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
« Reply #24 on: 16/07/2008 21:10:11 »
... that way everyone would know who dealt it.

Everybody usually does know who dealt it!  [^]
 

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Is willful flatulence really assault?
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