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Author Topic: Some humuor talking appliances Barbie the Bumble Bee  (Read 3612 times)

Offline Alan McDougall

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How about this,

All true even Barbie wit a little poetic licence added by me


20/6/2007

1)   Barbie the Bumblebee. One sunny day Barbie flew into a room full of highly educated and learned humans and feeling tired, came to rest on a table in front of these most informed of persons, who where not yet aware of her presence. These most learned and Nobel Prize winning persons were a group of world-renowned physicist's, aerodynamic engineers, biologists, and a large number of scientists. None of these persons had ever seen a bumblebee before and looked with wonder on Babies small plump sleeping form. After examining Barbie's sleeping body very very carefully, they concluded that her wings were much too small and impossibly frail for her to fly, and that she was much much too heavy to fly even if her somewhat small muscles were much much larger,. In addition, her little brain was far too small to control the complicated functions needed for successful flight. Consensus was reached that her wings were a remnant of evolution and were now useless and she was indeed now a crawling insect unable to fly.

Barbie then woke, not knowing that it was impossible for her to fly, seeing all these giant faces looking at her, took of and flew with grace, darting and weaving before them finally doing the impossible ,exiting the window The most learned men gaped and gawked at this completely impossible enigma..

2)   Stanton Powers was broke. One day in 1989, Stanton Powers checked the automatic teller of the County Bank of Santa Cruz in California  and found to his horror that he had just $1.17left in his account. So he went down on his knees in front of the machine and prayed for some improvement.
When he checked his balance his balance again it was now $281.00, so he went back to his prayers with a fervent will. Soon it was $6000.00 and after another hour of fervent prayer, his account reflected an unbelievable credit of $4.4 million. By the time he had withdrawn $2 thousand from a number of machines, the bank cancelled his card.

Powers sued the bank for the rest ‘its mine’ he said. I prayed for it and my prayers were answered. The Bank insisted that Powers had fraudulently altered his account, In order to prove their case the Bank might have to prove the nonexistence of God

3)   1896 Comment on the Bicycle by Baltimore preacher. These bladder-wheeled bicycles are diabolical devices from the evil demon of darkness. They are contrivances to trap the feet of the unwary and skin the nose of the innocent. They are full of guile and deceit. When you think you have tamed and broken in one to ride and feel you have subdued its wild and satanic nature, behold it bucks you off the road and tears a great hole in your pants


4)   Mysterious household appliances Every time Ian Moncrieffe of Bristol boils his electric kettle, he receives mystic messages. Janet Barker’s new cooker speaks to her in Dutch. Office-cleaner Madge Gunn in London gets silly orders from her vacuum cleaner:

"Proceed at once to Tooly Street. Doris Gibbon's eclectic mete is far more polite Hello. It says “This is  Geoffrey come in please"

The electric organ at a church in Bolton regularly interrupts the vicar sermon with relays of the shipping weather forecast.

Godchild of Ipswich cut off his toe when his chainsaw suddenly broke into song.

In Chicago a woman has become accustomed to hearing resonant voice of the local disc jockey coming from her furnace,


 

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