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Author Topic: Tips for American visitors to the UK  (Read 11534 times)

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Tips for American visitors to the UK
« on: 30/07/2008 23:38:42 »
I know you have trouble with the pronounciation of some British place names, so here's a little guide for you.

Leicester - pronounced Lester (not Lie-cester)
Bicester - Bister
Towcester - Toaster
Leominster - Lemster
Edinburgh - Edinburrer (Not Edin-burrow)
Birmingham - Birmingum (not Burr-ming-ham!)
If you are speaking to someone who is wearing a football shirt, England should be pronounced "Ingerland"

And now some general information to help you find your way around.

England is not the capital of France.
Wales is a country, not a cetacean institute. Avoid Wales at all costs as the place names are unpronouncable unless you have a bad case of catarrh.
In the UK a greyhound is a breed of dog, not a means of transport.

And some tips that will help your visit go more smoothly.

Checked trousers are worn only on golf courses, not while shopping in Oxford Street.
Yorkshire should not be referred to as "a quaint little ranch".
We don't care if your portions are bigger. That just proves you're all fat & greedy.
Never ask a Scotsman what a "Glasgae kiss" is.
Ireland is NOT next to Iraq. Countries are not arranged alphabetically.

Finally...

Show a little humility. Remember, many buildings in the UK were erected while Americans were still trying to work out how to start a fire.
« Last Edit: 30/07/2008 23:42:01 by DoctorBeaver »


 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #1 on: 31/07/2008 01:25:50 »
This is why he English are considered "eccentric." 

Compound ellipsoid eccentric with another parabola thrown in for good measure - i.e., tragically and terminally balmy, braking mad, MENTALLY ILL!   
 

Offline that mad man

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« Reply #2 on: 31/07/2008 01:30:21 »
One you missed, wor-cester-shire-sauce.

I love it when they pronounce that one.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #3 on: 31/07/2008 08:06:12 »
One you missed, wor-cester-shire-sauce.

I love it when they pronounce that one.

Indeed I did miss it. My apologies.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #4 on: 31/07/2008 08:06:57 »
This is why he English are considered "eccentric." 

Compound ellipsoid eccentric with another parabola thrown in for good measure - i.e., tragically and terminally balmy, braking mad, MENTALLY ILL!   

Count the errors. Do you need an abacus?
 

Offline rosalind dna

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« Reply #5 on: 31/07/2008 12:56:38 »
Worcestershire sauce can also be called Lea & Perrins as that's the company, who make.

Another Scottish town is Stirling and it's pronounced the same as
the UK's currency =  Stirling

Sterling as in currency also we don't have the Euro yet.
That can only used on mainland Europe.

Do ask a police officer, if you can find one LOL

Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland a country in it's own right.

Cardiff is the capital of Wales both have independent governments.
 

Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #6 on: 31/07/2008 19:15:18 »
There is no such thing as a British accent

(At least, not when speaking English- there might be if we brits are speaking French or whatever)
On a slightly broader scale than visiting the UK;
Please try to remember when discussing democracy that about 95% of the world's population are not American. Also, most people who live in democracies are not American.

Also, you cannot "Do Europe" properly in less than a few years. A couple of days in London, Paris, and Berlin isn't a true introduction to the place, nevermind a full education.
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #7 on: 31/07/2008 19:28:37 »
Some Scottish shopkeepers will ask "do you want a poke ?": this means "do you want a bag" for your purchase.
« Last Edit: 31/07/2008 19:33:31 by RD »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #8 on: 31/07/2008 21:56:21 »
If he asks for a winch, don't say yes. He doesn't want to put a picnic hamper up in a tree house. He wants to kiss you!

I fancy a nice poke though. I recycle them.
 

Offline rosalind dna

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« Reply #9 on: 31/07/2008 22:24:10 »
Also when reading the British English it's the modern version of spelling not the phonetic/old-fashioned version in the US.

South West England are where the most floods happen and it's near to Wales, so take your wellies. LOL
 

Offline turnipsock

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« Reply #10 on: 31/07/2008 22:25:04 »
You can only buy rubbers at stationary shops.

If you have to park on a red line in London, you must put your hazzard warning lights on.



 

Offline RD

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« Reply #11 on: 01/08/2008 02:23:06 »
Here is a picture to remind you of home...




source
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #12 on: 01/08/2008 02:36:19 »
THAT reminds me of tyranny!
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #13 on: 01/08/2008 22:36:30 »
It reminds me of Trinny!
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #14 on: 01/08/2008 23:31:26 »
It reminds me of Trinny!

A man in women's clothes?  ???
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #15 on: 02/08/2008 05:02:31 »
The male version of Trinny looks like a young Ian Ogilvy.



http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/
« Last Edit: 02/08/2008 05:05:55 by RD »
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #16 on: 02/08/2008 07:41:41 »
Number 2 looks like JimBob on a Saturday evening  ;D
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #17 on: 02/08/2008 11:43:28 »
Number 2 (old version of Trinny) reminded me of the Harry Potter author, (sorry JK).
« Last Edit: 02/08/2008 11:45:09 by RD »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #18 on: 02/08/2008 11:50:15 »
WOW thats pretty good one.. better then most of the morphs I have seen!
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #19 on: 02/08/2008 12:35:44 »
WOW thats pretty good one.. better then most of the morphs I have seen!

You may be more impressed by this one...




[If you don't like it feel free to delete this post]
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #20 on: 02/08/2008 12:38:49 »


WOW thats pretty good one.. better then most of the morphs I have seen!

You may be more impressed by this one...




[If you don't like it feel free to delete this post]


lol... LOL.. Thats an old piccy... where did you find it... LOL!
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #21 on: 02/08/2008 12:43:40 »
Oh Know one of my Zeta piccys.. LOL
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #22 on: 02/08/2008 12:49:28 »
I think the first one is scary looks like Mona Lisa, then the second like the girl, Kate Winsolot.. and the last are looking rather manly instead of feminine... HUMMMM  LOL
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #23 on: 02/08/2008 13:20:30 »
"Scary Mona Lisa" is supposed to be in the style of Botticelli, a contemporary of Leonardo da Vinci (who painted the Mona lisa).

"Kate Winslet" is supposed to be in the style of Mucha.

Far right is Afro-Caribbean version. Second right is masculine version.
« Last Edit: 02/08/2008 13:23:20 by RD »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #24 on: 02/08/2008 13:37:39 »
Very cool RD!
 

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« Reply #24 on: 02/08/2008 13:37:39 »

 

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