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Offline Don_1

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« on: 26/08/2008 15:15:18 »
Hello everyone, I am Don (or did you guess that?). I am not a scientist (bet you did guess that, or at least would have come to that conclusion in time), but I have always had a great interest in science.  I found this forum while looking for information on the reported shift of the Earth’s axis during the Indian Ocean earthquake and resulting tsunami and thought I would have to poke my nose in.

Please forgive my sometimes stupid questions and observations. Who knows, one day I might spot something the rest of you miss? It oft times takes a fool to see that which the wise fail to see. I think it’s a case of ‘can’t see the wood for the trees’ or that the wise look for a complex answer to a complex question when the answer so simple that it takes an uneducated eye to see what should be blindingly obvious.

By the way I am the founder of the Tortoise First Forum. If any of you out there have an interest in herpetology (Tortoises in particular, who’d have guessed) you might like to take a look at www.tortoisefirst.com


 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #1 on: 26/08/2008 15:23:49 »
Welcome to the forum!

Cool tortoise!

If you have any questions Please feel free to ask!
 

blakestyger

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« Reply #2 on: 26/08/2008 19:18:39 »
I remember that as a child, when I was made to sit through interminable church services on Sundays, I suddenly jumped awake when the vicar said "something something something that Jesus taught us".

He had a PET?  [:0]
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #3 on: 26/08/2008 19:28:25 »
HUH?
 

Offline rosalind dna

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« Reply #4 on: 26/08/2008 20:45:26 »
I remember that as a child, when I was made to sit through interminable church services on Sundays, I suddenly jumped awake when the vicar said "something something something that Jesus taught us".

He had a PET?  [:0]

Oh did he?
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #5 on: 26/08/2008 21:39:40 »
I just drove Freddy up to stay with his Grandma. 'Where are we now' he asked midway through the journey.
'Datchet Village,' I answered.
Freddy looked out of the car window at the village and replied,'It doesn't look that bad to me!'

Hi Don, my first pet was a tortoise but it ran off. I couldn't believe a tortoise could move so fast. The farmer found it in the field behind us so we had to put lipstick on it's shell so we could find it in long grass. 
 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #6 on: 26/08/2008 21:52:10 »
YAYYYYYYYYYYY !!

Welcome Don !




This site needs someone like ewe to bring a bit of levity. We're all quite staid and prim and proper here !!

Cool Tortoise

CRAP TORTOISE JOKE WARNING !!




Did you hear about the lorry full of tortoises that crashed into a van of terrapins?

It was a turtle disaster.



*le groan*
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #7 on: 26/08/2008 22:14:03 »
That is as bad as the crunchy pies joke!
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #8 on: 26/08/2008 23:51:53 »
And lame as a sheep with Fusobacterium necrophorum and/or Bacteroides nodosus.
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #9 on: 27/08/2008 00:02:15 »
The treatment for the above problems is to "force sheep to move through a 10% zinc sulfate solution daily for 30 days. This has become the most successful treatment scheme."

« Last Edit: 27/08/2008 00:57:45 by neilep »
 

Offline rosalind dna

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« Reply #10 on: 27/08/2008 00:03:50 »
Or a missing beaver on a mission to find TNS again.

 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #11 on: 27/08/2008 00:50:54 »
That is as bad as the crunchy pies joke!

Hmmm..I luff crunchy pies..I also luff soggy pies !

Oh How I wish I dare could fly
To seek afar a crunchy pie
Or soggy dough, I know not why
Well cooked please, else I will die



Quality poemage !! :D

 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #12 on: 27/08/2008 00:54:15 »
And lame as a sheep with Fusobacterium necrophorum and/or Bacteroides nodosus.

Moi ?..a sheepy , a wool with name ?
Bacteria laden ?..oh no, the shame !
I'm feeling drowsy, it is the pain
If I'm cured, will it come again ?



*le poet sheep-eate*
 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #13 on: 27/08/2008 00:57:59 »
The treatment for the above problems is to "force sheep to move through a 10% zinc sulfate solution daily for 30 days. This has become the most successful treatment scheme."




A treatment involving the scheme of a dip
From my top to my tail, and the arse to my lip
If it doth cure, then I shall wet drip
And that is the end of this little quip



*le sigh*
« Last Edit: 27/08/2008 01:03:42 by neilep »
 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #14 on: 27/08/2008 01:01:22 »
Or a missing beaver on a mission to find TNS again.



Yes, where is the Beave
Did he up and go leave ?
Without him let's grieve
He's not up my sleeve !


*poemage de la crappus*

 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #15 on: 27/08/2008 01:05:00 »
HEE HEE HEE..Quality Poemage Young Fellow, Quality indeedy!
 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #16 on: 27/08/2008 01:11:26 »
HEE HEE HEE..Quality Poemage Young Fellow, Quality indeedy!

A poem, a sonnet, a limerick an ode
Written by sheep, not a frog or a toad
And like my bowels , filled with waste by the load
I'll deposit some more on the TNS road !
  ;D





« Last Edit: 27/08/2008 01:40:48 by neilep »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #17 on: 27/08/2008 01:19:28 »
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! LOL I love it! Those are very good!!!You should see the mail I received today.. very weird I think its a scam of sorts.. like I have never seen before.., different!
 

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« Reply #18 on: 27/08/2008 11:31:54 »
HUH?

It's a pun,  Jesus taught us = Jesus' tortoise.  ::)
 

Offline Don_1

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« Reply #19 on: 27/08/2008 14:10:14 »
The treatment for the above problems is to "force sheep to move through a 10% zinc sulfate solution daily for 30 days. This has become the most successful treatment scheme."

Hmmm, Sounds like the stuff I drink at the local boozer!!! [xx(]

Thanks for the welcome folks, I shall try to bring a little levity with me, but I have a backache today (now where have I heard that one before?)

Seems to me you already have the odd few nutty profs here..... 'Jesus taught us' ::)

I have a better solution for your tortoise lost in long grass.... it's called a lawnmower!!!!  ;D ....... Seriously though, plz don't put oils or wax or the like on your torts shell, it can clog the pores, the shell is a living breathing membrane with nerve endings. Of course there is another solution, get a Sulcata, not only big and easy to see, but it will also eat the grass.
 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #20 on: 27/08/2008 14:38:55 »
How about attaching a flag pole atop the shell!...don't staple it...use a rubber band !...or perhaps a GPS locater or a mobile phone !!..ewe could ring it !
...or train your tortoises to send smoke signals or operate flares !

yes..yes....I am sure these will all work and will meet health and safety directives when it comes to lcating missing tortoises !!


hmm..i think the plural should be ' torti '...whajafink ?
 

Offline rosalind dna

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« Reply #21 on: 27/08/2008 15:18:09 »
This might be nice food for the tortoise and a face too LOL

 

Offline Don_1

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« Reply #22 on: 27/08/2008 15:53:03 »
This might be nice food for the tortoise and a face too LOL



Now that's what I call a human cabbage!

Ohhh, leaf it out....

Just as I thought, full of nutty professors here.
 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #23 on: 27/08/2008 17:49:31 »
Now that is one serious allergic reaction to cabbage !  ;D
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #24 on: 27/08/2008 19:54:05 »
HUH?

It's a pun,  Jesus taught us = Jesus' tortoise.  ::)

OOOPS.. I had missed that completely.. Thanks! LOL.. Very good though!
 

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« Reply #24 on: 27/08/2008 19:54:05 »

 

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