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Offline Alan McDougall

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Are you or I an Empath?
« on: 03/10/2008 14:40:16 »
Here are a few indicators of what I think might be the characteristics of an empath

Are you one??


You may be an empath if:
 
    
You can’t bear noises - They go right through you. (Oh!! The unspeakable agony of my wife vacuum cleaning with that demonic machine)
You hate crowds .
You suffer anxiety, but there is no apparent cause
You feel depressed for no apparent reason
You take on the guilt of others and their actions
You are overly sensitive to people and sense if they don't want you around. You tend to avoid such people if you feel you're not wanted.
You often feel ungrounded.
You always are sensitive to how others will feel.
You become very drained in the company of certain people
You are deeply hurt by the smallest criticism.
You can sometimes feel the actual physical pain or illness of another person, even at a distance.
Your mood can change from sad to joy in a brief moment and you do not always know the reason
You become aware when something is wrong with a family member or close friend
You have few real close friends.
You find it hard to forgive because you are somehow aware that the person who hurt you still dislikes you


"Come on guys, do you think you might be an empath?

I know I am an empath and this does not make life easy at times

Take care

Alan






 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #1 on: 03/10/2008 15:36:39 »
Empathy is a survival instinct. There is always safety in numbers so we are hard wired to try and fit in. If this means mirroring peoples body language or even peoples feelings then we are accepted by our social group. If we are accepted then we don't get left on our own. In cavemen times being alone meant being eaten by a preditor.
Some people are more atuned to their caveman selves than others and therefore have a stong survival instinct. Am I an empath? well I guess we all are to some extent.
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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Are you or I an Empath?
« Reply #2 on: 03/10/2008 16:17:50 »
Empaths are emotional sponges

Traits of an Empath

Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they're more inclined to point out another's positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings.

.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and will have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another's ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet! They are like beacons of light.

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding.

Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one--if only for peace of mind.

Alan
 

Offline BenV

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« Reply #3 on: 03/10/2008 17:39:08 »
Personally, I think that everyone shows empathy to one extent or another, and this will vary depending on who they are with and what they are doing.  It seems a little strange to put yourself in a box and say "I am an empathic person".  I'm not sure that pigeonholing people does much good.
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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« Reply #4 on: 04/10/2008 09:31:15 »
BenV

Quote
Personally, I think that everyone shows empathy to one extent or another, and this will vary depending on who they are with and what they are doing.  It seems a little strange to put yourself in a box and say "I am an empathic person".  I'm not sure that pigeonholing people does much good

What about egotistical despotes like Hitler, Stalin,Etc Etc??

Alan
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #5 on: 04/10/2008 15:22:57 »
They had mental disorders associated with too much power and bad childhoods.
 

Offline BenV

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« Reply #6 on: 06/10/2008 12:06:57 »
Alan, what about them?

They all truly believed that they could create a better world for their countrymen.  This doesn't make them good people, but it certainly doesn't suggest they lacked all empathy. 
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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« Reply #7 on: 06/10/2008 15:35:51 »


Quote
They had mental disorders associated with too much power and bad childhoods

Stalin had no empathy for anyone, he even had his own brother murdered. Hitler would look with glee at scenes of despicable horror. Their lack of empathy had nothing to do with poor childhood of mental disease, They were both highly intelligent cunning monsters

I know a lot about mental disorders having been a life long sufferer of bipolar have never met a evil mentally disturbed person , the are gentle weak . lost and helpless Ask Chris if you like.

Ben

Quote
They all truly believed that they could create a better world for their countrymen.  This doesn't make them good people, but it certainly doesn't suggest they lacked all empathy.
 

I do not agree their power hungry egos could never be satisfied , Stalin murdered and inslaves over 30 million of the Russian people

Hitler when he saw defeat comming instructed his generals to destroy the whole remaining German infrastructure. If they has followed this evil command millions more would have died

The Ultimate Empath is the Lord Jesus Christ
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #8 on: 06/10/2008 19:33:08 »
I'm sorry to say this, but some of the posts in this thread display ignorance about empathy on the part of the author.

There most certainly are people who are not the slightest bit empathic. It is 1 of the cornerstone symptoms of sociopathy, and those with ASD have little or, more commonly, no empathy.

Alan - as a psychologist I am very interested in your statement that empaths dislike loud noises. As far as I was aware, empaths will turn off loud noises if someone else is present as they don't want the other person's ears to be hurt. If you have a link to a citation to verify your assertion, I would like to see it. As it is, I can only find reference to that on spiritual sites. Not the best places to look for psychological truths, are they.

Empathy is not always a good thing. Dr. Martin Hoffman, of New York University, points out that some people feel more empathy with those who are similar to themselves. This, in turn, can produce hostility towards others and has even been suggested as a possible basis for racism. Hitler could have been a case in point as he displayed signs of empathy with those who were like him and close to him, and utter contempt & disregard for those who were different.

In extreme cases, empathy can lead to paranoia. Dr. Leslie Brothers, of UCLA, states that some people overempathise and read more into body language & facial expressions than is actually there. They perceive sinister intentions when none are present.

Empathy can cause withdrawal from the world. Again, overempathising can cause some to perpetually feel down and despondent. As a consequence they tend to shut themselves away from the source.

There was a case a few years ago (I'll see if I can find a reference to it) of a man who was charged with assault. The man concerned had a facial tic. A man he was talking to began twitching in a similar manner. The 1st man thought the 2nd man was taking the p**s and lumped him 1. In fact, the 2nd man was empathic and started twitching empathically with the 1st man. He didn't even realise he was doing it.

Finally, can anyone tell me the difference between empathy & mood contagion?  :P
« Last Edit: 06/10/2008 20:15:36 by DoctorBeaver »
 

Offline MrsIstre

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Are you or I an Empath?
« Reply #9 on: 07/10/2008 09:04:55 »
"Hi, I came across this because I wanted to knpw more about empathy. When I read the signs it was like looking in the mirror. Everytime I watch tv, or a movie and I see something sad, i cry, literally, I see something gross like someone getting their throat cut, its like I feel it, I have to leave the room, everyday dayum time. I see something happy, Iget happy, like I get overwelmed with happyness. When someone I am near if hurt or upset, its like I get filled with this sad feeling and it literally takes over my whole body. When Im around certain people its like I feel them talking about me, or them not liking me. I get feelings about people most of the time. How do I control this? and how do I use it to its full advantage? please help"
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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« Reply #10 on: 07/10/2008 10:38:40 »
Doctor Beaver,

Quote
Empathy is not always a good thing. Dr. Martin Hoffman, of New York University, points out that some people feel more empathy with those who are similar to themselves. This, in turn, can produce hostility towards others and has even been suggested as a possible basis for racism. Hitler could have been a case in point as he displayed signs of empathy with those who were like him and close to him, and utter contempt & disregard for those who were different.

In extreme cases, empathy can lead to paranoia. Dr. Leslie Brothers, of UCLA, states that some people overempathise and read more into body language & facial expressions than is actually there. They perceive sinister intentions when none are present.

Empathy can cause withdrawal from the world. Again, overempathising can cause some to perpetually feel down and despondent. As a consequence they tend to shut themselves away from the source.

Your response and deep true incisive knowledge on the subject can only add to the knowledge and wisdom of those reading your post.

Empathy is not always a wonderful attribute to carry around, there is a very close correlation between empathy and depression and I should know this a a bipolar sufferer.

Life is all about reaching a sensible balance of emotions and attributes and not let one facid control us, dont you think Doc?



Take Care

Alan
« Last Edit: 07/10/2008 10:40:55 by Alan McDougall »
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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« Reply #11 on: 07/10/2008 10:46:12 »
Rebacca dear DONT GET CROSS

I saw your post and here is my response


Quote
asked a question above and no one bothered to answer me. SO I will ask this dude.

Can being an Empath be mistaken for a lack of self worth?
   Or Is it possible to truly mirror the worthless feeling of others in your own self when you around them, or in this case constantly attract people like yourself who feel as you do

Yes this can and does happen , but one should try to separate empathy from lack of self worth as they are not the same thing

Take Care

Alan 
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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« Reply #12 on: 07/10/2008 14:01:00 »
These are my pricipals of life, and the question begs can one attribute even one to  entities like Stalin or Hitler?

Principal 1: Non -violence

Principle 2: Kindness.

Principle 3: Humility

Principle 3: Integrity

Principle 4: Selfless Love

Principal 5: Compassion

Principle 4: Originality (Creativity)

Take Care

Alan
 

Offline MrsIstre

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« Reply #13 on: 08/10/2008 09:46:13 »
"I see where you wrote there is a close difference between empathy and depression and for a long time I thought I was just depressed, Ive taken medication, Prozac,up to 3 pills a day, thats 60mgs, When that didnt work I was on Zoloft, then Lexapro. Nothing worked. I have been taking nothing for the past 7 years because nothing has worked, the only time I get any peace is when Im alone, no tv, radio, never been one for crowds. And I was talking to my friend of 21 years on the phone, and she introduced me to another friend from her job and we got on the subject of when me and her went to the movies and I left the room, it was a scarey movie, when I see someone get cut, shot, ect... Its like I feel it for a second, I can literally feel the knife cutting me, and I cant bare it. and I started giving other examples, ect... Well her friend said it sounds like you are an empath! and ever since then I want to learn more which is what brought me here. Is there anyway to control it? Because if I am one, then its too strong, Sometimes I start crying for no reason,soemtimes I get a sick feeling in the pit of my gut, like guilt, but Im not guilty of nothing, im not perfect, but Ive done nothing seriously wrong. I know on some level some of you may think Im a little on the crazy size, but Im seriously not, Im as normal as they come. But I have no idea why these feelings take over my body like this. Dr.s cant figure it out, I cant figure it out, those closes to me cant figure it out, Its just Im at the end of my road here and all signs point to this being it, can I have somebody or anybody's opinion please? Thanx..."
 

paul.fr

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Are you or I an Empath?
« Reply #14 on: 08/10/2008 13:37:15 »
WOW, another lists of lists!
What makes this list anymore than just another list of catch all generalisations? As has already been said, why put yourself in a box with a label on it? Are you just not YOU, with your own little quirks?


The Ultimate Empath is the Lord Jesus Christ

The ultimate empath is a made up character! Oh, go on then, lets pretend he is real and all that. This begs the question, "Was his father an empath?"
How much empathy did god show? According to the New Testament Book of Revelation, god will judge and kill billions of people who reject Him when Jesus returns are these the actions of an empath?



I'm sorry to say this, but some of the posts in this thread display ignorance about empathy on the part of the author.

Doc, could you elaborate?


What about egotistical despotes like Hitler, Stalin,Etc Etc??

Alan

What of them? Do you not think they showed empathy at all? Not even to their wives (in hitlers case) and close friends?
Do you not think hitler might have got peeved when eva did the vaccuming? Do you not think they "You become very drained in the company of certain people" or that they were "deeply hurt by the smallest criticism." or that their "mood could (can) change from sad to joy in a brief moment and you do not always know the reason"
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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« Reply #15 on: 08/10/2008 14:09:52 »
MrsIstre

I can try to help you dear as I have been down the same awful road. Contact me via Personal Message or by my email



Quote
"I see where you wrote there is a close difference between empathy and depression and for a long time I thought I was just depressed, Ive taken medication, Prozac,up to 3 pills a day, thats 60mgs, When that didnt work I was on Zoloft, then Lexapro. Nothing worked. I have been taking nothing for the past 7 years because nothing has worked, the only time I get any peace is when Im alone, no tv, radio, never been one for crowds. And I was talking to my friend of 21 years on the phone, and she introduced me to another friend from her job and we got on the subject of when me and her went to the movies and I left the room, it was a scarey movie, when I see someone get cut, shot, ect... Its like I feel it for a second, I can literally feel the knife cutting me, and I cant bare it. and I started giving other examples, ect... Well her friend said it sounds like you are an empath! and ever since then I want to learn more which is what brought me here. Is there anyway to control it? Because if I am one, then its too strong, Sometimes I start crying for no reason,soemtimes I get a sick feeling in the pit of my gut, like guilt, but Im not guilty of nothing, im not perfect, but Ive done nothing seriously wrong. I know on some level some of you may think Im a little on the crazy size, but Im seriously not, Im as normal as they come. But I have no idea why these feelings take over my body like this. Dr.s cant figure it out, I cant figure it out, those closes to me cant figure it out, Its just Im at the end of my road here and all signs point to this being it, can I have somebody or anybody's opinion please? Thanx..."

God bless you

Alan
 

paul.fr

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« Reply #16 on: 08/10/2008 14:42:13 »
Paul,

Je ne répondrai pas à vos commentaires stupides. J'ai essayé l'ingore facilty, mais qu'unfortualtely ne travaille pas

"With you it is like trying to dialogue with a lamp post"

Translation = "I will not answer your stupid comments...."

need i remind you of this post:

These are my pricipals of life, and the question begs can one attribute even one to  entities like Stalin or Hitler?

Principal 1: Non -violence

Principle 2: Kindness.

Principle 3: Humility

Principle 3: Integrity

Principle 4: Selfless Love

Principal 5: Compassion

Principle 4: Originality (Creativity)

Take Care

Alan


Have you forgotten a few of those? Or do they just apply to people who agree with you?

Also, they happen to be genuine questions.

You may be an empath if:
 
   
1. You can’t bear noises - They go right through you. (Oh!! The unspeakable agony of my wife vacuum cleaning with that demonic machine)
Do you not think this could have applied to hitler?

2.
"You become very drained in the company of certain people"
Do you not think this could have applied to hitler?

3. "You have few real close friends."
Do you not think this could have applied to hitler?

4. According to the New Testament Book of Revelation, god will judge and kill billions of people who reject Him when Jesus returns.
are these the actions of an empath?

 

Offline BenV

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« Reply #17 on: 08/10/2008 16:32:57 »
Out of interest, Alan, can you imagine how Paul is feeling?
 

Offline MrsIstre

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« Reply #18 on: 08/10/2008 23:04:39 »
MrsIstre

I can try to help you dear as I have been down the same awful road. Contact me via Personal Message or by my email


Im not sure how to send you a personal message, Im new to this, but my email is taquilashot23@yahoo.com...
 

Offline Alan McDougall

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« Reply #19 on: 08/10/2008 23:42:30 »
MrsIstre

I have added your email address to my contacts and will contact you as soon as I can

Love

Alan
 

Offline MrsIstre

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« Reply #20 on: 09/10/2008 08:21:29 »
"Okay, I will be waiting and thanx for trying to help. Im not saying this is 100% Empathy, but something is going on, I thought for awhile something was wrong with me. Some kind of chemical imbalance. My emotions change so often, its like an everyday thing. And I dont even know why I feel the way I do. What freaks me out is that I'll be watching TV. and something kinda sad will come on and I start literally crying, then later something happy comes on and I feel overwelmed with happiness. Or even stranger that someone could be talking about somebody else, like for example: someone will  be talking to me about someone who lost a loved one and I almost feel like I lost someone too and I get really sad, sometimes uncontrolably. That example has happened. Most of the time when that happens I have to cut the conversation short because I get so overwelmed. And if I wasent going through this myself, Ide say all you people are crazy for believing this kinda thing, but I cant say that! Is Empathy scientificlly proven? Is there a test one could take to measure how much empathy I have? Ide feel better knowing Im not loosing my mind over here. I feel silly for think I have empathy, but Ide feel even more of a fool if I had it and ignored it. Thanx"
 

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