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Author Topic: Do you Know any science jokes?  (Read 48777 times)

Offline ...lets split up...

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« on: 08/10/2008 13:43:13 »
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar and the one says to the other, "i think i've lost an electron...". The second turned and asked "are you sure?" to which the first replied "yes, i'm positive."



[size=07pt](modified title to be in form of question.. Thanks)[/size]
« Last Edit: 14/10/2008 19:33:15 by Karen W. »


 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #1 on: 08/10/2008 13:45:17 »
Why do computer scientists always confuse Halloween and Christmas?
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #2 on: 08/10/2008 15:29:09 »
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar and the one says to the other, "i think i've lost an electron...". The second turned and asked "are you sure?" to which the first replied "yes, i'm positive."

 

blakestyger

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #3 on: 08/10/2008 19:05:39 »
A spiral galaxy goes into a pub. The landlord says "I can't serve you, your barred".

I apologise if this joke is only available to those with some astronomy.
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #4 on: 09/10/2008 07:54:42 »
OK - perhaps mine is less of a joke and more of a logical puzzle. Think of the dates......
 

Offline RD

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #5 on: 09/10/2008 11:06:32 »
OK - perhaps mine is less of a joke and more of a logical puzzle. Think of the dates......

Digital Integrated Circuits, a.k.a. "chips"  [?]
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #6 on: 09/10/2008 11:33:22 »


Digital Integrated Circuits, a.k.a. "chips"  [?]
Like the old piece of string said, I'm a frayed knot.
 

Offline BenV

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #7 on: 09/10/2008 13:23:55 »
Ah... I see.  Its all about using base 8 or base 10...  I shan't ruin it though, and let others think it through.  For a while, I was staring at the numbers 3110 and 2512 trying to work it out!

Here's a (slightly adult) one for you:

Why are quantum physicists rubbish at making love?
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #8 on: 09/10/2008 13:54:22 »
Hah! Yes indeedy! Well played that man.
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #9 on: 09/10/2008 14:17:01 »

Why are quantum physicists rubbish at making love?

Something to do with the laws of attraction?
 

Offline BenV

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #10 on: 09/10/2008 14:18:51 »
'Fraid not, think uncertainty...
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #11 on: 09/10/2008 14:35:26 »
'Fraid not, think uncertainty...
I was in principle thinking about going that way, but I wasn't sure.....  ;-)
 

blakestyger

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #12 on: 09/10/2008 14:38:19 »
This is beginning to sound like Mornington Crescent. ???
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #13 on: 09/10/2008 15:11:58 »
Because they don't know whether they're coming or going.
 

Offline BenV

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #14 on: 09/10/2008 15:22:41 »
It's due to the Heisenburg uncertainty principle - when they know the position they don't have the momentum, but if they have the momentum they lose the position.
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #15 on: 09/10/2008 15:27:41 »
Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?
 

Offline dentstudent

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #16 on: 09/10/2008 15:28:50 »
It's due to the Heisenburg uncertainty principle - when they know the position they don't have the momentum, but if they have the momentum they lose the position.

Hmmn, does this mean that I'm a quantum physicist all of a sudden?
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #17 on: 09/10/2008 16:00:16 »
This is beginning to sound like Mornington Crescent. ???

 

Offline BenV

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #18 on: 09/10/2008 16:17:39 »
This is beginning to sound like Mornington Crescent. ???
In a sentiment that I'm sure will be echoed here, RIP Humph.  It will be interesting to see who replaces him on ISIHAC.  Did anyone hear 'Chairman Humph' the radio 4 Steven Fry tribute to him?
 

Offline rosalind dna

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #19 on: 09/10/2008 16:36:01 »
This is beginning to sound like Mornington Crescent. ???
In a sentiment that I'm sure will be echoed here, RIP Humph.  It will be interesting to see who replaces him on ISIHAC.  Did anyone hear 'Chairman Humph' the radio 4 Steven Fry tribute to him?

Ben yes I heard the ISIHAC from the start and I heard the Radio
4's Stephen Fry's tribute to Humphrey Lyttleton, he was a talented man and I think that the nearest person to his kind of risque humour might be Stephen Fry.
 

Offline BenV

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #20 on: 09/10/2008 16:54:07 »
I think Steven Fry would be very good at it, but I'm not sure he would want to (he knows more than most that Humph's shoes are big ones to fill).  Jeremy Hardy has also been suggested.

I heard a rumour that they intend to have a series with 'guest' presenters, as they did with "Have I got News for You".
 

Offline Evie

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #21 on: 09/10/2008 17:22:56 »
Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?

Yeah, I did!

He stays up all night pondering the existance of DOG!!  :D
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #22 on: 09/10/2008 17:47:28 »
I think Steven Fry would be very good at it, but I'm not sure he would want to (he knows more than most that Humph's shoes are big ones to fill).  Jeremy Hardy has also been suggested.

I heard a rumour that they intend to have a series with 'guest' presenters, as they did with "Have I got News for You".
I fancy Andy Hamilton......well no, I don't fancy him, but I think he could be a replacement Humph. I doubt Samantha would want to sit on his right hand though!
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #23 on: 09/10/2008 17:52:28 »
When I was teaching some A-level students about sp hybrid orbitals I pointed at the diagram on the board, with my usual teaching gusto, and said "...and so you see this is its s-ness and this is its p-ness."

The lesson was in chaos after that. None of us could stop giggling like girlies.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #24 on: 10/10/2008 05:55:51 »
When I was teaching some A-level students about sp hybrid orbitals I pointed at the diagram on the board, with my usual teaching gusto, and said "...and so you see this is its s-ness and this is its p-ness."

The lesson was in chaos after that. None of us could stop giggling like girlies.

How typical
 

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #24 on: 10/10/2008 05:55:51 »

 

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