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Author Topic: Do you Know any science jokes?  (Read 48778 times)

Offline peppercorn

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #75 on: 23/10/2008 15:30:36 »
The best 'science' joke I've heard to date was aired on an American sitcom (I know I'm as surprised as you!) called "The Big Bang Theory":

-There's a chicken farmer whose neighbour is a theoretical physicist.
One day all his chickens suddenly become very ill.

After trying all conventional means, the farmer asks the physicist for an explanation.

The physicist sits down and scribbles a long set of complex equations and sometime later the farmer asks "Can you explain why they are ill?"

And the physicist says triumphantly, "YES! I have an answer, but..."

The farmer says, "Yes? go on!!"

Physicist: "Well, it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum!"
 

blakestyger

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #76 on: 23/10/2008 19:08:43 »
George Cukor?  :D :D

Suddenly I'm envisioning My Fair Lady in space..."The rain in space stays mainly in the....place?" La la la.

Sorry, you're right, I've been a prat - it's George Lucas. [:I]
 

Offline usererror

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #77 on: 10/11/2008 18:25:36 »
How do you hunt elephants?

Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Professors of mathematics will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.

Computer Scientists hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:
1. Go to Africa
2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately east and west.
4. During each traverse pass:
a) catch each animal seen
b) Compare each animal caught to a known elephant
c) Stop when a match is detected.
Experienced programmers modify Algorithm A by placing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #78 on: 10/11/2008 21:42:49 »
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.

"You just won't believe what happened this evening; in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."

"Oh yes dear, what happened?"

"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."

"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them?"

"I charged one and let the other off."

But if you’d already heard that one then try this for size…

November the 5th has come and gone...
But some of the things still linger.
I held a banger in my hand...
Has anyone seen my finger?!


 

Offline randalf

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #79 on: 10/03/2009 03:47:02 »
Maybe not too sciencey....and inappropriate....and i guess not really even a joke

Your girlfriend is so fat that when she jumps in the air she gets stuck!!
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #80 on: 10/03/2009 05:50:07 »
Hmm.....not a very original one I must say.
We used to put mum in the place of girlfriend.
 

Offline Raghavendra

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #81 on: 16/03/2009 10:31:11 »
what happens to technology after recession????????

   Global Recession!!! ;D
 

Offline Madidus_Scientia

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« Reply #82 on: 16/03/2009 19:14:36 »
I don't get it
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #83 on: 17/03/2009 03:42:06 »
That's not even funny.
 

blakestyger

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Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #84 on: 17/03/2009 10:32:19 »
I thought of this the other day:

A Snowy Owl goes into a bar, "Tonic water, please"
The bar man says "Would you like mice and lemming?"
 

Offline BestScienceJokes

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #85 on: 30/12/2013 14:00:10 »
Hi. I write TONS of math / science / nerdy jokes. One of them was on "The Big Bang Theory," for instance.

Another, a short one liked by Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, is "Fig Newtons: because Newton and apples had a falling out."

 

Offline BestScienceJokes

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #86 on: 30/12/2013 14:07:50 »
Another of mine. A bit more obscure, I'm afraid:

==

11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 walks into a bar.

Bartender sighs. "No offense, but after a certain point, all you repunit primes start to look more or less the same to me."
 

Online jeffreyH

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #87 on: 21/03/2014 03:10:31 »
 Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar? A: An Algorithm
 

Offline Bill S

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #88 on: 21/03/2014 18:32:54 »
IT professional’s wife says:

“Would you go to the shop and get a loaf – Oh, and if they have any eggs, get a dozen.”

Husband returns with 12 loaves.

   
 

Offline David Cooper

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #89 on: 06/04/2014 21:16:59 »
I've just seen one on Twitter, but don't know if it's new:-

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg!
 

Offline Bill S

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #90 on: 11/04/2014 20:11:24 »
What's the world's most dangerous insect?

the hepatitis bee.
 

Online jeffreyH

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Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #91 on: 10/07/2014 21:56:37 »
An electron and a proton meet up one night in the Quantum H Bar. The electron says "You know I really don't know why we're different. How do I know I am an electron and you are a proton and not the other way round? Are you sure you are a proton?" The proton replies "I'm positive".
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

Re: Do you Know any science jokes?
« Reply #91 on: 10/07/2014 21:56:37 »

 

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