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Offline TravisM1217

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« on: 25/02/2005 01:10:10 »
If anyone with a career in chemistry can answer these simple questions, I will let people in on something that has saved me 700-800 dollars. Thank you in advance.

1. Description of career
2. Salary range
3. Advantages/ Disadvantages of the career
4. Job availability
5. Level of education required
6. Special requirements for training (certifications, internships)
7. Areas of industry/ market which employ this career
8. Why should someone chose this career.


"What has science ever done?  Has science ever kissed a girl, won a football game, or gone to the moon?"  Homer J. Simpson


 

jolly

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« Reply #1 on: 24/02/2007 22:54:46 »
o.k noone else will so,
your alarm gos off 6:30. you argue with your wife about the best way to make toast, and as always, she still dosnt understand that the milk should be put in the cup first with the coffee. (dont ask, just try to listen and understand) but she dosn't and always burns the granuals. You then drive to work annoyed about your coffee but happy as today will be the day, you finally find that bloody waterstones book voucher you lost last year (it's only for 2,50 but you want it back).
Then once you arrive at work, you have 'cordial' conversations with your fellow work 'mates' by telling them that, they really did well that last chess match, even though you 'know' he moved that bishop when he thought you wernt looking, but it dosnt matter as you moved your queen 3 moves later and won. You then once in your office, sit round thinking of new ways to waste money. errrmm wait a minute some more thinking then lunch. You have a thinking power lunch with others like yourself. I mean noone else has anything interesting to say, you sit discussing the many issues of the day these include: whatever happened to the likely lads, why you had a cheese sandwich on white and brown bread(best of both), and if the atomic structure of milk in some way helps stabalize your coffee(teas got too much caffine and messes up the maths).
After lunch and a 3 hour power nap. You stroll back to your office, and try to ponder where you left your car keys, not that you want your car keys ofcourse, you just know as decartes said that if you think you know your alive, tomorrow you'll be looking for somthing else but right now its the keys. then you find them, not hard really, you knew where they were all along. but Wait, because then comes the important stuff, which you spent years stuidying for. you tidy your desk, and neatly place back all ur pens and pencils.
Then, sorounded by peace and a clean desk. You ponder why on earth your wife is theatening to leave you. You then see the reality and relax, you see and understand with cristol clarity that women dont get it and never will, because there not men and only men can get it! Then you take out the sudoko and your special pencil, which you got on holiday in scarbourgh. The rubbers nearly gone but its o.k your going back to scarbourgh in a few months.
Then there you are the whole of the universe laid out before you the stars and the many planets spining round and around. you wonder how much would it cost to make a cow fly or a beaver dance. Then you look at your watch and realise that its 5am again. and you throw all your pencils in the air and run to your car and drive home.
You drive fast but its o.k theres noone else on the road and your customized vw beatle will hold true after all you built it(well added a spoiler) dont ask about the flowers its eco-friendly (trees are too unstable). You creep into bed. And pray your wife did iron your tie for tomorrow and you consider what would happen if she hadnt. Then your alarm gos. and you know you lived the whole of the day before apart from that dam power nap you were living and thinking the whole way through it.

not a bad life really I always wanted to be a plummer ( like mario, just somehow stumbled into this stuff). I just never quite made it. Still scarbourgh next month. reminds me to think about that pencil and the crap coffee Im about to drink.
only joking i was really thinking about thinking again but dont worry you dont have to. Besides you'll be a chemist, does milk help my coffee to stablize? In your view. i'm still thinking about that one.

How many scientist does it take to change a light bulb?
9
1 thinks about the bulb are where in the comos the bulb could be.
2. others think about what the bulb might look like if they ever find it.
3. considers the implications of changing the bulb if they ever find it
2.wonder if they really even need to change it.
1. the 9th scientist says come on lads could god even change it.
I say for god sake you work in a cupbourd. Its over ur head.              
« Last Edit: 04/03/2007 21:47:00 by jolly »
 

paul.fr

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« Reply #2 on: 24/02/2007 23:03:23 »
Maybe it's me, but this makes no sense at all.
 

jolly

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« Reply #3 on: 25/02/2007 19:22:53 »
Nor to me, we should think some more.
« Last Edit: 25/02/2007 20:06:45 by jolly »
 

Offline DrN

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« Reply #4 on: 28/02/2007 22:57:34 »
Do chemists learn spelling and grammar? And why wear a tie? Surely it would catch fire on the bunsen burner, from doing all that work!  ;D Especially as you finish your working day at 5am!  :-\ It sounds like a tough life, being a chemist. I couldn't spell at that time of day either.  [|)]
 

Offline DrN

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« Reply #5 on: 28/02/2007 22:58:28 »
Do we get to know what saved you 700-800 dollars now?
 

jolly

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« Reply #6 on: 01/03/2007 00:15:54 »
well as a thinker it often helps to play with your tie, but it must be flat! I dont wear it, I keep it in my pocket, and pull it out when I really need to think. No tie, no thought. (you mad!) The tie is the true sorce of my Insperation. They've got moons on them and everything. Take last thursdays there I was I just realised it would cost 6 million to make a chicken talk spainish. The tie helped me do that.
 

Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #7 on: 01/03/2007 20:28:50 »
"Do chemists learn spelling and grammar? And why wear a tie?"
I did learn spelling and grammar but then I forgot it to make room for all that synthetic organic chemistry. Then I forgot that to make room for beer.
I wear a tie to give me something to wipe my glasses with.
I can't comment on the effectiveness of fiddling with a tie while thinking but, if  you chose to adopt this technique, please be sure to remove it from your pocket before fiddling with it or people will never believe you are thinking about work.
 

jolly

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« Reply #8 on: 04/03/2007 12:36:31 »
I agree, I had a terrible fiddling accident recently, and I havnt seen her or the class since.
 

Offline rosy

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« Reply #9 on: 04/03/2007 15:12:38 »
Should possibly point out incase it's not obvious that Jolly is decidedly not a chemist (from other posts, and his obvious and total ignorance of all things chemical..).

1. Description of career
Depends what you mean by chemist... chemistry graduates do all sorts, as well as actual chemistry there's teaching, management, finance, all the things people with degrees in numerate disciplines branch out into.
Chemists work as chemists both in industry (better pay, less freedom/more focus on the next product) and in academia (less money, more flexibility), I don't actually know the current pay figures but you could look 'em up on university chemistry department job ad pages and the websites of companies that employ chemists such as the pharma giants like GlaxoSmithKline/Pfizer/etc (novel synthses of drug molecules, scaling up synthesis to an industrial scale, running production plants)... also firms like ICI who make lots of different things from fertilisers to printer inks and BP who work on oil and also I think developement of newer less CO2 producing technologies... also many, many smaller firms that do all sorts of things.

2. Salary range
Look it up... I don't know. I'm only doing a PhD (stipend of 12k/annum, net)

3. Advantages/ Disadvantages of the career
If you work as a bench chemist it can be pretty tedious but on the upside figuring out the sort of logic problems presented by structural characterisation is quite fun... industrial jobs can, I believe be reasonably well paid.
As a bench chemist you are of course working with fairly nasty chemicals some of the time... health and safety is generally pretty tight and risks are considered low but  some women decide that they don't want to work in the lab whilst pregnant/breastfeeding which can be a bit tricky...

4. Job availability
Depends what you want to do and where....

5. Level of education required
To work as a chemist in industry or academia, at least in the UK, requires a masters degree (MChem/MSci) and a lot of the more interesting jobs need a PhD too.

6. Special requirements for training (certifications, internships)
Um... getting a chemistry degree is the big one, vacation placements in chemical industry can be a head start in finding a job after university, I think.

7. Areas of industry/ market which employ this career
8. Why should someone chose this career.
See above..
 

paul.fr

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« Reply #10 on: 04/03/2007 18:02:51 »
Should possibly point out incase it's not obvious that Jolly is decidedly not a chemist (from other posts, and his obvious and total ignorance of all things chemical..).


Surely, the lady does jest. I am sure jolly has been to many a chemist.
 

jolly

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« Reply #11 on: 04/03/2007 21:36:29 »
I never said I was a chemist. I want a chemist done an ad and everything. Will go to a chemist soon, need some clean plates and cutlery(sorry thats supermarket) that washing thing-y's stopped working. You know I've never been to a chemist- the ex-tie ironer used to go for me. Are you a chemist rosy? or are you pretending? If you are, what you doing next friday? I know this great little cheese resturant. 


hey travis- she only took a week to get back to you. well hey atleast someone did.
« Last Edit: 04/03/2007 21:38:46 by jolly »
 

Offline rosy

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« Reply #12 on: 05/03/2007 09:26:51 »
No Jolly, indeed you didn't say you were a chemist. Equally, you didn't say you weren't and you responded to a post asking about a career in chemistry with a "day in the life" type post which whilst it's fairly apparent that it has little or no bearing on chemistry might in principle confuse someone.

Oh, and er, yes, I'm a chemist.. or at any rate a student of chemistry.

I took a week to get back because posts with titles like "please help" are usually requests for the sort f "help" that involves some kid trying to avoid doing his or her own homework so I don't very often bother to read them.
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #13 on: 05/03/2007 10:20:32 »
Jolly how long has your wife been gone..? Did she leave you or has something else happened? Are you alright?  Do you need some help? I understand what it is like to cope when everyone leaves you. Do you need someone to talk to?

I understand how hard depression is. I understand the thing about the dishes. Have you got them all cleaned up!. It sounds as if you had some really hard times. Have you talked to anyone about whats happened.
Thank you for your concern about my sadness, I am concerned about yours. If you need help I am sure someone close by could help. Maybe over a good cup of coffee or perhaps an email. remember what you said to me about life being too short for all the sadnes and sorrow. Maybe your right and I need to smile more, maybe you do too. By the way I am not fond of hamsters..LOL You know if you need to talk about all these things why don't you set up a thread in in just chat and lets see how that goes..what do you say, I will have some time tomorrow in the evening ok.. if you would like to talk to a friend... I'll be there to talk after work! Make sure I know which thread ok?
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #14 on: 05/03/2007 16:43:09 »
Jolly if you are not comfortable talking in a thread in chat please feel free to send a message. I will get back to you as soon as I can!
 

Offline neilep

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« Reply #15 on: 05/03/2007 17:25:25 »
If anyone with a career in chemistry can answer these simple questions, I will let people in on something that has saved me 700-800 dollars. Thank you in advance.

1. Description of career
2. Salary range
3. Advantages/ Disadvantages of the career
4. Job availability
5. Level of education required
6. Special requirements for training (certifications, internships)
7. Areas of industry/ market which employ this career
8. Why should someone chose this career.


"What has science ever done?  Has science ever kissed a girl, won a football game, or gone to the moon?"  Homer J. Simpson


I am curious to know the nature of the potential savings possibility !
 

paul.fr

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« Reply #16 on: 05/03/2007 17:30:25 »
I think she/he saved the money by not embarking upon further education.
 

jolly

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« Reply #17 on: 05/03/2007 19:56:46 »
I would love a 'chat' karen but first you must answer me these riddles 3- 1. Why did my wife leave? 2. Why is it so hard to find a mustard yellow hampster? 3. Why dosnt that plate washing thing-y work?   
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #18 on: 06/03/2007 05:03:48 »
1. Because she wasn't happy about seeing you during your "accident" and your genuine love for your (girlfriend.) She took the class(kids) and left.BY the way your Girlfriend isn't crazy, She's probably worried about you!

2.It's hard to find a mustard yellow hamster because the class that painted or dyed it is gone..

3.Probably because the chemist left and she was in charge of the plate washing thingy! You need to load it the right way. and turn it on. It won't work without you.
« Last Edit: 06/03/2007 05:13:01 by Karen W. »
 

jolly

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« Reply #19 on: 04/04/2007 19:20:10 »
O.K people please relax these are jokes, you know, think out the box and all that. I am Not a scientist- I wouldnt lower myself to take the title.lol
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #20 on: 05/04/2007 02:52:42 »
LOL.. Hi Jolly Glad you are posting.. Note taken! LOLThink outside of the box eh!! I am outside of the box and I can't get back in!!! LOL I must get back in cause it is cold outside!! LOL
 

jolly

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« Reply #21 on: 05/04/2007 19:31:37 »
love you lady. your the nuts n all that.xxx
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #22 on: 06/04/2007 15:33:16 »
More like I am just plain NUTS!! LOL
 

jolly

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« Reply #23 on: 28/04/2007 01:38:17 »
No your definately roasted.

Whats happened to rosy? She never replyed to my cheese resturant date idea, I havent scared her off too have I?
Rosy I promise I will never ask you to iron my tie!

I am a progressive man and as a progressive man- I have learnt- to take my tie to my mums house.
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #24 on: 28/04/2007 03:43:50 »
LOL..LOL..Yes I think your right.. past the point of done..
 

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« Reply #24 on: 28/04/2007 03:43:50 »

 

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