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Author Topic: The Psyche, Relationships, Unfaithfulness.  (Read 2760 times)

Offline Titanscape

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The Psyche, Relationships, Unfaithfulness.
« on: 19/03/2005 08:12:02 »
Fellows, I want to look at the issues with regards to unfaithfulness. Why would he or she do it? Why give up a friendship for a moments gratification? Why are some so compelled, weak to some part of themselves that is strong?

Then why would they keep it secret? What does the relationship hold for them afterwards with the spouse? Materials, comforts, pleasures, money, children, satisfactions...? But no more real love. Something has happened involving their whole bodies, minds, wills, emotions and hearts and it's secret. Either they are friends with one or the other. They are then a secretive pretender sort, the spouse doesn't fully know. How can they be loved or truly love the spouse back and be fully known, fully open, true and intimate. They pretend and use the other for money and pleasure don't you think?

Why do they give up so much? Why are they secretive? What's the motive and countermotive? Where is honour and love?

Maybe there is a deception in them, a bondage. They think they must have something. It's lust with a show of affection. They think they're in love.

I want insights...

Titanscape


 

Offline gsmollin

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Re: The Psyche, Relationships, Unfaithfulness.
« Reply #1 on: 20/03/2005 02:20:55 »
There are as many motivations for unfaithfulness as there are people to do it. However, there is a common thread. Those who stray from a relationship are unfulfilled by that relationship in some way. You hear this constantly from the women. The men tend not to talk, but it is fundamentaly the same.

Why be secretive afterwards? Well that's easy. It is very expensive to be truthful about an affair. Marriage involves many other people besides the couple. Family responsibilities can be the reason. Maybe the unfulfilled person decided after the affair that he/she wasn't anymore fulfilled by the affair than by his/her marriage. Now he/she may be appreciating the spouse more rather than less. It would be actually stupid to confess a failed affair, and ruin what could a renewed marital relationship. There are other scenarios, and they are not so far-fetched. I would never counsel a person to confess an affair unless that person wants to end the marriage. The secret is his or her burden, and is one price that must be paid for the unfaithfulness.
 

Offline Titanscape

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Re: The Psyche, Relationships, Unfaithfulness.
« Reply #2 on: 22/03/2005 01:43:10 »
I feel sorry for the man or woman that is cheated, as a matter of justice. And I heard a horror story of a man who cheated once, didn't tell his wife, and both died of aids leaving orphans. Physically it it so foul. It is also a matter of honour. Drs profess and evolutionistic explanation for this. Not accepting the chaos though.

I wouldn't want a wife doing me after another man. I would want to know the real her, and asses if the marriage was my want. I would not want a guilty wife, using me for money, material and pleasure. I exclude my spiritual side in this thread.

A true friend does not have fellowship and union with a rival. If so, she, as it would be in my case, would need a complete turning back, inside her...

As a matter of intimate and then honest friendship, in sexual intimacy with a rival, all is lost in unfaithfulness, only a mix of lies and truths remain and failed friendship. No longer honesty and honour and true friendship.

How about the idea that in friendship initially the couples share all including their temptations and weaknesses...? And immediately contact eachother if given an indecent proposal to create accountancy to eachother, fast and real honesty?

In the case of Jessica Gonzalez it is beyond me as to how she could escape that nightmare, too late now. I suppose don't get married young.

Titanscape
« Last Edit: 22/03/2005 07:35:32 by Titanscape »
 

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Re: The Psyche, Relationships, Unfaithfulness.
« Reply #2 on: 22/03/2005 01:43:10 »

 

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