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Author Topic: Introducing Beavers to Scotland  (Read 3777 times)

Offline Make it Lady

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« on: 15/12/2008 17:44:53 »
Beaver this is Scotland, Scotland this is Beaver.

Now remember, building dams in salmon streams is not allowed as it stops the salmon from swimming upstream to spawn. Things up kilts should not be gnawed. Argyle is not a New Yorkers way of greeting his daughter. It is where you will be living.
« Last Edit: 15/12/2008 17:54:37 by Make it Lady »


 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #1 on: 15/12/2008 17:51:26 »
You silly TOG. Why did you capitalise salmon twice? (FOG)

If salmon can get up waterfalls and rapids, I'm sure a beaver dam wouldn't cause too many problems (unless I top it with razor wire).

I shall NOT be living in Scotland. I am a civilised beaver, not some barbarian!
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #2 on: 15/12/2008 17:55:32 »
I didn't capitalise salmon at all. It is you that has TOG and FOG.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #3 on: 15/12/2008 17:58:18 »
You changed it. It is plain to see that the time of last edit is after I posted.
 

Offline JimBob

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #4 on: 15/12/2008 18:17:18 »
You changed it. It is plain to see that the time of last edit is after I posted.

OH, MY! Grasshopper, you must learn the ways of FOG. As stated by the original FOG you are hereby officially derided by the Fantom Forum Foggers!
 
 

Offline RD

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #5 on: 15/12/2008 20:49:43 »
Will the beavers interbreed with the wild haggis ?

Quote
According to some sources, the wild haggis's left legs are of different length than its right legs, allowing it to run quickly around the steep mountains and hillsides which make up its natural habitat, but only in one direction. It is further claimed that there are two varieties of haggis, one with longer left legs and the other with longer right legs. The former variety can run clockwise around a mountain (as seen from above) while the latter can run anticlockwise. The two varieties coexist peacefully but are unable to interbreed in the wild because in order for the male of one variety to mate with a female of the other, he must turn to face in the same direction as his intended mate, causing him to lose his balance before he can mount her. As a result of this difficulty, differences in leg length among the Haggis population are accentuated
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Haggis
 

Offline rosalind dna

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #6 on: 15/12/2008 21:26:16 »
No Beavers wouldn't mate with a fictional Wild haggis nor would they mate with the contents of Haggis as my photo shows. I bought mine from a local butcher.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burns_supper

 

Offline JimBob

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #7 on: 15/12/2008 21:33:18 »
This last question properly belongs in "Plant Sciences, Zoology & Evolution" (FOG) but I will leave it here for the time being. The previous poster is making fun of a serious discussion.

I suspect that the answer is NO, as the wild haggis would need fall into a pond before the mating could occur. The wild haggis is notoriously elusive and can run faster than fat beavers hampered by their flat tails.
« Last Edit: 19/12/2008 19:15:31 by JimBob »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #8 on: 15/12/2008 21:41:07 »
When you run over them they become flat beavers with fat tails.
 

Offline rosalind dna

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #9 on: 15/12/2008 22:29:01 »
This last question properly belongs in "Plant Sciences, Zoology & Evolution" (FOG) but I will leave it here for the nonce. The previous poster is making fun of a serious discussion.

I suspect that the answer is NO, as the wild haggis would need fall into a pond before the mating could occur. The wild haggis is notoriously elusive and can run faster than fat beavers hampered by their flat tails.


 ??? ::)
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #10 on: 19/12/2008 09:07:18 »
I get the impression that JimBob is unaware of the use of the word "nonce" in the UK.
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #11 on: 19/12/2008 19:10:38 »
This last question properly belongs in "Plant Sciences, Zoology & Evolution" (FOG) but I will leave it here for the time being. The previous poster is making fun of a serious discussion.

I suspect that the answer is NO, as the wild haggis would need fall into a pond before the mating could occur. The wild haggis is notoriously elusive and can run faster than fat beavers hampered by their flat tails.


 ??? ::)
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #12 on: 19/12/2008 19:13:29 »
I get the impression that JimBob is unaware of the use of the word "nonce" in the UK.

Obviously not - I use a dictionary - Webster's to be precise (FOG)

nonce (nons)  n.
                  1.  the immediate occasion or purpose: We'll
                       stay, for the nonce.
             [1150-1200; ME nones, in phrase for the nones, by
             faulty division of for then ones for the once (ME
             then dat. sing. of the THE 1; ones ONCE)]

But I have changed it so as not to call the Beaver a slang term. Even His Lowlifeness deserves better than that. Talk about improper use of the English language! (FOG)
« Last Edit: 19/12/2008 19:17:12 by JimBob »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #13 on: 20/12/2008 12:49:12 »
I thought nonce was originally Australian English as they invented a lot of prison terms.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #14 on: 20/12/2008 18:05:45 »
I thought nonce was originally Australian English as they invented a lot of prison terms.

That may be.
 

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Introducing Beavers to Scotland
« Reply #14 on: 20/12/2008 18:05:45 »

 

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