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Author Topic: Tell me about your favorite christmas or funniest holiday , seasonal memory ?  (Read 15774 times)

Offline dentstudent

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If two ants ran away together, would it be one of these?
 

Offline Karen W.

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Antelope??? Perhaps?
 

Offline dentstudent

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Offline Karen W.

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Quite a pretty one actually! :)
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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When I was a kid, in the early '50

So you were around before the Civil War  :P
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Oh well,

When I was a kid, in the early '50 and the climate was very warm for several years, I had broken my foot late November a couple of days before Thanksgiving. I had a plaster cast up to my knees. Christmas Day was 85 and after presents and all, my brother and I were outside playing with one of them, I forget what, but we started feeding large red ants to an ant lion in the sand by the side of the street we lived on. No pavement then, either. But to get on with it - as we were playing I didn't know it but I had my feet in another ant mound - a meat eating ant that was smaller. The big red ants were big vegetarians. SO I was killing ants with my front end and being eaten by ants on the other end. I was accustomed to being bitten so I didn't pay much attention to it.

Well, about an hour later, just before the Christmas Dinner was ready, I noticed that my tows were turning blue. The ant bites were causing my leg to swell. My mom called the doctor on call and no one would come into the office to take the cast off. So I ate Christmas dinner while sitting on the front porch with my leg in a tub of water soaking the plaster cast off my leg. It was a week to soon but I was glad to get it off. The cotton underneath the plaster and the heat had cause a lot of discomfort.

Most STRANGE Christmas I can remember.


You're lucky I'm not a FOG or I would be having a field day!  :P
 

Offline Don_1

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But you are a FOG, go on FOG away, here's your starter for ten; On my feet, I've got TOES, what have you got?

(FOG)
« Last Edit: 19/12/2008 10:55:43 by Don_1 »
 

Offline RD

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Dreaming of a white supremacist Christmas ?, then this product is for you ...



Quote
Let Your "Light" Shine For Christ This Christmas Season!

Looking for an effective way to express your Christian faith this Christmas season to honor our Lord Jesus?
 Now you can.... with the "Original Christmas Cross" yard decoration.
https://store.afa.net/pc-10000310-11-christmas-cross.aspx


Gasoline not required.
« Last Edit: 19/12/2008 14:36:32 by RD »
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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But you are a FOG, go on FOG away, here's your starter for ten; On my feet, I've got TOES, what have you got?

(FOG)

OK, if you insist:

"When I was a kid, in the early '50 " - should be "50s"
"I had broken my foot late November" - IN late November
"Christmas Day was 85 " - 85 what?
"No pavement then, either." - should have begun with "There was"
"a meat eating ant" - meat-eating
"It was a week to soon..." - too soon
"...the heat had cause a lot of discomfort." - caused

(MULTI-BLOODY-FOG)
 

Offline Don_1

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Strewth, I can't see a damn thing for all this FOG!!!
 

Offline JimBob

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JB - What's an "ant lion"?
Ditto.. Whats an Ant lion???

They are larvae of lace wings.

From Wiki - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant_lion

From http://scienceblogs.com/clock/2006/08/the_mighty_antlion.php

t digs a pit in the send and hides underneath the sand right under the bottom of the pit. When an ant, or some other insect comes by, it falls into the pit and has trouble climbing out of its steep walls again. The ant-lion lunges out of the sand (like a scence from "Tremors") and eats the poor bug.

Now the really cool part: the volume of the pit is bigger when the antlion is hungrier (or so they say at this marvelous website that I highly recommend you browse around). But, hungry or not, the ant-lion digs a bigger pit when the moon is full. Nobody has any idea why that would be so. Here is a photograph of a colony of ant-lions, each with its own little pit: (Below, with ant lion)


But here is the coolest part of all. If you take ant-lions out of the field and put them in little sandboxes in the laboratory and isolate them from any cues about the outside world they will still dig bigger pits roughly every four weeks - they have an internal lunar rhythm.


They have, somewhere in their brains, a lunar clock that tells them to dig larger pits whenever the moon is full even if they cannot see the moon itself (e.g., on a dark cloudy night). If and when somebody figures out how this little brain works, I'll be sure to tell you all on my blog, but you may have to wait years for it - nobody is even thinking about studying it right now.


 

Offline JimBob

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When I was a kid, in the early '50

So you were around before the Civil War  :P

yes

Oh well,

When I was a kid, in the early '50 and the climate was very warm for several years, I had broken my foot late November a couple of days before Thanksgiving. I had a plaster cast up to my knees. Christmas Day was 85 and after presents and all, my brother and I were outside playing with one of them, I forget what, but we started feeding large red ants to an ant lion in the sand by the side of the street we lived on. No pavement then, either. But to get on with it - as we were playing I didn't know it but I had my feet in another ant mound - a meat eating ant that was smaller. The big red ants were big vegetarians. SO I was killing ants with my front end and being eaten by ants on the other end. I was accustomed to being bitten so I didn't pay much attention to it.

Well, about an hour later, just before the Christmas Dinner was ready, I noticed that my tows were turning blue. The ant bites were causing my leg to swell. My mom called the doctor on call and no one would come into the office to take the cast off. So I ate Christmas dinner while sitting on the front porch with my leg in a tub of water soaking the plaster cast off my leg. It was a week to soon but I was glad to get it off. The cotton underneath the plaster and the heat had cause a lot of discomfort.

Most STRANGE Christmas I can remember.


You're lucky I'm not a FOG or I would be having a field day!  :P
But you are a FOG, go on FOG away, here's your starter for ten; On my feet, I've got TOES, what have you got?

(FOG)

OK, if you insist:

"When I was a kid, in the early '50 " - should be "50s"
"I had broken my foot late November" - IN late November
"Christmas Day was 85 " - 85 what?
"No pavement then, either." - should have begun with "There was"
"a meat eating ant" - meat-eating
"It was a week to soon..." - too soon
"...the heat had cause a lot of discomfort." - caused

(MULTI-BLOODY-FOG)

Betrayal ALWAYS comes back to haunt the betrayer.
 

Offline JimBob

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Strewth, I can't see a damn thing for all this FOG!!!

I believe you did originally bring up the subject so quit your bitching.
 

Offline Karen W.

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JB - What's an "ant lion"?
Ditto.. Whats an Ant lion???

They are larvae of lace wings.

From Wiki - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ant_lion

From http://scienceblogs.com/clock/2006/08/the_mighty_antlion.php

t digs a pit in the send and hides underneath the sand right under the bottom of the pit. When an ant, or some other insect comes by, it falls into the pit and has trouble climbing out of its steep walls again. The ant-lion lunges out of the sand (like a scence from "Tremors") and eats the poor bug.

Now the really cool part: the volume of the pit is bigger when the antlion is hungrier (or so they say at this marvelous website that I highly recommend you browse around). But, hungry or not, the ant-lion digs a bigger pit when the moon is full. Nobody has any idea why that would be so. Here is a photograph of a colony of ant-lions, each with its own little pit: (Below, with ant lion)


But here is the coolest part of all. If you take ant-lions out of the field and put them in little sandboxes in the laboratory and isolate them from any cues about the outside world they will still dig bigger pits roughly every four weeks - they have an internal lunar rhythm.


They have, somewhere in their brains, a lunar clock that tells them to dig larger pits whenever the moon is full even if they cannot see the moon itself (e.g., on a dark cloudy night). If and when somebody figures out how this little brain works, I'll be sure to tell you all on my blog, but you may have to wait years for it - nobody is even thinking about studying it right now.




Thanks Stuart and Jimbob!
 

Offline JimBob

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This is an article submitted to a  1999  Louisville Sentinel contest
to find out who had the wildest Christmas  dinners. It won first prize. 


As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.
 
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because
every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor
pantyhose hung sadly empty. 

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell  those things at
Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. 

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse
yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?'
'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the
inflatable doll section. 

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also
substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane
during rush hour. 

Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many
different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box,
could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled
for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale. 

To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination. 

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came
to life. 

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning
hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled   the dangling
pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies
and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went
home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his
house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the
dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and
bark some more. 

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of
the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional
Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What
the hell is that?' she asked.

My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'

'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. 

I kept my mouth shut.

'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.

'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into
the dining room.  But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' 

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no
one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny,
hang on!'

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up t o
me and said, ' Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?'

I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise.
Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized
this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died,
who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a
noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning.

Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell
in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa
ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. 

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the
car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to
decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had
suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her
to perfect health.

I can't wait until next Christmas
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Offline RD

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Jimbob should sue John Sullivan for breach of copright ... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RfyWfvNz9Z0&feature=related
 

Offline Karen W.

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This is an article submitted to a  1999  Louisville Sentinel contest
to find out who had the wildest Christmas  dinners. It won first prize. 


As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill
them.
 
What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because
every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor
pantyhose hung sadly empty. 

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and
went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell  those things at
Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. 

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse
yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do?'
'You're kidding me!' 'Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the
inflatable doll section. 

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also
substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane
during rush hour. 

Finding what I wanted was difficult. 'Love Dolls' come in many
different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box,
could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled
for 'Lovable Louise.' She was at the bottom of the price scale. 

To call Louise a 'doll' took a huge leap of imagination. 

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came
to life. 

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning
hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled   the dangling
pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies
and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went
home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his
house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the
dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and
bark some more. 

We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of
the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional
Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What
the hell is that?' she asked.

My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.'

'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. 

I kept my mouth shut.

'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued.

'Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,' Jay said, to steer her into
the dining room.  But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' 

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no
one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny,
hang on!'

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up t o
me and said, ' Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?'

I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise.
Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized
this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died,
who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a
noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning.

Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell
in a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa
ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. 

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the
car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to
decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had
suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her
to perfect health.

I can't wait until next Christmas



LOL... LOL... LOL ...I love that! Priceless!
 

Offline Karen W.

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Jimbob should sue John Sullivan for breach of copright ... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RfyWfvNz9Z0&feature=related

That was hilarious... YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Thanks for the laughs!!!
 

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