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Author Topic: Do you have STB syndrome?  (Read 120164 times)

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #425 on: 18/02/2009 23:14:52 »
I see the Scots have already started preparing for the return of James II.



It means the English will need to learn to speak Gaelic.

Are you ready for the army, Shazza?
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #426 on: 18/02/2009 23:17:46 »
Will there be raping and pillaging?
 

Offline yor_on

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« Reply #427 on: 19/02/2009 00:19:56 »
If that's what it takes for you to come, then I'm sure Mr JB can arrange something suitable.
We all want you to come by by the way:)

Eh, along...

Come along that meant.

Or was it Hop along?
But I'm pretty sure the last name was Cassidy.
 

Offline dentstudent

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« Reply #428 on: 19/02/2009 09:13:57 »
Just for the record - my hands don't go anywhere near anybody's mouths' unless I am biologically related to them or married to them! Or they deserve it.

Was Dentarthurdent a dentist?
 

Offline Don_1

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« Reply #429 on: 19/02/2009 09:27:13 »
Dentstudent is not a dental student, he is a dent student. He is learning the finer points of putting dents into things such as cars and cans. Look here is some of his latest project work:



He missunderstood the meaning of finding this car's horse power:


Must try harder:


Excelent effort:
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #430 on: 19/02/2009 09:29:07 »
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT HORSE DOING IN/ON THE CAR!?!?!?!?!?
 

Offline dentstudent

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« Reply #431 on: 19/02/2009 09:33:38 »
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT HORSE DOING IN/ON THE CAR!?!?!?!?!?

Looking for change behind the drivers seat? Playing squash?

What was the last thing that went through the drivers head?
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #432 on: 19/02/2009 09:39:22 »
Tut-tut dentstudent, I think you might have gone too far this time.
 

Offline dentstudent

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« Reply #433 on: 19/02/2009 11:31:52 »
Well, whatever, the driver had a 'mare of a day.
 

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« Reply #434 on: 19/02/2009 12:14:34 »
Yes his throat was feeling a little horse.

Hmmm, perhaps I should re-phrase that!!
 

Offline dentstudent

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« Reply #435 on: 19/02/2009 12:19:52 »
"Stick a pony in your pocket...."

Perhaps the driver wanted a real flying horse on his bonnet.....
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #436 on: 19/02/2009 16:47:17 »
Just for the record - my hands don't go anywhere near anybody's mouths' unless I am biologically related to them or married to them! Or they deserve it.

Was Dentarthurdent a dentist?

I thought that dentist were always "down in the mouth" but occasionally "pulled a good one."
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #437 on: 19/02/2009 16:51:33 »
"Stick a pony in your pocket...."

Perhaps the driver wanted a real flying horse on his bonnet.....

A flying horse is called a Pegasus - what ever happened to an educated populous?
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #438 on: 19/02/2009 17:38:45 »
They became a hippapopulous.
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #439 on: 20/02/2009 01:20:51 »
GROOOOOAAAAAAANNNNNNNN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then, I do the same thing.
 

Offline yor_on

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« Reply #440 on: 20/02/2009 15:55:06 »
I feel sad for that horse, although it remind me of Canada somehow?
Don't know why, must be something I took, ah, read?

Ah yes, Toronto was it, ...Was it?

" You can't drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday. "

Then on the other hand...
In Alberta city laws it is stated that
"If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town."

The handgun makes sense, but what do they expect the horse to solve?
That a car can't??

---
Sorry, a sick sick mind is mine.
And that is no floccinaucinihilipilification !!!

One should value what little one has.
That includes quadrupeds.

------------

Apropos strange photos
http://englishrussia.com/?p=1691
« Last Edit: 20/02/2009 16:23:49 by yor_on »
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #441 on: 20/02/2009 19:22:11 »
A horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse!

I thought it night have been a mouse at first. That is, until upon closer examination I discovered the creature to be shod with horse shoes.That is unusual for a mouse. As is the lack of cloven hoofs on the beast.

Does anyone have a mint? My stomach is acting up again.

Can a three towed sloth really grow an algae mat? - The answer is YES!

---------------------

When you cross a donkey with an onion, what do you get?

A piece of A** that make you cry.

 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #442 on: 21/02/2009 01:05:12 »
I love it when you fall back on your assonance.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #443 on: 21/02/2009 01:27:07 »
My son is Skiing in America and met Jonathan Ross. He is on everything, including Murray's holiday. Murray got his Autograph though.
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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« Reply #444 on: 21/02/2009 16:56:06 »
 [:o)] Dellboy rules!
"Stick a pony in your pocket...."

Perhaps the driver wanted a real flying horse on his bonnet.....

Maybe he was horseing around when he got saddled with the extra passenger?
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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« Reply #445 on: 21/02/2009 17:00:01 »
Brings on a whole new meaning to Nagging the driver in the backseat
 

Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #446 on: 21/02/2009 21:13:14 »
Why is the driver in the back seat? Does he have really long legs?
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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« Reply #447 on: 22/02/2009 17:56:34 »
Why is the driver in the back seat? Does he have really long legs?

Nope, the Nag knocked the driver in the back seat, hence nagging the driver
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #448 on: 23/02/2009 00:06:56 »
All this talk of nags seems to remind me of something - hummmmm OH, YES! What I emailed the Beaver.



best of craigslist > washington, DC > Married Woman Needs a Really Smart Doormat
Originally Posted: Tue, 2 Dec 13:46 EST


Married Woman Needs a Really Smart Doormat


Date: 2008-12-02, 1:46PM EST


My wife needs a man.

And not just any man. Oh, no.

She needs a man who is very handsome, very accomplished, highly educated, very articulate, reasonably wealthy, and who is a good listener. Here's the kicker: you must have so little self-esteem that being completely submissive comes to you as naturally as the way a light turns off when somebody hits the switch. And then comes on again when a certain someone changes their mind just a moment later.

Do you like hours and hours of antiquing on beautiful summer days and offering meaningless approval of others' purchases? Hey, good.

Do you like being asked about home decorating selections by someone who has no intention of actually taking your opinions? Very good. You're on a roll.

Do you mind abandoning your friendships and foregoing the chance to make new ones? Hey, excellent!

Would it bother you if long-held plans that you were kinda looking forward to are routinely abandoned without notice? No, of course you wouldn't. Hey - you're really rocking now.

Those pots and pans you were told to remove from the dishwasher - like, you weren't actually planning on putting them somewhere without first consulting someone, were you? Oh, good.

Do you have the ability to nod and utter "um-hmm" at socially appropriate moments for long periods of time without actually asking or saying anything? (You can't try and avoid this by listening to your iPod on long car trips. I've tried this. It does not work. I have two busted pairs of earphones to show for it.)

If all that is true, then certainly you won't mind it if the Redskins game you were looking forward to ALL FREAKING WEEK is switched off in favor of an epidode of HGTV's "My Home is Worth What?" that you're pretty sure you sat through two weeks ago.

If you have all of these qualities and promise to be a decent role model to my children, I'll bankroll you in a comfortable lifestyle at a level to be determined by my wife's yet-to-be-hired lawyer. You'll enjoy a four bedroom suburban colonial with a pretty damn nice kitchen. You'll have your own space in a two-car garage for your car. You'll have a small, yappy little dog with bad breath that is yours to walk on a rhinestone-studded, hot-pink leash - first thing every morning and last thing every evening. And you'll have a one-acre lawn to keep manicured. (Neglect it at your peril, friend.)

After the holidays are gone, so am I. You can reach me by satellite phone. I'll be on the deck of a leaky old bass boat off the coast of Florida drinking a Corona and listening to some Jimmy Buffett and thinking about something other than the balance of my 401(k).

Oh - I almost forgot: there will be no sex. Like, none.

If you're interested, hit me up with an e-mail and we'll get you all fixed up.
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #449 on: 23/02/2009 03:59:26 »
I see that someone (A guest) is actually printing this topic!! :o
Must be a big printer with lots of paper in it :)
 

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« Reply #449 on: 23/02/2009 03:59:26 »

 

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