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Offline Santi2c

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SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« on: 26/04/2005 09:14:39 »
since we are all friends, let's start the sharing!  as all-mighty author of this thread, I allow commenting on people's writing.  I know there are writers out there!


assignment from highschool junior year english class.
this specific assigment was inspired by hemmingway's 1st paragraph in a short piece we read.  rules: only 126 words, 4 sentences, only one 3 syllable word.  describe a place, i guess it was implied in the assignment that you had to "bring it yo life"

   Down below lies the dust of an ignored world of cement and darkness, where the scent of a wash is left only for the walls and the trumpet player to inhale in quick, sweet breaths.  Clothes on the table, damp from a tumble, and the floor, too, cold of water from the same leaky tumble, wait to be dried by time and the wind from a horn’s bell.  Dryers with open doors tease wet heaps and a hum of washers counts down another load to be thrown on the table, joining the trumpet player and sagging under the weight of the resting horn.  Four walls shelter the only light of the basement for a practice session, until lips tire and a door opens, politely, to share.

-SGC

« Last Edit: 17/05/2005 04:40:18 by Santi2c »


 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #1 on: 28/04/2005 15:44:27 »
"Bravo" Reads very nice, maybe you should write a novel

Andrew

Death is natures way of telling us to slow down.
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #2 on: 28/04/2005 15:53:40 »
A poem written a long time ago now

One Verse

The Universe is so small it hangs on a single particle of nothing,
 floating in a soup of emptiness for the duration of never.

People spend life looking for something they already had,
but never find what they have lost, a priceless gift that never will be repaid.

Squandered by everyone yet more expensive than everything
we can ever own.

Having gorged ourselves on the fruits of life, fulfilled its purpose
and passed our offspring the wisdom we have earned,

Participated life as well as death, ant and nation, seed and forest,
Laughed and cried.

We now pursue the ultimate goal, to have an everlasting feast at'God's Table',
as if to extend that which cannot be extended.
Thank you for your time.


Andrew K Fletcher
« Last Edit: 28/04/2005 15:56:59 by Andrew K Fletcher »
 

Offline neilep

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #3 on: 28/04/2005 22:08:11 »
FART

It's lewd, it's rude, it's awfully crude
Especially fun when you're in the mood
Brings a laugh when you're in the nude
Flapajack flapajack spray spray spray
Soft or silent blasted any way
Fart, guff, windypop
Never to be done in a crowded shop

Blow off, blow off, fart fart fart
Rubacheek, rubacheek it's an art art art
Underneath the bed sheets
Bubbles in the bath
Open up the window
Cuts oxygen by half

Rubbery cheeks and stained underwear
There's a fart around
Better beware !
    :D


Neil 1984

Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #4 on: 28/04/2005 22:36:22 »
Too much roughage Neil? Have to admit it made me smile though :)

"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
K.I.S. "Keep it simple!"
 

Offline Santi2c

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #5 on: 28/04/2005 22:38:31 »
haha, just the thought of you having written that in 1984, and thinking of all the people it's annoyed on the way.  well done.
« Last Edit: 28/04/2005 22:39:37 by Santi2c »
 

Offline neilep

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #6 on: 28/04/2005 22:44:45 »
How sad am I to have kept it all these years though ?..thanks indeed for your kind words Andrew and Santi2c, both of yours are 'real writing', really good stuff...thanks.

I'll post some serious non anal related stuff later..

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Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #7 on: 01/05/2005 09:50:22 »
Autumn leaves falling
Dance upon a breeze
Kaleidoscope of colour
Sleep cascading trees


"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
K.I.S. "Keep it simple!"
« Last Edit: 01/05/2005 09:58:40 by Andrew K Fletcher »
 

Offline Santi2c

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #8 on: 01/05/2005 23:38:59 »
The cemetery under the sun
sweet corpses
germinating
in warm coffins
so peacefully
in the summer afternoon.

-Alfredo Gomez

Say what you will, but I love this poem.  It makes me laugh or smile everytime.  My dad wrote (long time ago) so I might be a little biased.  It's just so simple and honest but against the common romantic view of death and cemeteries, but it's written warmly and respectfully.
 

Offline neilep

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #9 on: 02/05/2005 01:41:25 »
REAR

Shed a tear for my rear
It's sitting on your plate
A comfy place filling useful space
"Yum yum beef rump I ate"

Little Billy only four
"Yum yum Beef Rump from freezer door"
Sits comfy in his chair so high
To feed his tum Beef Rump must die

Today young Billy decides no more
"No want Beef Rump from freezer door"
Already cooked and garnished on plate
Billy decided, just too late


By the way...Im not a vegetarian.

Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #10 on: 02/05/2005 20:01:39 »

And if a bullock could talk
as well as frollock and walk
you would hear life is not bliss
Or does my bum look big in this


"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
K.I.S. "Keep it simple!"
 

Offline Exodus

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #11 on: 03/05/2005 21:21:03 »
Long and thin goes too far in,
It does not please the ladies...
Short and thick, it does the trick,
THATS what makes the babies...
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #12 on: 24/05/2005 20:12:50 »
One day a cloud passed by
Amid a deep blue sky
Unaware and grand
Casting shadow over sand
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #13 on: 24/05/2005 23:33:26 »

If dogs could sing & cats could dance,
I'd send my budgie off to France,
Where he could learn geography,
And still be home in time for tea

[:o)]
 

Offline Santi2c

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #14 on: 25/05/2005 00:17:16 »
"Circular Square"
round and round
and not and not
and not again

-SGC, GB
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #15 on: 07/06/2005 19:09:58 »
One day after we fell and learned to cope with living hell
We will again some day walk tall in answer to some research call
Until that day we must not falter, ‘til this great journey starts to alter
Shall it be some magic potion that someday sets our limbs in motion
Could it be some surgeon’s skill or priest of cloth my pain does kill
And If I should die before I waken, and in God’s court my soul hath taken
I will stand before my maker. Saying: I’m a giver, not a taker”!
But ‘til that day that we must all face, should we now join the research race.
Then raise a glass and toast a cry. “There but for the grace of God Go I” !
By Andrew K Fletcher  22nd June 03
 
« Last Edit: 07/06/2005 19:10:54 by Andrew K Fletcher »
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #16 on: 07/06/2005 19:56:16 »
When roads turn into rivers and people fall and die.
When the only growth is concrete, reaching for the sky.
Desert winds blowing, fan the mighty flame.
Forest but a memory, don't even have a name.
Seagulls feeding inland, dive upon the tips.
Pipelines belch out sewage, exposing telltale slicks
Ocean levels rising, stink of rotten fish,
No longer do they live here, or end up in our dish.
Now the oil stops flowing, and gushing from the floor,
And water is the reason for which we go to war.
Tankers held at ransom, await the highest prices,
Now the tides have turned and water is the crisis.

By Andrew K Fletcher
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #17 on: 02/10/2005 19:06:03 »
A Quote made yesterday.

It might be acceptable to have a drink, but never acceptable to let the drink have you.

Thinking about sending it to AA

"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
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Offline NLJB

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #18 on: 03/10/2005 02:16:19 »
Barefoot

Not afraid of nails or glass as we step, tread, walk, step, trip over the knots formed by tree trunks and on the dusty topsoil of the land that we live with, on, and in. We pass disfigured logs and twisted threads, smells we ignore, we are deaf, blind, and dumb, we wouldn’t if we had ability. We are not brave, loyal, or triumphant, we are weavers, hunters, and storytellers. Emotion cannot be seen in our hollow eyes, tears are dried up inside of our wooden faces, we have never sought shade, the tree’s canopy’s over our heads follows and provides. We belong to the scenery. Are we barefoot or exposed?


-"science |?s??ns| noun the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment"- the dictionary
 

Offline NLJB

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #19 on: 03/10/2005 02:19:26 »
She is banging on the door to salvation,
She wants the hope and the cure for her ruined life.
She sees no beauty any more,
There is no future for her.
She lies in her coffin waiting for death's icy breath to breath and freeze her warm fleshy body.
She sees the wonders of life, but never can experience or appreciate them.
She is lost in her own depression,
In her own world that is filled with hate and greed and a vicious hunger,
not even created by her, but the ones surrounding her dead lifeless soul.
She feels agony and pain and loathing she must experience from her most trusted and beloved. She is digging her grave and as she does, the worms and dirt, decay and consume her body, her soul, her complexities, and her mind, as she continues to dig.


-"science |?s??ns| noun the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment"- the dictionary
 

Offline neilep

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #20 on: 03/10/2005 02:51:50 »
Dear Dr Nina,....great prose..thank you...is it introspective ?

Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
 

Offline NLJB

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #21 on: 03/10/2005 03:32:57 »
Thank you! Actually it is my feeling on a book entitled "Go Ask Alice" an actual diary  of a teenage girl and her life in the drug world, I highly recommend it, I read it in a day (its an easy read) but for some reason I was impacted greatly by it...

-"I don't mind if you shoot me, just don't tell me"- Bob Dylan
« Last Edit: 03/10/2005 19:09:00 by NLJB »
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #22 on: 03/10/2005 14:07:33 »
Nina, loved your verse about barefoot. I have a 60 year young Lady friend who never wears shoes. I also enjoy walking barefoot through grass while out with my dogs, its an amazingly relaxing experience, I often close my eyes when walking on the local golf course without shoes and socks and feel as if I am being recharged with energy. Have you tried putting your hands on the trunk of a large tree while barefoot, closing youe eyes? You can feel the trees energy flowing down through your fingers into your arms and all the way through your body. A tingling feeling that is very pleasing to the body. I have heard that women find this sensation to be even more stimulating.

"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
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Offline neilep

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #23 on: 03/10/2005 15:40:21 »
Seeing this thread again, has made me re-evaluate all my old
stuff...this silly little saucy ditty I wrote when I was just
16....MANY years ago...and is seen here untouched ........so,
 apologies in advance !!!



THE PARTY

The party started off so well
There was John Jack Jane and Jill
Not forgetting me as well

Suddenly I heard the bell
I answered it and well
Would you believe it
It was Mary Mandy William and Nell

"Well where the Hell have you been" I said
"We've been at Wills" said Mary "in bed "
"All four of you well well" I said

Then once again the bell rang more
So of I went to answer the door
And would you believe it , it was Paula and Paul
"It's such a long time since you have called"
"Well we've been busy haven't we Paul ?"
"Oh I see, no need to explain any more"

So off we went and had some fun
It was really great YOU should have come
But if you did , don't tell your mum

So anyway, half of us went naked and dived in the pool
It was really good the water was cool
Splishing and splashing using every tool
To know our situation it wouldn't take a fool

Hell we made an awful din
Though it would have been better
If the girls joined in !!!


Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #24 on: 03/10/2005 16:56:29 »
I like that Neil



"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
K.I.S. "Keep it simple!"
 

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Re: SHARE YOUR WRITING!
« Reply #24 on: 03/10/2005 16:56:29 »

 

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