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Author Topic: What's the correct way to climb over a gate?  (Read 14888 times)

Offline Bored chemist

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #25 on: 26/02/2009 07:07:23 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.

How come you can read the street signs?
 

Offline rosalind dna

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #26 on: 26/02/2009 12:29:03 »
Not only that Turnipsock the way that we see things on the TV such
as the program you're talking about is a mirror image.

Same for the anti-clockwise stirring actions of a TV chef.

How come you can read the street signs?

BC I can't drive so read the road signs as I'm walking towards them.
 

James May

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #27 on: 27/02/2009 09:10:52 »
Hello. This is James May here. The slightly awkward one from Top Gear with a silly haircut and the cute button nose. I used to be call James Definitely-Will, but the BBC made me change my name to James May because they said it was more in keeping with my insipid and indecisive personality.

John Chapman is absolutely right. We are all made up to look completely different on TV. In fact, the BBC actually only has 3 presenters – the rest is all done with make-up. Ann Robinson, for instance, is actually a 6’ 3” ex rugby player called Bob. And he’s black. Me? I am actually James May, Carol Vorderman, several newsreaders and one of the Blue Peter cats. I am also the voice of Kat Arney.

I should point out that the bumbling James May is just a character I play. In real life, my sophisticated repartee, razor sharp wit and youthful athletic body make me very popular with the showbiz ladies enabling me to have secret affairs with such Hollywood beauties as Kiera Knightly.
 

Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #28 on: 27/02/2009 09:13:37 »
I’ll give him ‘cute button nose’, the sad deluded bastard. Pass me a gun, someone!

I mean, he’s not exactly got the sexual charisma of (sigh) Brad Pitt or (bigger sigh) Chemistry4Me, has he? Actually, while we’re on the subject, my mate Angelina Jolie who knows how much I fancy him says I should just ask outright:

Have you got any chemistry for me, Chemistry4Me?
 

Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #29 on: 27/02/2009 09:14:47 »
Hi Chemsy

That slapper Angelina has just been on the phone. Honestly, she can’t ever find her own man. Just ask Jennifer Aniston. Anyway, she wants to know, have you got a spare clone and would we like to make up a foursome with them. She said we could mix ‘n’ match at the end of the night. Honestly, she’s like a bitch on heat. What do you think, Chemsibaby?
 

Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #30 on: 27/02/2009 09:16:15 »
Bleedin’ hell they’re all jumping on the bandwagon. I’ve just had Cameron Diaz on the phone now. She and Halle Berry want to come too. Courtney Cox wants your body. And Jodie Foster wants to know if your wife’s invited. This is turning into an orgy. Especially with that hussy Angelina Involved. She doesn’t necessarily even stick to one species, let alone one gender!

Should I let them all come, Chemsibooboo?

How many of us can you handle?
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #31 on: 27/02/2009 09:23:20 »


Goodness me Keira Knightly! I am humbled that you have appeared out of nowhere and graced this forum with your er...girlfriends.

Wanna come to my house? We can have a party!

 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #32 on: 27/02/2009 09:25:37 »
How many of us can you handle?
Errrr....
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #33 on: 27/02/2009 09:29:43 »


Of course Kiera, tell all of your friends to come over! :)
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #34 on: 27/02/2009 10:47:31 »
Btw, hi James May, nice to meet you. Honoured to meet you actually!
 

Offline dentstudent

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #35 on: 27/02/2009 11:28:47 »
Why would you want to climb over this anyway?
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #36 on: 27/02/2009 11:31:06 »
Eh? ?????????
Climb over mossgate? ???
 

Offline dentstudent

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #37 on: 27/02/2009 12:18:14 »
Moss agate! Agate is a type of quartz (IIRC!).
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #38 on: 27/02/2009 22:39:43 »
Whoa, dentstudent, you are actually online! :)
 

Brad Pitt

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #39 on: 01/03/2009 16:17:49 »
Oi! You! Chemistry4me. This is Brad Pitt here. I’ve heard all about you coming on to my wife, trying to sully her innocence with one of your sordid swinging parties. Angy is pure and virtuous and chaste and immaculate and uncorrupted and angelic and exemplary and faithful and…….
(5 minutes later)
……untarnished and prudish and if you ever come near her again I’m coming over there to shove a kiwi up your…...
(etc, etc)

 

Keira Knightly

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #40 on: 01/03/2009 16:20:35 »
Oh Chems how could you! Brad’s told me all about you and Angelina.

You made me love you and then trampled all over my feelings before heartlessly casting me aside. And after I gave so much of myself to you! You bastard, I’m never going to speak to you again. It’s goodbye -  I’m going back to James May.

 

James May

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #41 on: 01/03/2009 16:22:06 »
I won in the end. Adios forever, Suckers!
 

James May

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #42 on: 01/03/2009 16:24:55 »
And you can stick your gate up your bum!
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #43 on: 02/03/2009 02:40:27 »
Wtf!?!?! Where on Earth do all these people come from!?!?! ?????????
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #44 on: 02/03/2009 02:41:00 »
And why are you all picking on me!?!?!
 

Offline John Chapman

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #45 on: 02/03/2009 11:09:10 »
It's your personal magnetism. You just bring out the animal in people. ;D What's your secret?

Fancy blowing it with all those Hollywood beauties before you got to have the night of every man's fantasies. We were all hoping for an invite! So close and yet so far! So wrong and yet so right!
« Last Edit: 02/03/2009 11:21:11 by John Chapman »
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #46 on: 03/03/2009 02:47:34 »
Oh please John Chapman, don't you start! ;)
 

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What's the correct way to climb over a gate?
« Reply #46 on: 03/03/2009 02:47:34 »

 

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