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Author Topic: In these days of obesity can a tapeworm infection actually be beneficial?  (Read 13183 times)

Offline John Chapman

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We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

Any takers?


 

Ethos

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We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?


I have a couple dozen for sale, you interested?
 

Offline John Chapman

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Are they used? Do I need a pair of extra long forceps to retrieve them?
« Last Edit: 21/03/2009 00:26:01 by John Chapman »
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Eww... [xx(]

Interesting idea though. :)
 

Ethos

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Are they used? Do I need a pair of extra long forceps to retrieve them?
Actually, I keep them in my frig.....no need for forceps.
 

Offline Karen W.

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Double yuck and No Thank you!
 

Offline John Chapman

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Actually, I keep them in my fridge.....


No, no, no, no, no!

Ethos, how many time have I got to tell you? Those white round things you put in the fridge a dozen at a time are called eggs.  EGGS!  Tapeworms are the things you pull out of your bum. It's very simple.

Get this right and next week I'll teach you the difference between 'penis' and 'puppy' and which one it's OK to stroke in public.
 
 
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Offline RD

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... would a tapeworm really do any real harm?

Tapeworms can obstruct the bowel ...

Quote
Taenia saginata infection is caused by the bovine tapeworm and can be the cause of emergency surgical conditions. We report one case of small bowel obstruction leading to necrosis and another case of large bowel obstruction and volvulus due to an impacted tapeworm.
http://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0035920306002343


... could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

If your customers disposed of their faeces in the conventional manner they could contaminate the water supply.
This would soon put you out of business as market saturation would ensue: (everyone would have one).
 

Offline Bored chemist

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"could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?"
I has been done before (for a given deffinition of "safe").
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/tapeworm.asp
 

Variola

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Quote
We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

Any takers?

Ugh!  [B)] Well it might be beneficial to those allergy sufferes with high IgE disposition.

However I think your idea has merit, but instead of ingesting the worms, sprinkle mature worms liberally over high fat foods, that would put off even the most ardent sat fat fan, such as myself.  ;D
 

Ethos

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Tapeworms are the things you pull out of your bum. It's very simple.

I'll assume you're speaking from the voice of experience JC, because frankly, I have never extricated any from my posterior. And to the contrary, such an operation could not be so simple a task considering the angle at which this maneuver must surely be handled. Right????
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Is shouldn't be too difficult.
 

Ethos

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Is shouldn't be too difficult.
Alright, gang up on me will you guys. It just ain't fair I say, it just ain't fair. But neither is life and we're stuck with it for the duration. So there, have some fun while it lasts............Ethos
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Yeah! Let's have some fun. :)
 

Offline John Chapman

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I have never extricated any from my posterior. And to the contrary, such an operation could not be so simple a task considering the angle at which this maneuver must surely be handled. Right????


I do it all the time. That's how I did my back in. And then I tie the ends together and use them as elastic bands. Sometimes I hide them in your fridge and tell you they're eggs!
 
 

Ethos

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 Sometimes I hide them in your fridge and tell you they're eggs!
 
Please stay out of my fridge, I keep hazardous material in there!
 

Offline John Chapman

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What! You mean my wife does your cooking too?
 

Offline John Chapman

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Ted Bundy kept body parts in his. That was certainly hazardous to his victims. So, (hoping I don't regret the answer) what do you keep in your fridge?
 
 

Offline neilep

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We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

Any takers?

As a firm believer in empirical study I snuck into my neighbours house at 3am this morning and taped a hundred worms to him. His bound-and-gagged lack of protest confirmed his willing and joy to be able to assist in this worthwhile experiment.

Before the attachment of the worms he was 144lbs....with the worms attached he was 150lbs !.....I think there must be a problem here !!
 

Ethos

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(hoping I don't regret the answer) what do you keep in your fridge?
 
In honor of your trepidation regarding my reply, I refuse to answer on the grounds it may tend to incriminate yours truly........
 

Offline John Chapman

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Fantastic!

I've just stumbled across a website that's selling tapeworms as a diet aid. And hookworms! Can you believe that! I've emailed them for prices.

http://wormtherapy.com/products.html

They've stolen my money making idea, the bastards. I'll have to think of something else now.

What about infecting people with African Sleeping Sickness as a cure for insomnia? Or swimming with piranhas for breast and penis reduction?

Can you think of any other ways I can exploit nature for some original quack cures?
 
 

Offline Nizzle

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You could make ugly plastic shoes with holes in them against sweaty feet.

Oh wait.. nope...

That's been done too
 

Offline John Chapman

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Wahay! I've had a reply:
 
Quote from: Email to Worm Therapy

I am interested in one of your tapeworms for weight loss. How do I get rid of it when I've finished with it? Do you supply by mail order and can you supply to the UK? Please let me know the price. Many thanks, John Chapman
 

Quote from: Reply from Worm Therapy

The worm can be eliminated by a single treatment of praziquantel which is around 99% effective. We can ship to the UK. The average price is $2,000.00 USD but can be more or less depending upon the amount of weight you want to lose.
 
Sincerely,

Garin Aglietti
www.wormtherapy.com
888-898-WORM
 

2 grand and there's a 1% chance it won't go away when I'm done!

The company is based in Mexico because, apparently, the FDA won't let them operate out of the USA. For 2 Grand you could fly to Mexico, chew on some contaminated meat and get the same result with a free holiday thrown in. And to help you lose weight you could probably get a dose of dysentery thrown in. And if you are in to adventure holidays it's always worth remembering that Mexico is the world's No.1 place for kidnappings!

Well I'm up for it.
« Last Edit: 25/08/2009 22:58:12 by John Chapman »
 

Offline gogo

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ETHOS - are you really serious about having tapeworm eggs in your refrigerator?  Will you please tell me more about that?
 

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