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Author Topic: Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?  (Read 9578 times)

Offline Karen W.

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« on: 28/04/2009 10:48:26 »
Well I was thinking how much jokes make me smile when I am overrun with work and lifes little worries..so I think of all the funny things in life that make me smile... and I was thinking of our own "Sheepy," funny man of our forum!

You know how he is always bringing us all smiles, well I thought it would be nice to fill a thread full of funny jokes, in an attempt to give smiles back in return for all the lovely ones we have all been given over the years here in the forum.... soooooooo, lets have a Sheepy Roast!
 
Lets keep it fun and nice!

Perhaps.... some funny memoirs of Sheepy posts or favorites that still bring a tear to your eye with laughter! Lol..

Fire away!!!

 


 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #1 on: 28/04/2009 16:11:55 »
Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the
engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.

SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

SH2: What about the sheep ?!?

SH1: F**k the sheep !!!!

SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

 
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #2 on: 28/04/2009 16:37:43 »
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"

Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog: "Doin' all right"

Villager: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Villager: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool"

Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Villager: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Villager: "The sheep's a liar"
 

Offline dentstudent

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #3 on: 28/04/2009 16:45:38 »
Not a joke, but VERY funny!

 

Offline Karen W.

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #4 on: 28/04/2009 18:52:09 »
Those are very funny....... Lol...Lol....lol....
 

Variola

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #5 on: 28/04/2009 20:34:48 »
Mary had little lamb,
She tied it to a plyon
20,00 volts went up its bum
And turned its wool to nylon





Mary had a little lamb
She thought it rather silly,
She threw it up in the air,
and caught it by its.....!!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #6 on: 28/04/2009 20:46:46 »
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep
hole.

"Wow...that looks deep."

"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.

"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks
down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole
and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his
face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a
railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in,
it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two men drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a
sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a sheep appears, running like the
wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them,
running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air
and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...
Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.

Hey... you two guys seen my sheep out here?

You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy
and just jumped into this hole!

Nah, says the farmer, That couldn't have been MY sheep. My sheep was
chained to a railroad tie.
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #7 on: 29/04/2009 06:29:41 »
Love it. :)
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #8 on: 29/04/2009 10:58:35 »
Love it. :)

How's you dog, your horse and that lying bitch of a sheep?
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #9 on: 29/04/2009 11:01:16 »
Sorry, can't talk mate, a bit busy at the momento.

Hmmm...I was going to say a bit busy shagging Ahhh! shearing the sheep, am I allowed to say that? :) The shag**** I mean?   
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #10 on: 29/04/2009 12:22:02 »
you can say shag*** but not shagging
 

Offline Don_1

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #11 on: 29/04/2009 12:25:25 »
What do you call a Welshman with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp.


I hear they have 2 new uses for sheep in New Zealand.

Meat and wool.
« Last Edit: 29/04/2009 12:26:57 by Don_1 »
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #12 on: 29/04/2009 12:34:15 »
There was this Aussie roustabout named Jake who got himself fired from his job at the station. He was out of work for a while, then started to get hungry. So he swallowed his pride, and went to the other station in those parts to ask for work--it was a sheep station. They hired him, of course, not too many roustabouts wanted to herd sheep. The first night he was there, the other shepherds there woke him up.

"Get up, boy," they said."It's time for your initiation!"

"Initiation! But how bad could it be," he thought to himself. "Afterall, they were a bunch of sheep tenders!"

So they took him out back of the sheep-pen, and he saw all the other guys lined up waiting.

"Go on," they said, "Boy, it's time you showed you were a REAL man!"

"Huh?" he said.

"That's right," they said, pointing at the sheep, "Show us you're a real man."

"Oh, no," he thought, "they couldn't possibly want him to..."but then he really needed the job. So he squared his shoulders and went and picked out a sheep. He led it behind the shed. After a moment, the others were rewarded by the sounds of, "Baaaah BAAAAH..."

A couple of minutes later the roustabout came back out, buttoning his pants, to see the other guys all laughing at him.

"Oh, great," he thought, "now I've really been had." "So, what?" he said, "Was I not supposed do that with the sheep?"

"That's not it," they laughed. "It's just that you picked out an ugly one."
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #13 on: 29/04/2009 12:42:59 »
What's so funny about that?
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #14 on: 29/04/2009 13:07:26 »
What's so funny about that?

Former station roustabout there, I see.
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #15 on: 29/04/2009 13:10:01 »
Well as a matter of fact...
 

Offline JimBob

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« Reply #16 on: 29/04/2009 13:21:03 »
I know, I have raised goats, myself .....
 

Offline Karen W.

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #17 on: 29/04/2009 16:07:18 »
Mary had little lamb,
She tied it to a plyon
20,00 volts went up its bum
And turned its wool to nylon





Mary had a little lamb
She thought it rather silly,
She threw it up in the air,
and caught it by its.....!!

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Lol...Hee Hee Hee.. you're so funny....LOL.....
 

Offline Karen W.

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #18 on: 29/04/2009 16:14:25 »
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep
hole.

"Wow...that looks deep."

"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise.

"Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks
down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole
and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his
face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a
railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in,
it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two men drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a
sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a sheep appears, running like the
wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them,
running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air
and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen...
Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.

Hey... you two guys seen my sheep out here?

You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy
and just jumped into this hole!

Nah, says the farmer, That couldn't have been MY sheep. My sheep was
chained to a railroad tie.


LOL...LOL...LOL.....I love this one... Thanks for putting it in Jimbob...its a great one!
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #19 on: 29/04/2009 18:45:42 »
A contribution from Dr. Beaver

_______________________________


Two welsh Farmers are rounding up sheep when a ewe goes wild. She runs into a fence and gets her head stuck. The two farmers look at each other, pause, then one says "This is too good an opportunity to pass up."

He unzips his fly and goes to work on the ewe for ten minutes. When he's finished he asks his buddy if he fancies some of that.

"F*****' right I do he says" so he frantically pulls down his trousers and sticks his head in the fence!
 

Offline Bored chemist

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #20 on: 29/04/2009 20:11:53 »
Mary had a little lamb,
Full of fun and frolics.
It tried to jump the barbed wire fence,
but got caught by its elbow.

Mary had a little lamb,
she also had a bear.
I've often seen her little lamb,
but I've never seen her bear.

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it; dead.
But still it goes to school with her
Between two bits of bread.

And my favorite.

Mary had a little lamb.
The midwife fainted.




 

blakestyger

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #21 on: 29/04/2009 22:16:58 »
Seeing Aussies have had a mention already -

Two Aussies come to London, they are amazed at some of the shops - especially when they see a taxidermist.
"What goes on there?" asked one.
"Dunno" says the other "I'll go and ask".
Minutes later he comes out of the shop "Says he stuffs animals".
"Oh, that's all right, he's one of us".
« Last Edit: 29/04/2009 22:20:07 by blakestyger »
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #22 on: 29/04/2009 22:52:35 »
When a tourist coach passed through a small country town in NZ one of the passengers noticed a sheep tied to a lamppost on the corner in the main street.

"What's that?" she said.

"Oh that," said the guide, "that's the Recreation Centre"
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #23 on: 30/04/2009 06:02:14 »
When a tourist coach passed through a small country town in NZ one of the passengers noticed a sheep tied to a lamppost on the corner in the main street.

"What's that?" she said.

"Oh that," said the guide, "that's the Recreation Centre"
HA!

That must be the best one of the lot.
 

Offline JimBob

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #24 on: 30/04/2009 16:50:06 »
Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.

She also went out and bought a new convertible.

She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.

She stopped and called the sheepherder over.

"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.

"Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.

"Okay.", replied the herder.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".

"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right.

Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".

"What is it?", queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"
 

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Does anyone know any funny Sheepy jokes?
« Reply #24 on: 30/04/2009 16:50:06 »

 

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