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Author Topic: Why does Andrew LLoyd Webber's face resemble the reflection in a spoon?  (Read 9447 times)

Offline Make it Lady

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Whilst watching Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Eurovision Song Contest I managed to convince my children that Andrew had had an accident that had left him with a face that was the reflection in the back of a spoon. I challenged them to get his face to look vaguely normal using variuos house hold reflective items. Sadly he wasn't on long enough for the children to get an answer.
Please could you let me know which optical instruments would correct his facial defect and is it possible to use household reflective instruments to solve this problem?
« Last Edit: 19/05/2009 22:27:33 by chris »


 

Offline RD

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Please could you let me know which optical instruments would correct his facial defect
 and is it possible to use household reflective instruments to solve this problem?


Crisp packet ? (a.k.a. aluminised mylar film).



http://sciencecastle.com/sc/index.php/courses/enroll/6


[BTW A photo of Andrew can be a safety device: if placed on the mantelpiece it keeps children away from the fire.]
« Last Edit: 18/05/2009 23:03:54 by RD »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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I never thought of a crisp packet but this seems to have made it worse.
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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It has been scientifically proven that the only way to make A L-W's face appear vaguely human is by the strategic placement of a brown paper bag over the aforementioned gentleman's noggin. To further improve his visage, an upturned bucket over the bag is advised.
« Last Edit: 26/05/2009 20:15:31 by DoctorBeaver »
 

Offline Daerana

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It has been scientifically proven that the only way to make A L-W's face appear vaguely human is by the stragegic placement of a brown paper bag over the aforementioned gentleman's noggin. To further improve his visage, an upturned bucket over the bag is advised.

Well, I actually didn't know what he looks like, so I googled him on google images, and sadly enough I think the docter is right.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/images/2008/04/18/andrewlloydwebber.jpg
 

Offline Make it Lady

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I'm sure optical instruments would help. Has no one got the answer to my question? My kids would love to know.
 

Offline Don_1

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Try the front of a spoon, preferably a wooden spoon!
 

Offline RD

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I'm sure optical instruments would help. Has no one got the answer to my question? My kids would love to know.

Back-of-a-spoon-distortion is called "barrel distortion",
The opposite of barrel distortion is "pincushion distortion".

Using a camera lens which suffers from “pincushion distortion” could flatter A L-W (and David Gest).




« Last Edit: 19/05/2009 21:35:54 by RD »
 

Offline Don_1

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Using a camera lens which suffers from “pincushion distortion” could flatter A L-W (and David Gest).


A 42 ton truck would do a better job!
 

Offline RD

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BTW if anyone is interested in transforming faces,
 (e.g. change gender, change race, average two faces) try this St Andrews University site.
« Last Edit: 19/05/2009 22:09:04 by RD »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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So we can give Andrew a sex change and a pin head but we still can't make him handsome.
 

Offline turnipsock

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You could try the spoon effect option on paintshop...



goes to



It makes him look a bit like Ant (or Dec).

That Phantom picture reminds me of the time I went to see Juliet and Romeo, by William Shakespear. When she said "Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou?", I shouted "behind you"...how was I supposed to know it wasn't a panto?

 

Offline Bored chemist

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What do you think "wherefore" means?
 

Offline Daerana

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What do you think "wherefore" means?

It means "for what purpose or reason".  So really, it means "why".
A lot of people think that it's "where is", but it's not.

 

lyner

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Isn't is just that way to make it scan? Iambic pentameters rule with WS.
 

lyner

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And, whilst I'm on this thread, isn't this all needlessly offensive? I can't stand his music but he's made a lot of dosh from it and he can't be without talent. What's the point of getting at him in this way?  Could it just be jealousy? Should we go into a hospital and discuss, with 'humour',  why  some unfortunate child looks the way they do?
I wonder what is the average age of the contributors to this thread? (Ignoring my contributions, of course.) Let's have some Princess Di jokes to round it all off in a really mature fashion..
 

Offline Bored chemist

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Diana and Loyd-Webber are both fair game for having the piss taken because they chose to put themselves in the public eye. The children at the local hospital didn't so they aren't.
To me that looks like a pretty clear distinction.
 

lyner

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It more a matter of what it says about the piss takers - not the piss taken victim. Why is a (mature) joke (I know - an oxymoron) more funny because it's about a celeb?
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Who rattled your cage!? My question was an optical one. OK I used an unusual example but this thread does get rather dry. As my job is to get children that are switched off to science, switched on again, using topical questions and celeb.s is a good way of firing imaginations. I am rather spoon faced myself and would also like an answer to my facial wide and bent-in-ness. Mr S.C. please answer the original question or go to another dry question where you will feel more at home. As less people are posting questions on this forum it needs less people like you putting the people posing the questions off. 
 

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