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Author Topic: Love  (Read 269583 times)

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #800 on: 14/09/2007 17:37:44 »
Yayyyy! I am glad.What are you doing this morning besides using your imagination?
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #801 on: 14/09/2007 17:40:16 »
Did you see the Bear pictures I took from Oregon in the pictures of ourselves!

He was reaching out for food but he looked as if he was waving at us! LOL The kids were feeding them through the fence and the bears would sit up and try to catch the food!
 

Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #802 on: 14/09/2007 17:49:50 »
Nothing besides my imagination Karen.
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #803 on: 14/09/2007 17:55:43 »
OK.. I hope you have a good afternoon.. I have to get ready to go to the doctor.. have fun today!

I hope you imagine some fun and lots of smiles!
 

Offline Simulated

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« Reply #804 on: 15/09/2007 13:24:59 »
For a short while anyway.

Hey Ben Have you seen Ryan at school? He has not been on . I am a little worried. I know he is probably busy as heck, but would you ask him to give me a holler and let me know if things are alright?

Yep I have one B+ I'm not aloud on the computer. Even though I have a 3.788 GPA. LoL. Now I"m going to get back to reading the rest of the thread.

OK.. I am glad he is not sick or anything!

How are you today?

Actually I have a cold. Had it all week. Stinks.
 

Offline Simulated

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« Reply #805 on: 15/09/2007 13:25:53 »
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« Last Edit: 20/09/2008 03:13:33 by Simulated »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #806 on: 17/09/2007 03:45:34 »
For a short while anyway.

Hey Ben Have you seen Ryan at school? He has not been on . I am a little worried. I know he is probably busy as heck, but would you ask him to give me a holler and let me know if things are alright?

Yep I have one B+ I'm not aloud on the computer. Even though I have a 3.788 GPA. LoL. Now I"m going to get back to reading the rest of the thread.

OK.. I am glad he is not sick or anything!

How are you today?

Actually I have a cold. Had it all week. Stinks.

Sorry you have been sick we have missed you lots! Glad you made it on a bit Sorry I was not...Hope your weekend was good. Maybe I will get to talk to you next weekend. I hope you are able to get your grades up young man! :)

Go abandoning us here! LOL LOL!
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #807 on: 17/09/2007 03:46:24 »
Yeah its been like a week since I've talked to Kayla and 2 since I've been with her. God I hope nothing happened to her last week.

You will be ok. Good thoughts!
 

Offline Simulated

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« Reply #808 on: 20/09/2007 11:05:24 »
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« Last Edit: 20/09/2008 03:14:01 by Simulated »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #809 on: 20/09/2007 13:25:08 »
Me sorry too Ryan.. Hope things go smoothly for you and you feel better soon.  I am glad you had fun.. you should think of better places to hang out!
 

Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #810 on: 20/09/2007 17:47:59 »
Yeah its been like a week since I've talked to Kayla and 2 since I've been with her. God I hope nothing happened to her last week.

You will be ok. Good thoughts!

I was with her on Sunday. At the Canal Days. Its like a weekend where all the people come to get drunk and stuff. LoL. Don't worry we didn't do none of that. It was a good day Sunday. We spent four hours just sitting there, walking around, talking to people it was nice. The only bad part was my hands were frezzing until she held them. LoL, but they were still cold. I'm sick this week too. And sorry I'm getting a 3.788 and not a 4.0. LoL

Thats why people get g/fs and b/fs...hand warmers!

Course you can buy those at the store, but these are cheaper and all you gotta do is pretend to love em. Till they see through the deception and leave...sigh. Always flaws.
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #811 on: 20/09/2007 18:45:22 »
People who pretend to love others just to fulfill their own physical needs, need to be.. well... I am not a good judge of that right now! It has happened to much...for me, and thousands of other people who trust too much and listen to their heart more then they should over their own good common sense!
 

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« Reply #812 on: 22/09/2007 00:15:23 »
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« Last Edit: 20/09/2008 03:14:34 by Simulated »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #813 on: 22/09/2007 00:17:50 »
People like that are many in society today.. I guess there have always been people who play with peoples affections... It is really cruel and mean...
 

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« Reply #814 on: 22/09/2007 00:18:58 »
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« Last Edit: 20/09/2008 03:14:48 by Simulated »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #815 on: 22/09/2007 00:32:10 »
 Well I am happy for you.. Young love..
 

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« Reply #816 on: 22/09/2007 00:35:09 »
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« Last Edit: 20/09/2008 03:15:03 by Simulated »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #817 on: 22/09/2007 00:41:11 »
Well I think you have a lot of time to improve on that score although it is good for you..
 

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« Reply #818 on: 22/09/2007 00:43:36 »
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« Last Edit: 20/09/2008 03:15:16 by Simulated »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #819 on: 22/09/2007 00:59:23 »
 I hope that is true for you Ryan.. Lots of nice thoughts for your future no matter who you spend it with!
 

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« Reply #820 on: 22/09/2007 01:28:35 »
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« Last Edit: 20/09/2008 03:15:37 by Simulated »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #821 on: 22/09/2007 01:40:59 »
I don't know Ryan... I keep asking myself that about my heart to..  I love so much it hurts and I can't turn it off I tried.. but it doesn't work... I think that is something I will never understand.. I am someone who falls with their whole heart and soul and It never stops no matter what the other person does to you or how bad they treat you.. I don't get it myself..

Its kinda like a child that is abused badly by a parent but the child has made such an incredible bond with parent that the parent in the child's eyes can do no wrong... and the child still holds on to that love that is in their heart even in the face of the reality of the abuse...Children love unconditionally as they have not experienced the world  or had the hurts and disappointments that one has as they mature and grow older.We all strive for that unconditional love, but as older adults we put limits on how we offer up our love. We put conditions up, actually sabotaging ourselves at times with unreal expectations of what love really is and how we give and receive that love.

I know you are a young man But When I was young I was abused and experienced this same kinda of bond like I spoke of.. As an adult I fell in love actually I was 18, first date, first holding of hands, first kiss, first everything and to this day the only date kiss hand holding, first everything, I have ever been involved with and I am 47 years old.  I thought I was so in love  and we were such good friends we were married and have been for 27 years together for 29 years.  I thought our marriage was just the way it was supposed to be because I knew no other way! It was not a great marriage. No communication amongst a lot of other things. He made me feel stupid all the time and worthless. Kids house the chores the yard work maintenances repairs fixing of broken electronics everything was my job.. I was never allowed to call a repair man. Little did I know, It was me that needed to be fixed.. I took the blame for everything that went wrong.. I still do. I can't help it! It is still the scared child inside of me. Even though I know the difference my brain doesn't. It's habit I guess.
« Last Edit: 28/09/2007 11:24:15 by Karen W. »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #822 on: 22/09/2007 01:47:38 »
I bonded with him and knew no other love. He was gentle, and after being repeatedly abused by my stepfather, I thought I had met the greatest man on earth! We clicked and got along good, very seldom having words but even less having affection I thought that was the way it should be.. as my man experience had not been good!

I tried for years to do more fun things, be the wonderful wife, fix his meals, rub his feet after work, do whatever he wanted to help him relax.. usually he wanted me to go clean something the less talk and interaction the better.. It got to where if I really needed to talk to him about lack of affection the kids or just love.. or the stars,a rainbow,or whatever. I had to do it once we were in the car driving down the road, because then he couldn't bail out and had to talk or at least listen to resolve whatever was happening.  I hated it! More and more we grew apart because of lack of affection, communication, sadness and loneliness. You can live in the same house for 29 years and be the loneliest person on the planet!
« Last Edit: 22/09/2007 06:43:50 by Karen W. »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #823 on: 22/09/2007 02:02:12 »
He was not mean like physically hitting me or things like that. My husband was a gentle man and is.. as of late has scared me a couple times, but his heart was not with me. It was elsewhere. No matter how much I loved him and do to an extent now, it just isn't right. There was never passion or the right kind of love, or repect for that matter. He always had other partners besides me.  Some how I knew for years and didn't face it.. I loved him more then anything.. but he didn't love me. Then one day he admitted it and my life fell apart. Everything from my childhood came up and slapped me in the face and I shut down for two years,,, I won't go into detail but it took a long time to stand up again. And still like that infant or child that clings to the parent or loved one even in the face of the truth holding on.. I still could not accept it and he wanted to stay he was afraid to leave I would say please go then he would say he didn't want to.. and if he did, then I got so upset that he was going to go that it was a cycle, and it has taken years to get where I am. I still have had new surprises, he is here again wanting to stay and take care of me but at this juncture I have finally come to a point of saying goodbye to him. As I cannot continue with the stress of his life on mine. It is killing me. Ryan I will always love him no matter what he did or said.. but It's not like you just wake up one day and theres no love.. Its just that I finally seen I was the only one ever in love... Love takes two people .. at least the right kind of love.. I missed the boat! I could love him for a life time and I will BUT..it will never change the way he feels towards me. He is a good father loves his children so much, but does not love me.

Now, I do know what it is like to really fall in love and have.. but sometimes in life timing and our own present situations take priority and we cant erase our pasts our obligations and it just makes things impossible. Not that love stops, it Does not.. It changes, it stays in your heart and continues to grow and hopefully That love will be there for always... I am too old for all this love stuff. You are young You do have your whole life ahead of you...Enjoy it and love every minute of really being in love and loving someone and having them love you so much your hearts feel they  will burst!   

Hugs to you Ryan Your a great kid.. Love never stops if you keep it safe in your heart and cherish the memories and always remember!! Sometimes that is all we have or need. Love is wonderful, and Yet sometimes it can still just break your heart!
« Last Edit: 28/09/2007 11:29:22 by Karen W. »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #824 on: 22/09/2007 02:04:45 »
Sorry Ryan It has been an emotional day today and I am really sorry I rambled so!
 

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« Reply #824 on: 22/09/2007 02:04:45 »

 

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