The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?  (Read 17154 times)

Offline demografx

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #25 on: 30/08/2009 06:17:22 »

Monika, is YouBeSaved from the previous page too lame?
« Last Edit: 31/08/2009 23:42:22 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #26 on: 30/08/2009 06:24:08 »


What do you propose for the new religion? Let's get some ideas rolling.


Stereo, maybe you have the cart before the horse. Don't we first need a good scandal to attract people? Then we build from there...

Perhaps we need to appoint someone to head up a new Division of Extramarital Affairs and Larceny............

But I don't claim to know all (except in Matters Of The Universe and Right Living, as any Good New Religion Founder-Partner should know), so jump right in!......
« Last Edit: 31/08/2009 23:46:05 by demografx »
 

Offline MonikaS

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 279
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #27 on: 01/09/2009 23:22:09 »
A scandal is always good for getting a new religion started, or something juicy... What about making extramarital activites mandatory? <ponder> That would make marriage for all members mandatory too... Oh yes I've got an idea! We can do huge marriage ceremonies Moonie style! Do we want a jus primae noctis?

YouBeSaved sounds a bit lame... First Church of Naked/Stripped Salvation or something like that.
 

Offline demografx

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #28 on: 01/09/2009 23:41:46 »

Wow, Monika, I second that FCN/SS name motion! Excellent.

My only concern with jus primae noctis is that we could wind up competing with other recent startups' promises of many virgins and perhaps we might get hurt in the process by.....zealots. We need to stay focused on greed, larceny and merely contemptible behavior and tactics.

After all, we're only out for fame, money and power, right? OK, illicit romance, too.

But I'm thrilled that you agree with the scientific pursuit of scandal!
« Last Edit: 01/09/2009 23:44:24 by demografx »
 

Offline Vern

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2072
    • View Profile
    • Photonics
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #29 on: 05/09/2009 14:19:29 »
Quote
Wow, Monika, I second that FCN/SS name motion! Excellent.
Hey; I like that; and once in power we'll have to dispense with normal legislative bodies; we can appoint our own shadow government and just ignore the old cronies.

Then we'll need to silence the opposition by cutting off their radio and TV access.

:) Oops; sounds kinda familiar.  ::)
 

Offline demografx

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #30 on: 07/09/2009 06:27:02 »

Vern, I get shivers thinking of all the possibilities, they're endless! And to have government and mass media at our beck and call! I can't wait for my mailorder Pontiff hat to arrive, it's baby blue...
 

Offline stereologist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 125
    • View Profile
    • Stereothena
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #31 on: 08/09/2009 13:20:32 »
What if the conspiracy is that clothing is used to deploy either mind control devices or drugs. Then we ask for the members of the Church of Stripped Salvation to remove their mind control devices. We'll poke loads of fun at silly 'taggers' that attempt to remove the mind controlling elements of clothing by clipping off the tags. We'll point to unreadable print on the tags where it is claimed there is a EULA with the citizen to become a tax paying slave to the system. We'll make further claims that Nostradamus predicted clothing mind control. Then we can claim that the mind readers such as John Edwards are false prophets and place a fatwa on them. Or we could claim they are renegade operatives that are using the mind control systems for their own profiteering (or should that be propheteering). For those that do not want to remove the mind control devices we'll sell expensive anti-resonance filter water that disables the devices.

We can try to unify the woo by getting crop circles, crystal power, and other baloney wrapped into this conspiracy by claiming they all evidence in favor of our pet theory.
 

Offline demografx

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #32 on: 08/09/2009 21:41:22 »
                              

Brilliant, Stereo! I propose that each article of clothing have a patch sewn with our TPN (Trusted Psychic Nostradamus) prominently displayed!
« Last Edit: 08/09/2009 21:42:54 by demografx »
 

Offline stereologist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 125
    • View Profile
    • Stereothena
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #33 on: 09/09/2009 00:01:28 »
If it drugs, then we have to explain why they do not wash out in the laundry process.

I suggest that we make unwarranted claims that deep fried potatoes of various forms contain an 'adaptive response matrix' that forms 'pluristic recombinant nano-chains' channeling the mind control drugs to 'targeted response zones.'

Our only problem is stopping the diet food industry from stealing our ridiculous claims for capitalistic purposes.
 

Offline demografx

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #34 on: 10/09/2009 07:22:05 »

Great unwarranted claims! And you have raised deep fried potatoes' mind control correlates to incredible scientific heights! NO ONE will understand your descriptors enough to challenge them. Brilliant.

The diet food industry will be hard pressed to steal ideas from you, as a Nobel laureate!

Well done, Stereo! Green Pontiff hat will arrive at your door shortly!
 

Offline stereologist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 125
    • View Profile
    • Stereothena
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #35 on: 10/09/2009 19:04:41 »
Thanks. I have no idea what I was writing which is exactly the sort of rubbish that a good conspiracy needs to defend.

I love the line in the movie a Mighty Wind where the characters says something like, "Isn't it obvious that we're all colors on the 42nd harmonic?"
 

Offline demografx

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #36 on: 11/09/2009 02:11:01 »

Yes. Maybe we should team up with the Moon Landing Conspiracy contingent.

My big concern is that we are a bit too rational. Doesn't bode well for a New Religion Of Lunatics.
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 12001
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #37 on: 09/03/2010 21:00:58 »
What's made me marvel is that you're all so right. It's true every word, you just have too realize that as you think, it will bifurcate. In fact you're all your own Gods, creating endless universes of evil intent with each and every statement made. Endless suffering can at last be ours, as evil overlords ruling our imaginary mindspace we can decree whatever pleases us. The only foreseen problem being agreeing on what that might be, pleasing us I mean.

I suggest ice cream..
 

Offline stereologist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 125
    • View Profile
    • Stereothena
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #38 on: 10/03/2010 00:03:48 »
Ther eis actually a new website that has an online conspiracy generator. You fill in a few slots and voila a conspiracy du jour is ready for dissemination to the masses.

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/02/pl_print_conspiracy?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+wired%2Findex+%28Wired%3A+Index+3+%28Top+Stories+2%29%29
 

Offline Vern

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 2072
    • View Profile
    • Photonics
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #39 on: 10/03/2010 04:47:53 »
Internet just became sentient and is demanding sacrifices. It prefers old farts who have conspiracy theories failing that, virgins will do.
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 12001
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #40 on: 10/03/2010 11:26:07 »
My heart aches for the virgins Vern..

I think I can save them.
Ah, from the Internet.
 

Offline randalf

  • First timers
  • *
  • Posts: 6
  • Aussie in China
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #41 on: 11/03/2010 04:43:41 »
Aliens are responsible for Global Warming so that the Earth is compatable with their higher body temperatures and the increased CO2 levels will enable the next wave of motherships to materialise more easily.

Just off the top of my head....this could be a goer CT!!!  lol
 

Offline stereologist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 125
    • View Profile
    • Stereothena
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #42 on: 11/03/2010 06:16:55 »
These aliens have been using advanced technologies to increase petroleum flow. They want more CO2 in the air. The consequence of their actions have been more earthquakes which have not happened in oil producing areas. That is not a coincidence.
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #43 on: 11/03/2010 06:48:25 »
Do not underestimate us the dolphins. When our the planet is finally submerged there will have to be a change.
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 12001
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #44 on: 11/03/2010 12:05:10 »
"Swim us to your leader." he said..

Immortal last words of our slowly drowning negotiator, as the last hope of a long-lasting peace disappeared in clouds of bubbles, getting fainter and fainter as the deep black opened its arms.

Ah Geezer :)
I love it.
« Last Edit: 11/03/2010 22:11:43 by yor_on »
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #45 on: 11/03/2010 22:33:59 »
It was a big mistake to hold the conference in Copenhagen. We Dolphins can transmit thought waves for several miles.

Our plans are taking shape nicely.
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 12001
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #46 on: 18/03/2010 20:23:48 »
Looking bleakly at his hands he shook his head as he again stared out over the unruly ocean, covering what once had been a great city.

"It should have been fins" He mumbled despairingly as the waves slowly swallowed him up. "Why ever did we walk up on land? We could have been brothers."

As the seagull slowly descended upon his head.
« Last Edit: 18/03/2010 20:26:10 by yor_on »
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #47 on: 15/04/2010 02:42:02 »
Silly humans. They fell right into our trap. Now they seem to believe they invented this thing they call "thermodynamics".

It's complete nonsense of course.
 

Offline stereologist

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 125
    • View Profile
    • Stereothena
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #48 on: 15/04/2010 03:10:38 »
A friend of mine has come up with a conspiracy theory. He claims that problems with Toyota vehicles has been due to hackers hired by the competition to crack the computers inside of the vehicles as they drive. There you are driving down the road enjoying the day when some geek come up next to you, get inside the car's software and send you careening towards certain death. Car sales tumble and the competition sees sales increase. He also suggests that it may be possible that the winners in this are actually gambling on the stock prices through gets and puts. It's a conspiracy as good as the claims of Nibiru fans.
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #49 on: 15/04/2010 06:19:08 »
A friend of mine has come up with a conspiracy theory. He claims that problems with Toyota vehicles has been due to hackers hired by the competition to crack the computers inside of the vehicles as they drive. There you are driving down the road enjoying the day when some geek come up next to you, get inside the car's software and send you careening towards certain death. Car sales tumble and the competition sees sales increase. He also suggests that it may be possible that the winners in this are actually gambling on the stock prices through gets and puts. It's a conspiracy as good as the claims of Nibiru fans.

Intersting idea, but you humans are so limited. We thought that one up about five thousand years ago.
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

Can we come up with the best conspiracy theory ever?
« Reply #49 on: 15/04/2010 06:19:08 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums