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Author Topic: No dogs allowed in heaven  (Read 3223 times)

Offline RD

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« on: 01/09/2009 16:03:55 »
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Atheists offer to care for Christians' pets after the Rapture

It's a question that all animal-loving Christian evangelicals must address: who will look after their pets on Earth when the Rapture comes and they are taken up to heaven?

a group of atheists in the US have come up with a tongue-in-cheek solution, offering to take in the cats and dogs of "saved" believers in return for a small fee.

All the atheists signed up by Eternal Earth-Bound Pets are self-confessed sinners and blasphemers, guaranteeing they will be left behind when the chosen are selected

The business idea is an irreverent attempt to cash in on the belief – widespread among US Christians – that the pious will be carried up to heaven by God in a sudden swoop, leaving unbelievers to endure the seven-year reign of the anti-Christ on Earth.

According to some polls, as many as 55 per cent of Americans believe in the notion of the Rapture.

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" the group's website asks.

"Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind."

For $110, the firm promises lifetime care for almost all domestic pets if their owners are transported to heaven
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/religion/6106462/Atheists-offer-to-care-for-Christians-pets-after-the-Rapture.html/
« Last Edit: 01/09/2009 16:07:12 by RD »


 

Offline Don_1

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #1 on: 01/09/2009 16:57:17 »
Given the amount of sin we humans manage in a lifetime, I should think there'll be no bugger going to Heaven anyway.

Maybe the Rupture rapture has already been and gone and nobody got taken! Probably it will be the pets taken to heaven, while the 'Holier than thou' Bible bashers stay here.

Still, good to see some athiests have a sense of religious humour. And at $110 its cheap at twice the price. I wonder if anyone has, or will, buy into this crazy scheme. I'm betting some fool will.
 

Offline RD

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #2 on: 01/09/2009 18:17:58 »
I wonder if anyone has, or will, buy into this crazy scheme. I'm betting some fool will.

Probably the same type who bought this ...

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Alien abduction insurance ... $155 a year ... policy would pay about $160,000 to someone who could show that they had been abducted by a being who was not from Earth. The payment would double if the insured person was impregnated during the event.
Men were also able to purchase the impregnation insurance for protection against the unknown capabilities of alien technology.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_abduction_insurance

What about insuring pets against being abducted and impregnated by ET, looks like it's already happened  :) ...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphynx_(cat)
« Last Edit: 02/09/2009 12:41:46 by RD »
 

Offline Nizzle

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #3 on: 02/09/2009 14:43:22 »
Crazy christians...

If they leave their pets behind when rapture comes, they don't even deserve a spot in heaven.
Damn animal haters! ;)
 

Offline Don_1

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #4 on: 02/09/2009 14:58:57 »
I agree with that Nizzle. Why does Man put him/herself on such a high pedestal?
 

Offline glovesforfoxes

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #5 on: 02/09/2009 15:44:20 »
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Why does Man put him/herself on such a high pedestal?

i reckon we tend to view things that make sudden, visible changes as powerful compared to those that are slow and more subtle. seeing animals as lower than humans is a bit like seeing a cleaner as lower than a doctor. they both play essential roles in maintaining good health. unfortunately, we tend to value and respect things based on what they can do - to what degree have they been seen to make sudden, visible changes to the world?
 

Offline RD

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #6 on: 02/09/2009 16:15:58 »
Crazy christians...

If they leave their pets behind when rapture comes, they don't even deserve a spot in heaven.
Damn animal haters! ;)


Despite allegedly creating them, Judeo-Christian God is not an animal-lover: he has “previous” for animal cruelty by drowning (flood).  :)
 

Offline Bored chemist

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #7 on: 02/09/2009 19:28:19 »
My idea of heaven doesn't include things that foul the streets and make a lot of noise all night.
 

Offline Geezer

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #8 on: 03/09/2009 00:12:08 »
My idea of heaven doesn't include things that foul the streets and make a lot of noise all night.


That's a rather broad definition. It could include a lot of so-called humans. And some of us don't let our dogs crap all over the place and make a lot of noise. That's not a dog problem, it's human problem.
 

Offline Nizzle

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #9 on: 03/09/2009 06:36:23 »
Crazy christians...

If they leave their pets behind when rapture comes, they don't even deserve a spot in heaven.
Damn animal haters! ;)


Despite allegedly creating them, Judeo-Christian God is not an animal-lover: he has “previous” for animal cruelty by drowning (flood).  :)

Maybe he just wanted all the animals for himself, and left 2 per species for the humans?
Too bad Noah didn't forget the mosquitoes
 

Offline Karen W.

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #10 on: 03/09/2009 17:06:53 »
I hear ya on the mosquitoes!
 

Offline Don_1

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #11 on: 03/09/2009 17:34:05 »
And other blood suckers, like bankers and HM Customs & Revenue!
 

Offline Karen W.

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No dogs allowed in heaven
« Reply #12 on: 04/09/2009 09:54:22 »
YAYYYYYYYYY!!!! LOL...
 

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No dogs allowed in heaven
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