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Author Topic: Bird flu - England beware!  (Read 2611 times)

Offline Corbeille

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Bird flu - England beware!
« on: 28/08/2005 13:32:27 »
Itís only a matter of time until ďbird fluĒ reaches the sceptered isle.  Devastating the poultry industry and decimating the native birds. Up until now the English bird population has happily gone about their daily business of tweeting in the morning, paddling in the village pond and singing in Berkeley square. A picture of contentment familiar through the times of king Harold, Queen Elizabeth I, Winston Churchill, the Kray twins, Queen Diana and David Beckham.  Could you imagine an England so different as to have no ducks, cuckoos, swans or barn owls? Well itís closer than you think.

The disease can only come from one source Ė migrants! Millions of them. About to fly in uninvited and take over whole neighborhoods.

Birds not born in the green and pleasant land but have heard how nice it is and decide to leave their own country for the winter. To feed freely on the produce of Albion without putting anything back. Stealing the cream from a pint of gold-top trustingly left on the doorstep and taking advantage of the demented (sorry, eccentric) old folk who throw crumbs about. Isnít it time to stand up to these freeloaders?

Why canít they stop at the first country they come to? Like France. And they can crap on statues of De Gaulle, Napoleon and Depardeau instead of Nelson, Queen Victoria and Benny Hill. Defenders of liberty not garlic-munching capitulators.

I would suggest they are shot down as the get near the white cliffs, (it stopped the luftwaffe) or emerge from the tunnel but the politically correct commies and socialites would have me locked up in the tower.

So I suggest an compromise -  Tatoos.  

Have all birds checked at the borders and if they sneeze or sniffle or have a suspicious amount of tissues upon them, tattoo them. All native birds will know who they are and not fall for their foreign charms.

And then send them back to where they came from.

Enoch Fowl was right!

"They're all animals anyway. All the animals come out at night"


Offline Razor

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Re: Bird flu - England beware!
« Reply #1 on: 28/08/2005 13:49:18 »
Yeah im concerned about that thing too, my mom said that im wont be going to school not if but when it comes here.
How close is the disease to us?, cause i already know the flu mayjorly hit parts of eastern europe and is closing in fast!
I suggest stocking up on food supplies and clean distilled mineral water, as tap water may also be infected as well.

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Offline Simmer

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Re: Bird flu - England beware!
« Reply #2 on: 29/08/2005 23:11:41 »
Originally posted by Corbeille
Enoch Fowl was right!

LOL :D  Rivers of guano!

Offline ukmicky

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Re: Bird flu - England beware!
« Reply #3 on: 30/08/2005 04:43:09 »
So I suggest an compromise - Tatoos.

Bloody good idea that, im supprised i didnt think of it first.

The only problem is birds are a bit hard to CATCH
« Last Edit: 30/08/2005 19:48:21 by ukmicky »

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Re: Bird flu - England beware!
« Reply #3 on: 30/08/2005 04:43:09 »


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