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Author Topic: Joke of the day  (Read 107849 times)

Offline omid

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #350 on: 29/03/2011 19:55:41 »
What’s this daily charge for ‘fruit’? Demografx asked the hotel manager Jimbob. “We didn’t eat any.” “But the fruit was placed in your room every day. It isn’t our fault you didn’t take advantage of it.” “I see,” said Demografx as he subtracted $150.00 from the bill
“What are you doing”? Sputtered Jimbob.
“I’m subtracting 50 dollars a day for you kissing my wife.”
“What? I didn’t kiss your wife.”
“Ah,” replied Demografx, “but she was there.” [:X] [:X] [:X]



 

Offline omid

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #351 on: 15/04/2011 10:53:24 »
JimBob charged into the jewelry shop, slammed his fists angrily on the showcase, removed a wristwatch from his pocket and shook it under the nose of the owner. “You said this watch would last me a lifetime,” he yelled. “Yeah,” admitted the owner. “But you looked pretty sick the day you bought it.” :D :D :D


 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #352 on: 15/04/2011 15:26:37 »
LOL...LOL...LOL...I love both of those Omid and its good to see you posting again...
 

Offline peppercorn

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #353 on: 15/04/2011 17:27:50 »
LOL...LOL...LOL...I love both of those Omid and its good to see you posting again...
hear hear! :)
 

Offline imatfaal

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #354 on: 15/04/2011 18:39:12 »
Omid's back :-)
 

Offline omid

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #355 on: 16/04/2011 11:06:36 »
 

Offline omid

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #356 on: 16/04/2011 11:10:14 »
Demografx is walking down the street one day when he notices little omid trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, omid is very small and the doorbell is too high for her to reach.
After watching omid's efforts for some time, Demografx moves closer to omid's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the omid's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the omid's level, Demografx smiles and asks, "And now what, my little girl?"
To which omid replies, "Now we run!" :D :D :D

 

Offline omid

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Joke of the day
« Reply #357 on: 17/04/2011 18:38:48 »
Before the wedding day the JimBob told his wife-to-be KarenW: "I want you to be the major of the household to be making the major decisions & I'll just make the general ones" KarenW, having heard that, happily kissed JimBob"
Overheard their conversation, JimBob's friend Demografx, pulled him aside & asked: "Are you crazy? How could she be making all the major decisions in the household!"
JimBob, smiling cautiously whispered to him. “She’s the Major but I'm the General. Get it?" :D :D :D



 

Offline Karen W.

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Joke of the day
« Reply #358 on: 18/04/2011 13:04:58 »
LOL..Very cute Omid!
 

Offline omid

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Joke of the day
« Reply #359 on: 18/04/2011 17:22:21 »
eighty years old John Chapman went to his doctor SeanB to complain about pain in one knee. SeanB examined it gently and said, "Well, you know that knee is eighty years old. You can't expect too much."
"That's true," John Chapman agreed; "but Doc, so is the other one and it's not bothering me like this one!" :D :D :D


 

Offline omid

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Joke of the day
« Reply #360 on: 20/04/2011 14:45:07 »
JimBob, Demografx and BORED Chemist, hell drunk, hailed a taxi. The taxi driver John Chapman seeing that they were so wasted when they got in, he just switched on the engine and switched it off, and said we are here. BORED Chemist gave him money, JimBob said thanks, but Demografx slapped him. John Chapman was stunned because he was hoping that none of them would have realized the car didn't move an inch. So what was that for, John Chapman asked. Control your speed next time, you almost killed us. :D :D :D
 

Offline omid

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Joke of the day
« Reply #361 on: 23/04/2011 11:39:42 »
BORED Chemist and KarenW (the vampires :-X) in their cave. BORED Chemist turns to KarenWand says, "Oh, I'm really thirsty for some fresh blood."
KarenW is amazed and says, "Well, it’s a bit late. Daylight is almost here, and we can't be exposed to any light - you know we'll die." "Yeah, I know," says BORED Chemist, "but I'm really starving for it."
So he went out of the cave and returns five minutes later with blood dripping from his mouth.
"You lucky thing. Where'd you find blood that quick?" asked KarenW.
"You see that tree over there in the distance?" mumbled BORED Chemist, his mouth full of blood.
"Yeah, I think I do!"
"Well, I didn't.":D :D :D


 

Offline Karen W.

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Joke of the day
« Reply #362 on: 24/04/2011 07:00:10 »
LOL...LOL....LOL... poor Bored!
 

Offline omid

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Joke of the day
« Reply #363 on: 30/04/2011 13:33:17 »
BenV: What is the chemical formula for water?
Omid: "HIJKLMNO"!
BenV: What are you talking about?
Omid: Yesterday you said its H to O! :D :D :D



 

Offline peppercorn

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Joke of the day
« Reply #364 on: 02/05/2011 11:47:08 »
BenV: What is the chemical formula for water?
Omid: "HIJKLMNO"!
BenV: What are you talking about?
Omid: Yesterday you said its H to O! :D :D :D

Eggs-allent!  ;D
 

Offline omid

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #365 on: 28/12/2011 22:16:09 »
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.
'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?’ ;D ;D ;D

 

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Re: Joke of the day
« Reply #365 on: 28/12/2011 22:16:09 »

 

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