The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: does a picture say more than a thousand words?  (Read 86538 times)

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #25 on: 14/03/2010 06:56:02 »
I think she's saying, "Take one tonight, and if that does not work, come back and see me in the morning."
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #26 on: 14/03/2010 12:12:18 »
Eh, one what?
 

Offline Bored chemist

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8669
  • Thanked: 42 times
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #27 on: 14/03/2010 20:22:33 »
Exactly! The "tonne" should be abolished.

It would be much less confusing if it were called the meglokilowotsitgram or something.

Yes, Megagram.  An actual unit of measure, abbreviated "Mg".  1 Mg = 1,000 kg = 1 tonne.

There you go! Of course, we know some twit in a hospital is going to get confused and attempt to give 10 Mg of some medication. Hopefully not rectally. Maybe we should just stick with tonnes ;D
Do you think the medicine concerned will be magnesia or Epsom salts?
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #28 on: 15/03/2010 18:55:11 »
For those of you refusing to confront your own scientific truth
The choice stood once between Boris (the airborne frog) and Laika (the Space Dog).

==


==

Now you can say "Oh yeah? That was the day I saw a frog fly."
As you can see, Boris is quite focused and ready for action..

.


== and squared becomes a =

.


.

==
« Last Edit: 15/03/2010 19:34:31 by yor_on »
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #29 on: 18/03/2010 20:05:08 »
Don't know what to say about this one?
There can only be one perhaps?

Or - "Look I'm immortal?"


==



==
(And you better have really good knee joints & muscles too)


 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #30 on: 18/03/2010 20:19:03 »
Holy sh*t! I think a complete lack of imagination would be essential too  ;D
 

Offline geo driver

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 419
  • if you have a smile, share it
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #31 on: 19/03/2010 16:29:59 »
gob smacked
 

Offline geo driver

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 419
  • if you have a smile, share it
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #32 on: 19/03/2010 16:37:17 »
however i reckon the problem lies not in the expression of the artist but the limatation we have in expressing our selves
 

Offline geo driver

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 419
  • if you have a smile, share it
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #33 on: 19/03/2010 16:41:00 »
there are people, poets and writers capable of writing, such silken proses that leave white hot lines and scares across the imagination, yet i am incapable of writing a proper sentence
 

Offline geo driver

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 419
  • if you have a smile, share it
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #34 on: 19/03/2010 16:41:32 »
oh and hows the bike buddy
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #35 on: 21/03/2010 18:50:52 »
Okay :)

And yeah, words are strange things, like artists too :)
He would have a future in Paris that one, don't you think?
I was there once, it's a nice town, with a lot of artistic freedom.
And he's quite expressive..
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #36 on: 22/03/2010 08:51:13 »
Okay, I've always thought that life in the military all to soon would kill off the happy little civilian in me, instead making me a man, proud to be so too, ah, possibly. .? But, I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one failing in this..

==
Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

A quick note:
I don’t mind if you want to quote a few items from my list of your site. But please do not copy the list in it’s entirety.

Explanations of these events:
a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz…what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? “Um….a rubber sheep…I can explain why that’s there….”)

To explain how I’ve stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly….. I’m funny, so they let me live.

The 213 Things….

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working.

2. My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”.

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.

9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.

11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.

12. Not allowed to join any militia.

13. Not allowed to form any militia.

14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.

15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!”

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.

17. God may not contradict any of my orders.

18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.

20. Must not taunt the French any more.

21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

22. Must never call an SAS a “ [:I]”.

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.

24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.

25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.

26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!”

27. Don’t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).

28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)

36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.

38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.

39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

40. I do not have super-powers.

41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message.

42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.

43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

44. I am not the atheist chaplain.

45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.

46. I am not authorized to fire officers.

47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.

48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”.

50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.

51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations.

52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range.

53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

55. An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does *not* involve fruit.

56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape.

57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”

58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, **** puppy, or any references to squid.

59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.

60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command.

==

There are more, but as one have to bow to Skippy's wish and as I don't want him to make that black voodoo on me ( I might have left prints visiting) I will have to direct you to his Site for the rest of them..

A m** lapse of vision 

===

Okay Skippy, just a few more, pleasee..
NOo0o, Don't do that voodo that you do, so well.




Skippy: Are we awake?
Yoron: We're not sure. Are we... black?
Skippy: Yes, we are.
Yoron: Then we're awake... but we're very puzzled.


Ahem

==

61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean “I have been promoted three more times than you”.

62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.

64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay.

65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.

66. There is no “Anti-Mime” campaign in Bosnia.

67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.

68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to “Block out the space mind control lasers”.

69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty.

70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication.

71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command.

72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty.

73. No military functions are to be performed “Skyclad”.

74. Woad is not camouflage makeup.

75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command.

76. “Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around” is *not* a cadence.

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.”

78. I may not call block my chain of command.

79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.

80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions.

81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance.

82. May not form any press gangs.

83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with “I recently had an experience I just had to write you about….”

84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things.

85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident.

86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the “field of honor”.

87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as “Mom”.

89. Must not refer to the Commander as “Dad”.

90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection.

91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad.

92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony “Romper Bomper Stomper Boo” is probably not appropriate.

93. Nerve gas is not funny.

94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.

95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body.

96. “Redneck Zombies” is not a military training aid.

97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator.

98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.”

99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

===

There are 113 left at Skippy's site, and I better stop reading them.
I'm already getting ideas...

A m** lapse of vision
« Last Edit: 22/03/2010 10:45:08 by yor_on »
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #37 on: 22/03/2010 09:11:07 »
And this one, for those that like me all to late realized that they would have been awesome pilots, although in this particular case, perhaps the pilots bestest friend, sort of? And as you can see it's a lovely aircraft, all of them in fact. With the most amazing pilots you ever will meet steering them. My kind of air force I have to say :)

211th Sqn CZAF 2009 calendar. 

May they always make the softest of landings.
And if you can find me the calendar for 2010 I'll be you forever grateful..
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #38 on: 12/04/2010 07:06:57 »
So you don't know the size of things?

Well, lucky for you then that this, ah, guy? Have made a flash explaining it all, except towels though? I didn't see any towel there? Wanna travel, grow? Come take a trip with me.
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #39 on: 17/04/2010 20:01:49 »
You know, sometimes life can be hard.
Really really hard, then it might help to try to remember that feeling you had when you was young. To go back and search for that feeling that everything is possible, every day was new and fresh and you just knew that life was there for you.

This kid might help you remember :)

Blind? Who ?? Me? 
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #40 on: 18/04/2010 00:50:37 »
That's amazing!
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #41 on: 20/04/2010 12:00:58 »
Why we all look up to Pigeons.
===



=

And For those of you sinning to much..

====


Now go, and sin no more.
==

.


(It's always good to have one in reserve. Just in case.)
« Last Edit: 20/04/2010 12:10:56 by yor_on »
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #42 on: 02/05/2010 02:26:15 »
Now this link is sort of serious. And not too fun either.
It's all about corruption.
Human corruption.

It can happen to us all, not this serious hopefully. But in other, more limited, circumstances we all are susceptible to it. And they comes in many forms, but to me they are all about the same thing, corruption of humanity and all that are good in us. The objectification of others to something less than human. And therefore open for manipulations, going all the way to killing for fun. If you don't like the link I can understand it, but it is still a good one, and for a good purpose.

Wiki Leaks   
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #43 on: 15/09/2010 16:50:27 »
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #44 on: 15/09/2010 16:57:53 »
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #45 on: 16/09/2010 04:23:26 »
Just want to share this all time pearl by Mark Twain with you. Reading it always make me smile.

==
Title:     The How I Edited An Agricultural Paper
Author: Mark Twain.


I did not take temporary editorship of an agricultural paper without misgivings. Neither would a landsman take command of a ship without misgivings. But I was in circumstances that made the salary an object. The regular editor of the paper was going off for a holiday, and I accepted the terms he offered, and took his place.

The sensation of being at work again was luxurious, and I wrought all the week with unflagging pleasure. We went to press, and I waited a day with some solicitude to see whether my effort was going to attract any notice. As I left the office, toward sundown, a group of men and boys at the foot of the stairs dispersed with one impulse, and gave me passageway, and I heard one or two of them say: "That's him!" I was naturally pleased by this incident. The next morning I found a similar group at the foot of the stairs, and scattering couples and individuals standing here and there in the street and over the way, watching me with interest. The group separated and fell back as I approached, and I heard a man say, "Look at his eye!" I pretended not to observe the notice I was attracting, but secretly I was pleased with it, and was purposing to write an account of it to my aunt. I went up the short flight of stairs, and heard cheery voices and a ringing laugh as I drew near the door, which I opened, and caught a glimpse of two young rural-looking men, whose faces blanched and lengthened when they saw me, and then they both plunged through the window with a great crash. I was surprised.

In about half an hour an old gentleman, with a flowing beard and a fine but rather austere face, entered, and sat down at my invitation. He seemed to have something on his mind. He took off his hat and set it on the floor, and got out of it a red silk handkerchief and a copy of our paper.

He put the paper on his lap, and while he polished his spectacles with his handkerchief he said, "Are you the new editor?"

I said I was.

"Have you ever edited an agricultural paper before?"

"No," I said; "this is my first attempt."

"Very likely. Have you had any experience in agriculture practically?"

"No; I believe I have not."

"Some instinct told me so," said the old gentleman, putting on his spectacles, and looking over them at me with asperity, while he folded his paper into a convenient shape. "I wish to read you what must have made me have that instinct. It was this editorial. Listen, and see if it was you that wrote it:

"'Turnips should never be pulled, it injures them. It is much better to send a boy up and let him shake the tree.'

"Now, what do you think of that? for I really suppose you wrote it?"

"Think of it? Why, I think it is good. I think it is sense. I have no doubt that every year millions and millions of bushels of turnips are spoiled in this township alone by being pulled in a half-ripe condition, when, if they had sent a boy up to shake the tree--"

"Shake your grandmother! Turnips don't grow on trees!"

"Oh, they don't, don't they? Well, who said they did? The language was intended to be figurative, wholly figurative. Anybody that knows anything will know that I meant that the boy should shake the vine."

Then this old person got up and tore his paper all into small shreds, and stamped on them, and broke several things with his cane, and said I did not know as much as a cow; and then went--out and banged the door after him, and, in short, acted in such a way that I fancied he was displeased about something. But not knowing what the trouble was, I could not be any help to him.

Pretty soon after this a long, cadaverous creature, with lanky locks hanging down to his shoulders, and a week's stubble bristling from the hills and valleys of his face, darted within the door, and halted, motionless, with finger on lip, and head and body bent in listening attitude. No sound was heard.

Still he listened. No sound. Then he turned the key in the door, and came elaborately tiptoeing toward me till he was within long reaching distance of me, when he stopped and, after scanning my face with intense interest for a while, drew a folded copy of our paper from his bosom, and said:

"There, you wrote that. Read it to me--quick! Relieve me. I suffer."

I read as follows; and as the sentences fell from my lips I could see the relief come, I could see the drawn muscles relax, and the anxiety go out of the face, and rest and peace steal over the features like the merciful moonlight over a desolate landscape:

The guano is a fine bird, but great care is necessary in rearing it. It should not be imported earlier than June or later than September. In the winter it should be kept in a warm place, where it can hatch out its young.

It is evident that we are to have a backward season for grain. Therefore it will be well for the farmer to begin setting out his corn-stalks and planting his buckwheat cakes in July instead of August.

Concerning the pumpkin. This berry is a favorite with the natives of the interior of New England, who prefer it to the gooseberry for the making of fruit-cake, and who likewise give it the preference over the raspberry for feeding cows, as being more filling and fully as satisfying. The pumpkin is the only esculent of the orange family that will thrive in the North, except the gourd and one or two varieties of the squash. But the custom of planting it in the front yard with the shrubbery is fast going out of vogue, for it is now generally conceded that, the pumpkin as a shade tree is a failure.

Now, as the warm weather approaches, and the ganders begin to spawn--

The excited listener sprang toward me to shake hands, and said:

"There, there--that will do. I know I am all right now, because you have read it just as I did, word, for word. But, stranger, when I first read it this morning, I said to myself, I never, never believed it before, notwithstanding my friends kept me under watch so strict, but now I believe I am crazy; and with that I fetched a howl that you might have heard two miles, and started out to kill somebody--because, you know, I knew it would come to that sooner or later, and so I might as well begin. I read one of them paragraphs over again, so as to be certain, and then I burned my house down and started. I have crippled several people, and have got one fellow up a tree, where I can get him if I want him. But I thought I would call in here as I passed along and make the thing perfectly certain; and now it is certain, and I tell you it is lucky for the chap that is in the tree. I should have killed him sure, as I went back. Good-by, sir, good-by; you have taken a great load off my mind. My reason has stood the strain of one of your agricultural articles, and I know that nothing can ever unseat it now. Good-by, sir."

I felt a little uncomfortable about the cripplings and arsons this person had been entertaining himself with, for I could not help feeling remotely accessory to them. But these thoughts were quickly banished, for the regular editor walked in! [I thought to myself, Now if you had gone to Egypt as I recommended you to, I might have had a chance to get my hand in; but you wouldn't do it, and here you are. I sort of expected you.]

The editor was looking sad and perplexed and dejected.

He surveyed the wreck which that old rioter and those two young farmers had made, and then said "This is a sad business--a very sad business. There is the mucilage-bottle broken, and six panes of glass, and a spittoon, and two candlesticks. But that is not the worst. The reputation of the paper is injured--and permanently, I fear. True, there never was such a call for the paper before, and it never sold such a large edition or soared to such celebrity; but does one want to be famous for lunacy, and prosper upon the infirmities of his mind? My friend, as I am an honest man, the street out here is full of people, and others are roosting on the fences, waiting to get a glimpse of you, because they think you are crazy. And well they might after reading your editorials. They are a disgrace to journalism. Why, what put it into your head that you could edit a paper of this nature? You do not seem to know the first rudiments of agriculture. You speak of a furrow and a harrow as being the same thing; you talk of the moulting season for cows; and you recommend the domestication of the pole-cat on account of its playfulness and its excellence as a ratter! Your remark that clams will lie quiet if music be played to them was superfluous--entirely superfluous. Nothing disturbs clams. Clams always lie quiet. Clams care nothing whatever about music. Ah, heavens and earth, friend! if you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could to-day. I never saw anything like it. Your observation that the horse-chestnut as an article of commerce is steadily gaining in favor is simply calculated to destroy this journal. I want you to throw up your situation and go. I want no more holiday--I could not enjoy it if I had it. Certainly not with you in my chair. I would always stand in dread of what you might be going to recommend next. It makes me lose all patience every time I think of your discussing oyster-beds under the head of 'Landscape Gardening.' I want you to go. Nothing on earth could persuade me to take another holiday. Oh! why didn't you tell me you didn't know anything about agriculture?"

"Tell you, you corn-stalk, you cabbage, you son of a cauliflower? It's the first time I ever heard such an unfeeling remark. I tell you I have been in the editorial business going on fourteen years, and it is the first time I ever heard of a man's having to know anything in order to edit a newspaper. You turnip! Who write the dramatic critiques for the second-rate papers? Why, a parcel of promoted shoemakers and apprentice apothecaries, who know just as much about good acting as I do about good farming and no more. Who review the books? People who never wrote one. Who do up the heavy leaders on finance? Parties who have had the largest opportunities for knowing nothing about it. Who criticize the Indian campaigns? Gentlemen who do not know a war-whoop from a wigwam, and who never have had to run a foot-race with a tomahawk, or pluck arrows out of the several members of their families to build the evening camp-fire with. Who write the temperance appeals, and clamor about the flowing bowl? Folks who will never draw another sober breath till they do it in the grave. Who edit the agricultural papers, you--yam? Men, as a general thing, who fail in the poetry line, yellow-colored novel line, sensation, drama line, city-editor line, and finally fall back on agriculture as a temporary reprieve from the poorhouse. You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands. Heaven knows if I had but been ignorant instead of cultivated, and impudent instead of diffident, I could have made a name for myself in this cold, selfish world. I take my leave, sir. Since I have been treated as you have treated me, I am perfectly willing to go. But I have done my duty. I have fulfilled my contract as far as I was permitted to do it. I said I could make your paper of interest to all classes--and I have. I said I could run your circulation up to twenty thousand copies, and if I had had two more weeks I'd have done it. And I'd have given you the best class of readers that ever an agricultural paper had--not a farmer in it, nor a solitary individual who could tell a watermelon-tree from a peach-vine to save his life. You are the loser by this rupture, not me, Pie-plant. Adios."

I then left.

-THE END-
[Clemens] Mark Twain's short story: The How I Edited An Agricultural Paper
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #46 on: 24/09/2010 16:06:20 »
So how about it?

Do you believe in witchcraft?



Well, I thought the idea of evil witches was dead since long ago.
But it seems I was wrong.

Read this please.
and, if you don't believe in them, why not sign the petition too? 

It may be to late for her, but maybe, it will help the next 'witch'?
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #47 on: 24/09/2010 20:24:21 »
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."

Now, if it were up to me, there might be quite a few more impotent folks.
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #48 on: 28/09/2010 06:14:53 »
?
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11999
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #49 on: 28/09/2010 12:53:35 »
Ready for lift off?
Where ever did you find that one Geezer :)

Could it be Mad Max's girlfriend?
Minnie the muse?
==

Lotto. The biggest risk of becoming a millionaire
« Last Edit: 28/09/2010 14:01:25 by yor_on »
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

does a picture say more than a thousand words?
« Reply #49 on: 28/09/2010 12:53:35 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums