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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 956962 times)

Offline demografx

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First lesson of the day:

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
« Last Edit: 05/10/2015 20:49:28 by demografx »


 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1 on: 18/05/2010 21:16:09 »
Second lesson

A castrated pig gets disgruntled
« Last Edit: 28/07/2012 02:45:31 by demografx »
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2 on: 18/05/2010 21:17:08 »
Third Lesson

If your boyfriend goes out, get a match and light him again
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3 on: 18/05/2010 21:18:52 »
Fourth Lesson

My hairdresser isn't cutting hair any longer, she is cutting it shorter though.
 

Offline LeeE

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4 on: 19/05/2010 13:05:56 »
If it's a funny old world, why isn't everyone laughing?
 

Offline Bored chemist

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #5 on: 19/05/2010 19:19:06 »
If it's true that "you are what you eat" why are we not all new and improved?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #6 on: 19/05/2010 23:50:33 »
                                                

Thieves broke into New Scotland Yard last night and stole all the toilet bowls.

A police spokesman said that they have nothing to go on.

         
« Last Edit: 24/05/2010 23:16:07 by demografx »
 
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Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #7 on: 20/05/2010 20:48:28 »
A big hole has developed onthe M3. Police are looking into it!
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #8 on: 20/05/2010 20:50:12 »
A man who stole a hold all in an airport asked for three other cases to be taken into consideration.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #9 on: 21/05/2010 06:48:43 »
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.
 

Offline LeeE

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #10 on: 21/05/2010 16:14:45 »
Latest news: Elevator sent down in controversial court case!
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #11 on: 22/05/2010 04:00:54 »
With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #12 on: 22/05/2010 04:16:50 »
Does dark matter?
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #13 on: 22/05/2010 04:24:59 »
If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #14 on: 23/05/2010 00:38:19 »
If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?

Because most of us are scotched by that type of pun
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #15 on: 24/05/2010 07:10:52 »

Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #16 on: 24/05/2010 07:16:23 »

With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.


And with foresight??
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #17 on: 24/05/2010 08:19:36 »

Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.


That reminds me of another one.

"She was only an Admiral's daughter, but WOOP WOOP CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED WOOP WOOP"
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #18 on: 24/05/2010 20:20:23 »

She was only an Admiral's daughter...


She was only a statistician's daughter, but she knew all the standard deviations.
 

Offline Bored chemist

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #19 on: 24/05/2010 20:58:36 »
...telegraphist's daughter... did dit dit dit
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #20 on: 24/05/2010 21:08:52 »

...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #21 on: 27/05/2010 21:58:44 »


A big hole has developed on the M3. Police are looking into it!


Similarly, a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #22 on: 29/05/2010 02:41:00 »

...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.

Could you past 'er the peas?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #23 on: 29/05/2010 06:43:20 »
                         
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #24 on: 30/05/2010 03:28:31 »

                     
« Last Edit: 30/05/2010 20:26:56 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #24 on: 30/05/2010 03:28:31 »

 

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