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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 961080 times)

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1100 on: 16/01/2011 01:48:20 »
Pardon me dude, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?
« Last Edit: 16/01/2011 02:42:15 by Geezer »
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1101 on: 16/01/2011 03:01:33 »

Will you punctilious punters please pole your punt punctually to the place for puny punks?


Geezer, Geewhiz, what in Geeziz name would make Gearz like ours spin like Whirling Geervishez and defy Laws of Geezravity???
« Last Edit: 16/01/2011 06:26:23 by demografx »
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1102 on: 19/01/2011 18:12:14 »
Is a counteroffensive French for somebody that can't do arithmetic?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1103 on: 19/01/2011 21:01:33 »
No, the counteroffensive is really just the aftermath of the teacher grading his arithmetic.
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1104 on: 20/01/2011 00:44:45 »
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1105 on: 20/01/2011 04:19:33 »

Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?


When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1106 on: 20/01/2011 15:37:27 »
I think you have mist the point.
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1107 on: 20/01/2011 15:56:27 »
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?

need a pair of shoes?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1108 on: 20/01/2011 21:40:40 »

Don, is that the sole place they can be found?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1109 on: 20/01/2011 21:45:09 »

I think you have mist the point.


True. I usually don't have the foggiest notion.
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1110 on: 21/01/2011 00:16:09 »

Don, is that the sole place they can be found?

I understand they also franchise them to "Cobblers At Last"
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1111 on: 21/01/2011 00:50:43 »


Of course! They even supplied the old-time rockers when they performed "Blue Suede Shoes".
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1112 on: 21/01/2011 04:30:40 »
I didn't know they did that one. I thought it was "Glue Made Hooves"
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1113 on: 21/01/2011 07:29:39 »


No,you're confusing it with "Johnny B. Glued". The publishing rights were recently bought by Bill Gaits. And did he ever pony up a small fortune to buy it!
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1114 on: 21/01/2011 12:50:52 »
........ "Glue Made Hooves"

I'll bet you're knackered after working that one out.
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1115 on: 21/01/2011 13:11:52 »
'Er indoors broke the heel off her shoe the other day, so she took it to the cobblers to be healed.

Over the door was a royal crest and the legend 'By Appointment, Cobblers to the Queen'. Would that constitute treason? Could he have his tongue cut out for not being in step with popular notions? Has he reached the upper limit? Should we take out his eyes for not toeing the line? Would he realise if he were first laced with vodka? What would be the last thing he would ever see? Call the police, quickly, to deal with this man, get that famous detective Slipper of the Yard to investigate.

Does this very nearly cap it all? I hope you can read it all, I should hate to have to revamp it.
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1116 on: 21/01/2011 13:16:58 »


.... The publishing rights were recently bought by Bill Gaits. And did he ever pony up a small fortune to buy it!


He took it in his stride.
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1117 on: 21/01/2011 14:13:32 »
Alternative soliloquy to Shookarrow's mild cigar.

To b, or not to b, wasp's dilemma.

To c, or not to c, optician's dilemma.

To d, or not to d, tomorrow's dilemma.

To e, or not to e, Fosters dilemma.

To f, or not to f, dentist's dilemma.

To g, or not to g, horse's dilemma.

To h, or not to h, another dentist's dilemma.

To i, or not to i, upper class footballer's dilemma.

To j, or not to j, pedestrian's dilemma.

To k, or not to k, Gecko's dilemma.

To l, or not to l, St Peter's dilemma.

To m, or not to m, grave digger's dilemma.

To n, or not to n, composer's dilemma.

To o, or to it, owl's dilemma.

To p, or not to p,

To q, or not to q, bus passengers' dilemma.

To r, or not to r, guide's dilemma.

To s, or not to s, chiropodist's dilemma.

To t, or not to t, fruit's dilemma.

To u, or not to u, Ram's dilemma.

To v, or not to v, auctioneer's dilemma.

To w, or not to w, mathematician's dilemma.

To x, or not to x, breakfast's dilemma.

To y, or not to y, inquisitor's dilemma.

I've z and I shall zay no more.
« Last Edit: 22/01/2011 13:16:45 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1118 on: 21/01/2011 19:21:00 »
'Er indoors broke the heel off her shoe the other day, so she took it to the cobblers to be healed.

Over the door was a royal crest and the legend 'By Appointment, Cobblers to the Queen'. Would that constitute treason? Could he have his tongue cut out for not being in step with popular notions? Has he reached the upper limit? Should we take out his eyes for not toeing the line? Would he realise if he were first laced with vodka? What would be the last thing he would ever see? Call the police, quickly, to deal with this man, get that famous detective Slipper of the Yard to investigate.

Does this very nearly cap it all? I hope you can read it all, I should hate to have to revamp it.

Wow! I hereby nominate Don as a shoe-in for this award below!

« Last Edit: 21/01/2011 22:07:52 by demografx »
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1119 on: 21/01/2011 19:24:21 »
Maybe he should get the boot  ;D
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1120 on: 21/01/2011 22:04:12 »

Maybe he should get the boot  ;D


And for Geezer's pun above, he gets THIS award!



(Sorry, Geezer, but I could only find 2 left feet ;D )
« Last Edit: 22/01/2011 00:39:43 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1121 on: 21/01/2011 22:20:31 »

To p, or not to p,


oooooooo...urine trouble now!
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1122 on: 22/01/2011 04:55:17 »


(Sorry, Geezer, but I could only find 2 left feet ;D )

Canadians wouldn't care aboot that.
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1123 on: 22/01/2011 05:15:45 »

Eh?
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1124 on: 22/01/2011 06:19:30 »
Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1124 on: 22/01/2011 06:19:30 »

 

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