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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 960039 times)

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1200 on: 14/02/2011 20:25:11 »


Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.


Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!


I know it's hard, but will you try to refrain yourself, and refrain from making similar remarks in future.


So, shall we refrain from making this a refrain?


Refrain? Of chorus we will!
 

Offline tbarron

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1201 on: 15/02/2011 12:34:31 »
Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?

She had trouble with her pupils.

Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.

That gave her bacteria.
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1202 on: 15/02/2011 19:51:38 »


Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?

She had trouble with her pupils.


Yes, one of her pupils was suspended for cheating after eyeing another pupil's exam sheet!
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1203 on: 15/02/2011 20:35:51 »
Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?

She had trouble with her pupils.

Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.

That gave her bacteria.

I bet that got up her humps. Maybe she was a bacterian?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1204 on: 15/02/2011 21:49:51 »


This one?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1205 on: 16/02/2011 22:47:39 »

Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.

That gave her bacteria.


I thought that was the back door to a cafeteria!
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1206 on: 20/02/2011 02:44:11 »
Speaking of doors....there is only one way to open the door and that is the key.
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1207 on: 20/02/2011 14:42:42 »
I don't like skinny keys or fat keys, but I don't mind keys which are a little chubby.
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1208 on: 20/02/2011 17:36:54 »
I say put the chubby keys on a diet. Fat chance they'll do it?
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1209 on: 21/02/2011 06:04:42 »
These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1210 on: 21/02/2011 11:08:26 »
These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.

I hope Mrs Geezer doesn't see that, you might have trouble explaining yourself.


I hear Yale University is relockating it's school of carpentry to Florida's Key West. They hope to teach students how to make the perfect mortice and tennon joint.
« Last Edit: 21/02/2011 11:10:03 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1211 on: 21/02/2011 20:53:23 »

These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.


 :o ;D ::) :o ;D ::)
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1212 on: 21/02/2011 21:38:29 »

I hear Yale University is relockating it's school of carpentry to Florida's Key West. They hope to teach students how to make the perfect mortice and tennon joint.


What? Are you operating on all cylinders??? Teaching students how to make a superior combination of mortice and tennon joints will be addressed by Yale University's keynote speaker, who will unlock the secret to the school of carpentry's success, that is, a much more suitable relockation to Woodmere, Long Island, New York! Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1213 on: 21/02/2011 23:24:05 »
Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.


Woody like me to be a guest cabinet speaker?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1214 on: 22/02/2011 06:17:30 »

Woody ever! But you're in enough trouble already with your chubby and now your woody...
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1215 on: 22/02/2011 10:32:59 »
Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.


Woody like me to be a guest cabinet speaker?

Yes, indeed e wood.

You must address the chair of the cabinet, whereupon you may table a motion. Be careful not to go against the grain, theses people are knot to be trifled with. They pine for the unaccustomed speaker.

Should your motion be carpeted, you can cushion the effect. you must display unity, but know where to drawer the line.

If your wife wishes to be present, I shall be happy to joiner and will be pleased to furnish you with more tips and help you polish your speach (or spapricot) if required.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1216 on: 22/02/2011 16:43:04 »


Once again, Don walks away with an Excellence Award!

« Last Edit: 25/02/2011 00:29:01 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1217 on: 23/02/2011 13:47:22 »
How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1218 on: 23/02/2011 16:01:53 »

How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.


This is sick, but the only one I could come up with. The frog went unnoticed in the milkshake because it blended so well.
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1219 on: 23/02/2011 16:08:37 »

These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.


 :o ;D ::) :o ;D ::)


And let's not forget The Chubby Award for Geezer!

« Last Edit: 25/02/2011 00:30:25 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1220 on: 23/02/2011 17:47:05 »

How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.


This is sick, but the only one I could come up with. The frog went unnoticed in the milkshake because it blended so well.


A pun, a pun, my Kingdom for a pun.


Or should that be a horse?



"Horse", I said, deaf head.
« Last Edit: 23/02/2011 17:52:27 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1221 on: 23/02/2011 19:16:04 »
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
 

Offline Geezer

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1222 on: 24/02/2011 00:16:32 »
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.

It could be if you've been coffin a lot. BTW, do undertakers have to go to a lot of rehearsals?
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1223 on: 24/02/2011 04:46:16 »
Geezer, that's a terrible cough you've got. Consumption be done about it?
 

Offline Donnah

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1224 on: 24/02/2011 06:26:32 »
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.

If you're manely horse it's a cinch to trot over to the centaur of town and get some colt medication, unless you want to just ride it out.  If you have hayfever you might wish for rein.
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1224 on: 24/02/2011 06:26:32 »

 

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