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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 963018 times)

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1250 on: 02/03/2011 15:03:50 »
Speaking of clothing, has anyone ever had a Clothes Encounter?

Yes inded I have and would like to hear of any other such clothes shaves, so sock it to me.

Shall I tell you about it? (pants in anticipation)

I had been working on the Egyptian finds sponsored by Lord Cardigan. It was getting late and I had had enough of work, so I thought I would jacket in for the day. On my way home I decided to skirt around the town. Traffic was still heavy and drivers were getting shirty. 'Button your lip' I said to one as he zipped up the hard shoulder pad. Just then I saw a jumper on the bridge, so I put my boot down. He looked laced with booze. I continued gown down the road until I reached Bromley By Bow, where my need for a visit to the loo got almost too much to bare. I thought I would have to tie a knot in it. I stopped and went to the loo. Upon my return a copper felt my collar. "Ello, allo, ello, you can't park 'ere sur." He said.

Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.

But...... but....... but the vest is yet to come.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1251 on: 02/03/2011 15:57:07 »


Gus Albert didn't show up, so Don proudly claims the Award!!
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1252 on: 02/03/2011 16:04:29 »

Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.


That was a snappy reply!
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1253 on: 04/03/2011 15:46:22 »

Oi! Where's me post?


Not sure, but we'll keep you posted.
 

Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1254 on: 05/03/2011 12:12:14 »
Probably was transferred to the round bit filing system...........

Or removed to the new popular board......./dev/null

 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1255 on: 05/03/2011 20:06:18 »
Sean, I'm not sure. I've been to the new popular board...../dev/null.

They insist that the only way to find Geezer's post is by contacting the post office.

Perhaps through your contacts, you know the Postmaster General?
 

Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1256 on: 06/03/2011 11:06:34 »
I do not know the PMG, but have asked one of his minions as to the POSiTion of the search for the post, and he replied that it was found, but that the post office it was in was a little slow, and the only postman that knew the POSiTion of the post in question was absent from his post, and that if he did not return soon the post would be declared vacant. If that is verified then the post in question would be untraceable and would probably end up at the dead letters office, where it's disPOSiTion would be hard to say.
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1257 on: 07/03/2011 03:33:38 »
Sean, this is quickly becoming an imPOsSTible situation for Geezer!

Surely, he will now blame me for POSTulating the wrong formulae for retrieving it, and POsSTibly even have my photograph shown in each POST office for my heinous offense!

He might even "go postal" on me!!
« Last Edit: 07/03/2011 03:38:24 by demografx »
 

Offline Geezer

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« Reply #1258 on: 07/03/2011 06:09:18 »
If you mofos don't knock it off PDQ, the only postal thing will be postmortem.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1259 on: 07/03/2011 17:42:47 »
mofos? I'm reporting you to Martha FoCor! (Forum Contributor)

PDQ? nah, just go Bach to what you were doing!

Postmortem? Don't be anal: over-analysis leads to paralysis!
« Last Edit: 07/03/2011 17:47:06 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1260 on: 08/03/2011 07:08:03 »
and immobility gets you nowhere.

Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?

Karen's so cool!  When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1261 on: 08/03/2011 16:39:14 »
This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html

Doze anyone have a comment to make?
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1262 on: 08/03/2011 23:40:51 »

Karen's so cool!  When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.


Whew! I had to read that twice!
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1263 on: 09/03/2011 11:55:39 »
This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html

Doze anyone have a comment to make?

I wouldn't dream of it. It snore t my position to do so.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1264 on: 09/03/2011 20:36:29 »

It snore t my position to do so.


Well, since Christmas is only 300 days away...

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there.  One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his reindeer.  Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one it was.  It happened again, only louder this time.  “Snort sniff honk honk snort!”

Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark.  “Shhh!” Santa hissed.  “Please be quiet!”

He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!” Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.

Santa was horrified.  Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole.  He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!”

None of the reindeer stepped forward.

Santa held up a piece of paper. “I know who it is and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own.”

Still none of the reindeer came forward.  So Santa did the only thing he could do.  He read off the rude-nosed reindeer…
« Last Edit: 09/03/2011 20:40:56 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1265 on: 10/03/2011 16:42:32 »

 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1266 on: 10/03/2011 16:53:02 »
Coming up March 17: St. Patrick's Day

I'm green with envy, I'm not Irish.
 

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« Reply #1268 on: 10/03/2011 16:58:40 »
I'm green with envy,

Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1269 on: 10/03/2011 17:10:40 »
Envy and i are able to work that out.
 

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« Reply #1270 on: 10/03/2011 17:31:37 »

Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?


I don't actually know, he is so cleverly chameflaged, disguys really good at it. And besides, how much can I really tell since we only once shared a Chame Milo T[ea]?
 

Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1271 on: 10/03/2011 18:57:24 »
Well since we are talking about tea for two, let's talk about the split personality of our March saint and how green became the color of the day.  Did Pat bring yellow and rick bring blue into the mix?
 

Offline Donnah

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« Reply #1272 on: 10/03/2011 19:21:24 »
This is not a pun, it's a poem about the award-winning Karen

I see Karen W. and how she behaves
She's clever and witty in so many ways
And though I don't know her I sense she puts others first
Sharing water before quenching her thirst
Supportive, loving, and lending an ear
When those she loves have questions or fears
She smiles when she's happy, she smiles when she's sad
She smiles her way through both the good and the bad
And though you are modest, the human pillar you are
Touches those around you, the near and the far
And so, Lady Karen, you're that rare, special kind
So richly deserving your own turn to shine.
 ;D
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1273 on: 11/03/2011 06:33:25 »

Donnah, that was truly beautiful!  :)
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1274 on: 11/03/2011 06:54:53 »
Everyone, Easter is coming soon!

My favorite rapper is the Easter bunny, he's really in to hip hop.
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1274 on: 11/03/2011 06:54:53 »

 

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