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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 956048 times)

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1525 on: 25/07/2011 16:58:35 »
Oh! Just bourget it!
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1526 on: 25/07/2011 17:47:57 »


Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.


You're right but give me a chance, it's still Orly in the morning for me to Field a question like that!



Oh! Just bourget it!


Charles de Gaulle? Orly? Bourget? Oh sure, they're very good, but not as good as the Beijing airport. Why, there, they even have a whole lot of Chinese checkers!

« Last Edit: 27/07/2011 05:47:51 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1527 on: 25/07/2011 23:07:27 »
That's to make sure people are Oriented properly.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1528 on: 25/07/2011 23:59:17 »
Yes! And once they're properly Oriented, they can get in to the Express lines!
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1529 on: 26/07/2011 10:32:58 »
I'm having trouble keeping track of this....... What was I going to say? Nope, its no good, I've lost my train of thought. I'd best leave it to you two esteamed members.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1530 on: 27/07/2011 02:26:01 »


You know what I like about you? You never  try to railroad us with your train of thought! But I just can't figure out which engine fuels your desires.

Hmm. Your station in life must be important, that's the ticket! So what's the next stop for you? Whatever it is, you're a man with no patience for delays! Your schedule is prompt and our timetables must simply be made to keep chugging along with yours!!




« Last Edit: 27/07/2011 02:40:35 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1531 on: 27/07/2011 09:01:22 »
Water loot of puns in one post! You must have let the air get to your head for that lot, have you had a crewe cut? Some of those puns have been waiting to be used for a long time, the sleepers of the punning world. Which points me in the direction of the old boiler of the station mistress. She would always check the money tendered for fares taken by her son in the ticket office. He was nothing like her, no 'chip off the old block', so we assumed she was 'in loco parentis'. She would get all steamed up if he made a mistake, or something along those lines. She was never on the level, crossing him off her list of good employees, until he blew the whistle on her.

Water tower of lies she came out with at the tribunal, siding with the company all the time. After the proceedings, her son said "Asleft me shocked. I can't believe the way she was crowing on."
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1532 on: 27/07/2011 19:59:03 »


Don_1 is hereby awarded The Punning Thread Water Tower Fame Award. SONY Pictures will certainly feature Don in their next blockbuster (and water film it will be!)




Next, Don will be flown to Lucerne, Switzerland to see water certainly the most progressive ways the city works with Water Tower lighting and architecture!




Finally, Don will be whisked to one of the most luxurious establishments water known for its award-winning amenities!




Almost forgot to mention water all-paid season tickets to any and all theatrical performances in London that can train him to improve his already well-honed craft!




Don, you do us all proud here at Punning Thread!




« Last Edit: 27/07/2011 20:20:32 by demografx »
 

Offline Airthumbs

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1533 on: 28/07/2011 00:13:22 »
If you watch the clapping black and white people for more then 30secs it becomes quite disturbing!!
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1534 on: 28/07/2011 03:50:46 »
No, they're all white.
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1535 on: 28/07/2011 04:02:15 »
Today, July 28th is 

National Milk Chocolate Day!
http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/July/milkchocolateday.htm

We can always use an udder reason for a special treat!
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1536 on: 28/07/2011 05:00:01 »

...we assumed she was 'in loco parentis'.


Why? Then what would have been the motive?
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1537 on: 28/07/2011 09:10:35 »
National milk chocolate day!!!!!!!!!!

YIPEE

No time for puns now, I have some serious scoffing to do......

« Last Edit: 28/07/2011 09:13:25 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1538 on: 28/07/2011 10:00:37 »
I recall an old honey of mine whom I was very sweet on. We would Nestle down in the park Rown trees or in front of the TV to watch Coco the clown.
"How candy do that without hurting himself?" She would ask.
She would dream of the day Her sheyp would come in.
"Where are your parents tonight?" I asked and she replied, "Oh, Mars gone to the farm to tend to the cows. Its her milky way to a bountyful milking in the morning and my step Dad, Terry's gone down the pub."
"In that case" I wispaed "show us your snickers!" She laughed and said "You cad, bury that idea." Then she flaked out on the floor.

I think in heinzight, it was a bit krafty, even though I had bought her an Airfix model of a cat........ (WAIT FOR IT......) She had always wanted a kit-kat.



Time for some more chocy now.....
« Last Edit: 28/07/2011 10:07:17 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1539 on: 28/07/2011 19:54:01 »


Time for some more chocy now.....


I hereby second that emotion!!
« Last Edit: 28/07/2011 19:58:40 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1540 on: 29/07/2011 06:40:02 »

"In that case" I wispaed "show us your snickers!" She laughed and said "You cad, bury that idea."


 ;D  ;D  ;D
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1541 on: 29/07/2011 13:35:34 »
Starting today (July 29 - 31)

World Lumberjack Championships!
http://www.lumberjackworldchampionships.com/


'Not only was I stumped,' said the lumberjack, 'but I was barking up the wrong tree.'

« Last Edit: 29/07/2011 13:38:32 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1542 on: 29/07/2011 15:02:34 »
Treemendous!!!

I'll get my chopper out and make a few puns.

What? What did I say wrong???

Just leaf me alone, I'm doing no harm.

Right, now, let's start branching out here. I don't want to sap all my energy on this or I'll be in lumber with the splinter group. Poplar though they may be, I was stuck with them before up the creek without a paddle. We were rowan with our hands to get back to the beech. One of them told a corny joke, so I said, in a Welsh accent 'Willow you pack that in boyo!" He didn't, so I beat him to a pulp. He began to look quite ashen and started pineing for rest. I think he finally twiged it; I was not ammused.

Where would be the best place to learn the art of the lumberjack? The sawbonne!?
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1543 on: 29/07/2011 16:36:34 »
Woodn't you know it? Don saw the choppertunity and grabbed it.

He axed no questions, just got on with it.

I bet he's logged many miles to bring punning to a sharpened science!

But doesn't Don know that making fun of a tree is a knock on wood???

« Last Edit: 29/07/2011 16:45:58 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1544 on: 29/07/2011 16:43:04 »


Where would be the best place to learn the art of the lumberjack? The sawbonne!?


Yes. But the University of California, Barkeley is also good.
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1545 on: 31/07/2011 11:22:24 »


But doesn't Don know that making fun of a tree is a knock on wood???



I can assure yew, I did not take the matter treevially. Sitting on my laurels while there are puns to be punned, as pened here, has never been my intention, but I do so with no malus nor with the intent to conker. I vyleaf it is my duty to do so and as such I arose to the occasion.
 

Offline demografx

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1546 on: 01/08/2011 05:48:36 »
I know you're not green at this, nature has given you much less bark and far more bite.

I feel sappy thinking how you finally awoak to the responsibility to future punners, that is, to sow the seeds of little puns so they can flower and mushroom into much bigger ones.

Remember, even the largest redwood was at one time only a punny little sapling!

 

Offline demografx

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« Reply #1547 on: 01/08/2011 07:21:25 »
August 1 through August 5 is

National Psychic Week
http://www.psychicsource.com/blog/index.php/3566/featured-psychic/when-is-national-psychic-week-this-year-its-august-1-5/

Now why didn't Don predict that National Psychic Week would start today?????
« Last Edit: 01/08/2011 08:45:48 by demografx »
 

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« Reply #1548 on: 01/08/2011 09:22:54 »
August 1 through August 5 is

National Psychic Week
http://www.psychicsource.com/blog/index.php/3566/featured-psychic/when-is-national-psychic-week-this-year-its-august-1-5/

Now why didn't Don predict that National Psychic Week would start today?????

Out of all the Psychic events, I dont know witch one to go to, Ive heard this one is not very big, its medium sized.
« Last Edit: 01/08/2011 09:25:37 by horizon »
 

Offline Don_1

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« Reply #1549 on: 01/08/2011 10:30:11 »
I thought it had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.

Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?

Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."

At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."

Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.

A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.

Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.
 

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Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1549 on: 01/08/2011 10:30:11 »

 

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