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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 957121 times)

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1700 on: 19/12/2011 00:26:43 »

How can he be impaired if he's drinking alone?  ???


Donnah!

"How can he be impaired?" you ask?

Well....when we were together once, he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."

Impaired I say! Off with his head!

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1701 on: 20/12/2011 12:00:48 »


.... he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."


Shouldn't he have said, 'this one is on you'???


 Off with his head!


So, we are back to that business again, are we. De cap it ain't shunned after all.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1702 on: 20/12/2011 12:41:38 »
Dear Donnah, Demo and other members of the TNS Punnster Society,

I am sure that as the fester festive season approaches, yule log on to demonstrate your abilities in the art of punning.

Can I please request that do not come up with any turkeys, but rather make your presents felt with only the most treemendous examples of celebratory puns. Be sure an gel your puns together in fine TNS fashion, rather than stuffing us with mere trifles. May I also remind you that pudding the donkey before the cart can lead to confusion.

I am sure you wise men and women will ensure that you shepherd your words together in a most conducive manner. The gift of the Gab, real as it may be, is only bestowed on the few, and you are privileged to be stable members among them, stars in your own write rite right left (Bugger it.)

We look forward to hearing from Carol, though sometimes her hum bugs us,  and to a nice hot cuppa from Demo, he brews a good pot of tea, and itS Ann ta supply the mince pies this year.

Wishing you all the breast for the new year,

er indoors and Don_1 two to too .
 

Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1703 on: 20/12/2011 19:52:34 »
If you toad them, will they croak?

Was watching youtoob, saw a video of a Peruvian "aphrodisiac"  smoothie that involved a stunned frog, and some herbs, and further work that was supplied by a certain company whose motto is "Will it blend?"...........  Not for me that is!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1704 on: 22/12/2011 07:20:27 »

Make your presents felt.
 

I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.


Pudding the donkey before the cart can lead to confusion.


Pretty strong donkey! That's one way of pudding it.


Shepherd your words together in a most conducive manner.


Shepherds don't talk much because their work is past-oral.





« Last Edit: 22/12/2011 07:24:06 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1705 on: 22/12/2011 09:00:38 »

I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.

Shepherds don't talk much because their work is past-oral.


A couple of corkers there Demo!

Do I need to explain them to others? No laboration needed.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1706 on: 22/12/2011 19:45:05 »

The last time an imp aired his views to me...


I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents.

 

Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1707 on: 22/12/2011 20:03:19 »
Arte you sure it was a prank, or am I as thick as 2 short?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1708 on: 23/12/2011 00:53:25 »

Are you sure it was a prank, or am I as thick as 2 short?


Maybe you are just thick and tired of it all?
« Last Edit: 28/12/2011 03:47:41 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1709 on: 23/12/2011 01:13:09 »


.... he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."


Shouldn't he have said, 'this one is on you'???


I consulted Emily Post on correct manners in situations such as this!

He should have said - in proper drawing room discussion style - "This one [joke] is on us".


« Last Edit: 23/12/2011 01:18:18 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1710 on: 23/12/2011 11:06:21 »
Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.

Never mind, I'm sure someone will have bought me some soap-on-a-rope & depongarant! So I shouldn't be off for too long! Until I eat some brussells, that is, then I'll be off again.

HAVE HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYBODY AND SALT & PEPER (condiments) OF THE SEASON.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1711 on: 23/12/2011 21:49:25 »

                                         
 

Offline daveman

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1712 on: 27/12/2011 23:16:13 »
Wealth an ewe ear isawn the whore izon.

Sew ha pino ear tuyoo wall!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1713 on: 28/12/2011 03:17:39 »

Wealth an ewe ear isawn the whore izon.

Sew ha pino ear tuyoo wall!



Y than kyu so kindle ee fore tha tree mark!

Ewe arse oh so thaw t-fool!!
« Last Edit: 28/12/2011 03:52:37 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1714 on: 28/12/2011 03:31:39 »

Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.






I thought you were off year-round?

« Last Edit: 28/12/2011 03:40:00 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1715 on: 31/12/2011 03:35:26 »



 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1716 on: 31/12/2011 18:27:29 »

Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.






I thought you were off year-round?




I swear it was just my socks!
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1717 on: 31/12/2011 18:32:44 »





I'll second that.

See you all in 2012 folks.

2012 the year of the London Olympics..........
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1718 on: 01/01/2012 10:01:43 »

HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYBODY AND SALT & PEPPER (condiments) OF THE SEASON.


Yes, I'm also a firm believer in safe sex.


 

Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1719 on: 01/01/2012 18:08:38 »
Demo, for you, safe sex is not taking those little blue pills a half hour before........... :)

Though of course then the whole thing is a whole lot of talk, and very small and lack of action - spirit is willing but he will not be spirited. Or more to it, up to the task at hand.

Or so I have been told, ;) not exactly having watched "those kind" of home movies, kinda in the spirit of liking F1 a little, but not liking the clash of the cabbages.....
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1720 on: 02/01/2012 05:10:19 »

...the clash of the cabbages.....


1.   If you plant the cabbage first, it will have a head start.

2.   Cabbage should be eaten raw. In fact, that's Cole's Law.
 

Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1721 on: 02/01/2012 07:14:33 »
Cabbage, was he the cousin of Charles Babbage?

Did he not invent and build the computer, in the age where you would be hard pressed to get 2 screws that matched.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1722 on: 10/01/2012 13:09:42 »




Today, January 10, is
Save The Eagle Day!

Its amazing how eagles catch their prey, they must be really talonted.

The eagles club formed an add hawk committee.

An eagle and a hawk had a difference of a pinion.

Nature reserves are an eagle opportunity employer.
 



 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1723 on: 11/01/2012 14:02:46 »
I had to show this to some friends, it gave them quite a buzz, hardly had they finished reading it when Perry grinned and Harry, er, well he went into raptorous fits of laughter, ho hoing, ha haing and haw hawking around on the floor.

I really must show it to Dame Anna Neagle. Griffon (given) the price of a ticket, can anyone write me a KITE for the bus fare?

I suppose I could go to church and ask God for the money....... 'Let os prey.

Gosh awkward for an atheist!
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1724 on: 11/01/2012 14:10:32 »
In a break from the puns, here's a malapropism:-

I went to the Doctor on the pretext of 'mens problems' on December 14th.

Doctor - Come in and sit down. What seems to be the trouble?
Me - Thank you Doc. First may I wish you a happy new year.
Doctor - Ah! Say no more. I know what your trouble is, you suffer from premature congratulations.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1724 on: 11/01/2012 14:10:32 »

 

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