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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 956678 times)

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1825 on: 04/02/2012 01:50:57 »

.............But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.


Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........


We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us.



Turtle Award For Don teaching us a batter way!

« Last Edit: 04/02/2012 01:59:08 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1826 on: 04/02/2012 20:30:40 »

Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........


We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us.
Or, if said with a British accent, "the pancake tourght us".
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1827 on: 04/02/2012 21:34:37 »
In Rome, an old tortoise named Myrtle
Was in prison for stealing a girdle.
Then the Vatican City
Agreed to have pity
The headlines read: “Pope Springs a Turtle!”
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1828 on: 04/02/2012 22:05:03 »
If it weren't for the pope's pity, Myrtle would have had a slim chance.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1829 on: 05/02/2012 00:37:43 »
My niece was telling me about a trip to the zoo with her grandparents and how she saw a very large turtle who approached them.

She exclaimed, "He was walking right tortoise!"
« Last Edit: 05/02/2012 00:41:17 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1830 on: 05/02/2012 00:54:00 »

If it weren't for the pope's pity, Myrtle would have had a slim chance.


The pope, on his 2008 tour in the United States, skipped Mass.
« Last Edit: 05/02/2012 00:56:36 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1831 on: 05/02/2012 04:36:06 »
Myrtle, the turtle,
the one who stole the girdle
had lost her hope
until the Pope
released her from the cell.
She cried "Thank you,
I will be true,
I was in a real snare,
now I'm out by a hare
so it's time to come out of my shell.

Yeah, okay, so they can't all be good.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1832 on: 06/02/2012 00:00:23 »
Hope springs eternal!

(Pope springs a turtle)
« Last Edit: 06/02/2012 07:35:32 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1833 on: 06/02/2012 05:15:35 »
Where is Hope Springs anyway, I can't find it on a map.  And I can't find a country named Eternal either.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1834 on: 06/02/2012 07:11:42 »
No, No, Donnah! Eternal is a State!!!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1835 on: 06/02/2012 07:15:58 »

Where is Hope Springs anyway, I can't find it on a map.




It's 2 hours from me! (really) Thanks for showing me!
« Last Edit: 06/02/2012 07:33:39 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1836 on: 07/02/2012 06:49:55 »
That looks like Ireland.  Are you sure Eternal isn't a county (yes, I mean county, not country)?
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1837 on: 07/02/2012 08:51:19 »
That looks like Ireland. 


Having managed a Spoonerism pun, I shall now try my hand at an antonym pun.

Hope Springs eh!

Watch out for the leprechaun. He turn all things to despair. dis pair fall's into that category.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1838 on: 07/02/2012 17:07:05 »

That looks like Ireland.  Are you sure Eternal isn't a county (yes, I mean county, not country)?




You must mean Cork.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1839 on: 07/02/2012 17:12:08 »

That looks like Ireland. 


Having managed a Spoonerism pun, I shall now try my hand at an antonym pun.

Hope Springs eh!

Watch out for the leprechaun. He turn all things to despair. dis pair fall's into that category.





Don wins the Antonym Award!
« Last Edit: 07/02/2012 17:17:32 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1840 on: 08/02/2012 12:41:27 »
Where are you finding all these awards? I had no idea they existed.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1841 on: 09/02/2012 01:11:26 »






 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1842 on: 09/02/2012 01:30:40 »
February is also
Responsible Pet Owner's Month
http://www.bikersagainstanimalcruelty.org/RPOM.html

Don't dodge your responsibilities to your pets!

It could be a catastrophe if you do!

Fishing around for more money can wait!

=^..^=

« Last Edit: 09/02/2012 08:03:35 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1843 on: 09/02/2012 05:05:35 »
And don't give/flip your neighbor the bird!
« Last Edit: 09/02/2012 05:57:55 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1844 on: 09/02/2012 05:21:18 »

Myrtle, the turtle,
the one who stole the girdle
had lost her hope
until the Pope
released her from the cell.
She cried "Thank you,
I will be true,
I was in a real snare,
now I'm out by a hare
so it's time to come out of my shell.




« Last Edit: 09/02/2012 05:37:45 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1845 on: 09/02/2012 05:40:54 »

Where are you finding all these awards? I had no idea they existed.




I humbly accept! With tears in my eyes!

I prepared some off-the-cuff remarks:

"To all the Distinguished Members of the Academy....."

Ohnevermind, wrong Award Acceptance Speech....

« Last Edit: 09/02/2012 08:10:19 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1846 on: 09/02/2012 08:48:29 »
February is
Responsible Pet Owner's Month

Your dogged attention to annual events has paid off again.

Will those pets say grace before they tuck into breakfast.......... "For what we are about to receive........" For Spanish pets, would that translate to (here it comes, a Spanish pun) "Para que tu a punto de recibir......" And don't forget to scatter some food for the wild birds too. It doesn't cost much. I bought some wild bird seed and was pleasantly surprised when the shop keeper, Mr. Pratt, said "Here's jer bill".

I took a German Shepherd to the vet a few days ago. We went on a train which called at all stations to London Bridge.

We all love TNS, it has (wait for it...........) taught us many things.


Yippee! The trusty old 'tortoise' pun makes yet another appearance. I wold hate to keep them to myself, it would seem rather shellfish**

**Note the triple barrel pun.

Timmy the tortoise
went out and bought us
a lock for door to his house
not a padlock and chain
he did explain
but a real good mortice.

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1847 on: 09/02/2012 18:59:40 »

Para que tu a punto de recibir......


Careful!

Do you know the poop on parakeets?


...the shop keeper, Mr. Pratt


Shop keeper?

Hell no!

Mr. Pratt is a well known breeder of lab science animals.

So, he is definitely part of the rat race!
« Last Edit: 12/02/2012 03:06:40 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1848 on: 09/02/2012 19:11:28 »

Timmy the tortoise
went out and bought us
a lock for door to his house
not a padlock and chain
he did explain
but a real good mortice.






This is terrific!

But your submission is a hare too late. Donnah walked off with The Turtle Poetry Award For February.

Stick your neck out earlier next time!




But as a Consolation Prize, you get to choose The Lucky Lady who is to receive a kiss from you!

And of course, you can also choose anyone author than Barbara Elsborg!


Barbara Elsborg


« Last Edit: 12/02/2012 03:04:27 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1849 on: 17/02/2012 01:35:43 »
February 18, 2012 is
Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day

You have an entire day to prepair for this. So, no rush.

But I'm sure your day will go fast.

Do we have to tip such a cow? A cow like this has never served me food. This one only serves milk.
« Last Edit: 17/02/2012 02:06:02 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1849 on: 17/02/2012 01:35:43 »

 

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