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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 962112 times)

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1975 on: 21/03/2012 11:02:46 »
........
And today the $balance on one of my accounts was...666!



I just thought I'd check, and low and behold, I have 6.66 in my pocket! Would you believe it?!?!?!

What??? You wouldn't believe it! I don't blame you, its a pack o' lies.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1976 on: 21/03/2012 20:38:23 »
March is:
Berries and Cherries Month


I presume you found this in some seedy newspaper under currant affairs. Probably berried away in the small print. How many times did you have to go fru it before you found this star? By the way, are you sure you have got the date right? The way I figure it, it should be in September and Anna would have agreed had she not been banned. I think I told you they had to ban Anna, her posts were getting too fruity. Its enough to give you the pip.


« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 04:01:21 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1977 on: 21/03/2012 20:39:40 »


...its a pack o' lies.


I tried to pack myself in a suitcase.

I could hardly contain myself.


 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1978 on: 22/03/2012 09:03:53 »
I could have told you it would not suit you, not even for a brief moment and had you tried it over-night, you would probably have caught a nasty cold.

Attache!

Bless you. Now you need to flight off this infection. This is indeed a sad case. I shall ask Dr Justin to attend to you, justin case you need some pills.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1979 on: 22/03/2012 21:28:59 »
Thank you for the Gesundheit - I had a pressing urge to sneeze on this train. I need something to read, I'm board. If I train myself, discipline will come. We only pass this way once.

« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 04:51:53 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1980 on: 22/03/2012 23:36:55 »
Are we all uh, bored?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1981 on: 22/03/2012 23:59:01 »

Are we all uh, bored?


The vegetable never taken aboard ship is a leek.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1982 on: 23/03/2012 04:18:21 »
March 19 - March 25
Act Happy Week




Actcept happyness EVERY week!

« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 04:21:39 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1983 on: 23/03/2012 10:26:37 »
Does this mean I have to actcentuate any delusions of joy I may have? That even in my deepest, darkest hour of foreboding I must go around with a perpetual grin about my mush?

Oh woe, woe and thrice woe, that this sour faced old groat must perambulate the streets of doom with a gladiatorial skip in his step, despite the blissters on his feet. Will nobody joyn me in my hour of ha pe....................C - E - N - S - O - R - E - D.....................................

No, no, I really can't do that pun
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1984 on: 23/03/2012 16:51:01 »
You must grin and bear it!

Happy hope reigns supreme!

Why not joyn in on all the fun?

Hippety hoppety happy to you!

Sadists cannot make you sad. Only you can.

Act happy.

Be happy.

Smile even though your heart is bypassed!



« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 16:54:02 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1985 on: 23/03/2012 17:17:16 »

You must grin and bear it!

How kind of you to offer. I'll have a double with tonic, ice and a slice of lemon.
« Last Edit: 23/03/2012 17:20:45 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1986 on: 23/03/2012 19:30:58 »


And a proper serving with nuts on the side.



It's a sloe month.

But please don't fizzle out on us!

« Last Edit: 24/03/2012 07:22:44 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1987 on: 24/03/2012 11:08:06 »

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.


Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?

More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?

Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1988 on: 24/03/2012 11:12:40 »
It has been suggested that I have a drink problem.

I do not.

I drink, I get drunk, I fall over, no problem.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1989 on: 24/03/2012 14:40:44 »

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.


Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?

More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?

Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.





Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
« Last Edit: 24/03/2012 14:45:57 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1990 on: 24/03/2012 15:55:07 »

Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!


How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)

OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*)
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1991 on: 24/03/2012 16:17:54 »
Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.

Headline........ "Al Coe holler"

Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1992 on: 24/03/2012 20:56:14 »

Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!


How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)

OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*)

Now THAT is the kind of Acceptance Speech we can all admonish admire!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1993 on: 24/03/2012 21:00:58 »
Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.

Headline........ "Al Coe holler"

Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?


Don_1 keeps telling us that his drink is non-alcoholic, but where is the proof?
« Last Edit: 24/03/2012 21:10:19 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1994 on: 24/03/2012 21:23:27 »

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.

Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?



« Last Edit: 26/03/2012 02:12:29 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1995 on: 25/03/2012 08:12:06 »
A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1996 on: 26/03/2012 02:09:32 »

A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.


I stole an invention and then told patent lies.

 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1997 on: 26/03/2012 09:37:57 »
"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."

I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1998 on: 26/03/2012 09:40:12 »
A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.

Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1999 on: 27/03/2012 02:33:01 »

A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.


Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.


My wife is so thrifty she can smell a bar grin a mall* away.

*shopping centre
« Last Edit: 27/03/2012 02:53:23 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #1999 on: 27/03/2012 02:33:01 »

 

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