The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 957543 times)

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #200 on: 03/07/2010 04:01:19 »

Geezer, shame! It's NOT a massage parlor.



No - it is full service.

Udderly delightful.


 :o  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o  :o  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o  :o  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o  :o  :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
 

Offline SeanB

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1118
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #201 on: 03/07/2010 20:09:45 »
You are putting it on a bit thick! Is that Jersey you are using?
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #202 on: 04/07/2010 03:31:15 »
No wool, in honor of Sheepy.
 

Offline SeanB

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1118
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #203 on: 04/07/2010 14:31:32 »
Ah, so must be covering my eyes then!

I hope it is properly carded, or you will be getting a red one then.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #204 on: 04/07/2010 17:34:37 »

I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.


Are you sure? I thought it was the capital of New York State.
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #205 on: 04/07/2010 19:29:32 »
Ah, so must be covering my eyes then!

I hope it is properly carded, or you will be getting a red one then.

I thought you got a yellow one first!  DARN!

 >:(
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #206 on: 05/07/2010 02:22:32 »

I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.


Are you sure? I thought it was the capital of New York State.

What does a metal have to do with rabbit LUV?
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #207 on: 07/07/2010 03:12:56 »
OK you slakers:

Chose one of the two are  get your own.

On the morning of the third day of their honeymoon the bridegroom is reading the TV schedules in the newspaper, but the bride, in the other room, is unaware of that.

He says: "Do you want to see Oliver Twist?"

She says: "If you make that thing do one more trick, I'm outta here."

________________________________________________________________________


There was a small village nestled at the bottom of a hill. It flourished because of the richness of the soil and the abundance of game in its forests. However, one spring the village hunters noticed a sparsity of game. It became increasingly difficult to find birds, small mammals, and other sources of protein. Alarmingly, the farmers noted as the spring progressed that the soil was becoming acidic and the crops were failing bit by bit.

One day the hunters quite by accident stumbled upon the source of their woes. While cautiously exploring one of the many nearby caves they discovered a very large and dangerous carnivore previously unknown in their area. One of them had seen pictures of this animal at a distant market in his youth, and could only recall it being called a Rarie. The foul smell of the beast's excrement immediately told them the source of the soil problems in their gardens, and the piles of bones strewn about the cave provided more than enough evidence for the dwindling meat supplies in their forest.

After much discussion and consultation with the village herb women, the hunters prepared a special "snack" for the dangerous and hungry rarie. They filled a large possum with an herb guaranteed to put their enemy into a deep sleep and left the meal at the mouth of the cave.

Upon awakening the rarie set to and ate possum with all due haste. The herb acted almost immediately, to the villagers' chagrin, since they had hoped to lure the beast to the hill above their village where they could carry out their plan to rid themselves of it by pushing it over the top and down onto the rocks at the edge of the ocean below.

It was necessary to rig a canvas, roll the beast onto it, and pull it with great effort to the village and on up the hill, all the while feeding it more of the herb whenever it threatened to awaken. Finally they had it near the top, when everyone's energy gave out.

More discussion led to a new plan, whereby long sticks would be put under the somnulent beast, and they would lever it up and over the top of the hill.

As they were laboring away at this final plan, a wandering beggar came by and began laughing loudly at their efforts. Offended, they demanded to know what he found so funny.

"Oh, your plan will never work. I cannot believe you are so ignorant," he said. "Everyone knows that that's the wrong way to tip a rarie."
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #208 on: 07/07/2010 03:53:19 »

OMG, I heard that one in 1973!
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #209 on: 07/07/2010 04:07:52 »
He'll be telling us how he "left his arse in Sam Pam's disco" next,
 
or the one about "two lips from hamster jam".
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #210 on: 07/07/2010 04:30:31 »

                             
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #211 on: 07/07/2010 16:56:08 »
Three things -

1.) the rarie's fits well with you two dinosaurs all are old and stale

2.) At least I didn't slack on the thread and got you old coots moving again. 
 
3.) If you do not continue to add to this thread I will tell you the story of how to make a moth ball.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #212 on: 07/07/2010 17:13:52 »

This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #213 on: 07/07/2010 17:59:38 »

However, Geezer, I must admit to wanting to hear all about the <snicker>  moth ball  ;D
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #214 on: 07/07/2010 22:56:45 »


This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.


Is that a run - on sentence?
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #215 on: 08/07/2010 03:28:43 »
Funny, the moth went out for the track team when he was in middle school. He was a good runner and soon aspired to the Olympics. After days of training he made it to the monthly moth Olympics. (I have made a shaggy dogs story very short.

Just making it to the Olympics was a huge achievement, especially since he was the first moth from his species to ever make the cut for the team.  He made it to the finals of the 50 inch sprint. He was in the middle lane. As they were in the starting block one of the two members of the Birch Tree Moths looked at him and spit at him. Taking this as just a mind game, the little moth set his mind and set himself firmer in the starting block. As the gun went off, the Birch Tree Moth bumped him, setting him off stride. But the little moth was tough. He only missed one step and speed on. But then the moth that bumped him did it again, and the little mouth went down, along with all of his dreams in his pathetically short life.

That is how you make a moth ball.

 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #216 on: 08/07/2010 03:57:15 »
Blimey!

I thought it might at least have had something to do with the one about giant moths (which, I can no longer remember).

There is nothing else for it but a public banning.

JimBob is hereby banned for at least 30 minutes.

(Sorry JB, but you gave me no choice.) 
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #217 on: 08/07/2010 04:50:57 »

JB, you could go to the bank with that one.
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #218 on: 08/07/2010 05:19:47 »

JB, you could go to the bank with that one.

I would not recommend it:

They are nothing but a bunch of bankers.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #219 on: 09/07/2010 04:10:23 »


This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.


Is that a run - on sentence?


Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #220 on: 09/07/2010 17:27:00 »


Hey, Geezer, I sincerely hope that your Auntie Histamynne's bronchial condition's improved!
 

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #221 on: 09/07/2010 17:47:12 »
No but his Auntie inflammatory is helping him to sleep at night.
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #222 on: 10/07/2010 01:46:31 »
Actually, Geezer is from a very loving Scottish family. His Auntie keeps him awake all night. That is why Geezer has been BANished to the US.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #223 on: 11/07/2010 05:40:05 »

Is that a Scottish roll-on deodorant???
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #224 on: 11/07/2010 05:52:50 »

No but his Auntie inflammatory is helping him to sleep at night.


I'm happy that something was found to Aleveiate the situation!
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #224 on: 11/07/2010 05:52:50 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums