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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 960947 times)

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2025 on: 03/04/2012 17:48:34 »

Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?


Were there crocodile tears in his eyes?


« Last Edit: 04/04/2012 06:09:11 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2026 on: 04/04/2012 01:15:12 »

Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?


I could see that one caiman a mile off.


A mile off Cuba?
     click ^ above
« Last Edit: 04/04/2012 07:15:52 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2027 on: 04/04/2012 11:01:50 »

Cuban crocodile


I see garments being torn by this creature if the washing is left out. That's your root problem here. Have Anna bring it in to keep it safe.


That's another pun gone up in smoke. Ah well! You win ston, you loose some.
« Last Edit: 04/04/2012 11:11:56 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2028 on: 04/04/2012 18:16:16 »

That's another pun gone up in smoke. Ah well! You win ston, you lose some.



Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars in a washroom are all smoke and mirrors.

« Last Edit: 04/04/2012 19:01:29 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2029 on: 05/04/2012 12:25:24 »

Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars are all smoke .......


Sounds like ce gar needs a service if its exhaust is all smoke.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2030 on: 05/04/2012 12:35:15 »

Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars in a washroom are all smoke and mirrors.


There wash room in the washroom until some fools started going in there to stick their cigars up their nasal passages. This resulted in the management putting up a huge sign with the legend 'Nose Moking', which got in everyones' way. I complained, saying "Ash a nuisance." But the boss, a Spaniard, said "Ash tres necessario."

(And reverting to the crocodilian puns...)

He went on to say "Itsa Hokay para usted, you don'ta hava to ghary all the ash anda the buttsa out ata the end ofa the day, so itsa cleana para la maņana."

"Maņana?" I questioned, "I think you'll find they are smoking ordinary cigars, nothing remotely 'herbal'".

Which reminds me of the time I nearly got into trouble with drug squad. All I said to the girl was "I want to marry you Anna."
« Last Edit: 05/04/2012 16:17:13 by Don_1 »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2031 on: 05/04/2012 16:27:01 »
Walter Raleigh brought cigars to England. Queen Elizabeth declared they were too big after, not realising they should be smoked, had eaten one. So they were made smaller and the cigar eat was born.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2032 on: 06/04/2012 04:40:55 »

Which reminds me of the time I nearly got into trouble with drug squad.

All I said to the girl was "I want to marry you Anna."



It was even more dangerous for you than you think.

The drug squad was suspicious because Anna is a woman of such distinguished courage and ability, and she's widely admired and emulated for her brave deeds and noble qualities.

In short, a heroine!

Good thing the marriage was annulled.
« Last Edit: 06/04/2012 06:29:31 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2033 on: 06/04/2012 05:05:28 »

Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars are all smoke .......


Sounds like ce gar needs a service if its exhaust is all smoke.


Ce gas/petrol is all it needs.

So now I must find some celf service petrol/gas.

Ce gap is only good for hip jeans.
« Last Edit: 07/04/2012 17:57:51 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2034 on: 06/04/2012 12:12:31 »

It was even more dangerous for you than you think.

The drug squad was suspicious because Anna is a woman of such distinguished courage and ability, and she's widely admired and emulated for her brave deeds and noble qualities.

In short, a heroine!


Oh L, S D last thing I expected.

I am fetter mineself to the ball and chain.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2035 on: 07/04/2012 01:21:07 »
« Last Edit: 07/04/2012 01:22:58 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2036 on: 07/04/2012 01:29:26 »
April is:
International Guitar Month
http://www.guitarsite.com/newsletters/000327/9.shtml

I'm not bragging, but soon after I join any band as a guitarist, I am instrumental.
« Last Edit: 08/04/2012 00:54:00 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2037 on: 07/04/2012 02:51:05 »
This one really happened:
There had been a few scandals involving ministers of one of our State Governments. The then premier went to one of his regular press conferences. After a few questions on more innocuous topics had been dealt with, a young reporter opened with
--"Mr Premier, you must be aware of allegations that have been made against ..."
He was interrupted with
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
That's quite a tail.  The reporter must have been looking for a snappy story she could sink her teeth into.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2038 on: 07/04/2012 09:34:11 »

The reporter must have been looking for a snappy story she could sink her teeth into.



Yes. Just like this reporter!


« Last Edit: 07/04/2012 17:52:22 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2039 on: 07/04/2012 19:47:28 »

There wash room in the washroom until some fools started going in there to stick their cigars up their nasal passages. This resulted in the management putting up a huge sign with the legend 'Nose Moking', which got in everyones' way. I complained, saying "Ash a nuisance." But the boss, a Spaniard, said "Ash tres necessario."





"NOSE MOKING"!!!!!!

     

Don_1's poignant post is soooooooooo deserving of the INTERNATIONAL WRCNA! (Wash Room Cigar Nose Ashtray) Award Of 2012!

Congratulations, Don!
Demografx
Sr. WRCNA AwardFinder
Dated this 1st Day of April, Year 2012
(no fooling!)
« Last Edit: 08/04/2012 01:00:21 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2040 on: 07/04/2012 19:50:24 »

"I want to marry you Anna."


She said no.

So now you want to ban Anna?

Is that truly the most fruitful way to proceed?

You just might benefit by cherrypicking from a number of different ways to go with your annarexic fixation.

There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.

Perhaps psychoannalysis can help here?

« Last Edit: 08/04/2012 01:33:19 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2041 on: 08/04/2012 01:31:12 »

--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"


That's quite a tail.


 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2042 on: 08/04/2012 13:07:12 »

I'm not bragging, but soon after I join any band as a guitarist, I am instrumental.


That's not the way I heard it. I am lead to believe that the rest of the group told you to guit ar of it and not to come back. I also understand some pretty bass language was used and some obtuse innuendo. They can be quite rye them boy bands.

I am no defender of them, in fact, I gib some of them as good as I get. My tongue can be so hot, it burns. Now, les pull together to get Demo into a boy band. I'm fed up with his fretting.

Ishmael Rabanowitz, the celebrated Israeli engineer, designed the worlds largest suspension bridge in the classical style. I said to him, "Wow, that bridge has quite a span Ishmael!"

See those puns, I just plec trum out of thin air.
« Last Edit: 08/04/2012 14:39:55 by Don_1 »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2043 on: 08/04/2012 13:12:07 »

Don_1's poignant post is soooooooooo deserving of the INTERNATIONAL WRCNA! (Wash Room Cigar Nose Ashtray) Award Of 2012!


I am touched; I think you may be too!

LOOK OUT, its the men in white coats!
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2044 on: 08/04/2012 13:15:23 »

There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.


I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2045 on: 09/04/2012 04:17:19 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2046 on: 09/04/2012 04:24:41 »
April 9, 2012 is:
Dyngus Day
(First Monday after Easter)
http://www.dyngusdaybuffalo.com/whatisdyngusday.html


Did you hear about the frog who traced his family history to Warsaw?

He was a tad Polish.

And the frog wore a very nice polka-dotted shirt.

« Last Edit: 09/04/2012 07:07:09 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2047 on: 09/04/2012 06:23:23 »

Walter Raleigh brought cigars to England. Queen Elizabeth declared they were too big after, not realising they should be smoked, had eaten one. So they were made smaller and the cigar eat was born.


I thought it was because of food and sex:

Queen Elizabeth always enjoyed a nice smoke (the smaller the better) after sex (the larger the better).

She indulged in said sex+smoking immediately after eating a hearty meal, thus the cigar ate was born.
« Last Edit: 11/04/2012 23:30:51 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2048 on: 09/04/2012 15:29:01 »

See those puns, I just plec trum out of thin air.


Yes, just like me on the guitar, you certainly know how to pick 'em!
« Last Edit: 10/04/2012 07:22:50 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2049 on: 10/04/2012 07:32:13 »

There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.


I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.


Oh, let's not get annal about this...
« Last Edit: 11/04/2012 23:33:54 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
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