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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 961498 times)

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2125 on: 30/04/2012 11:03:22 »

.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
J
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'


That was hardly the altitude to take was it!


Don, I imagine that your difficult decision to become a pilot was up in the air for a while.


I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2126 on: 30/04/2012 14:39:31 »
I didn't know you cared that much!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2127 on: 30/04/2012 14:49:12 »
Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html


When vegetables want to talk to petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.
« Last Edit: 01/05/2012 02:08:26 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2128 on: 30/04/2012 14:54:10 »
My car rots when the battery's dead.
« Last Edit: 30/04/2012 22:29:33 by demografx »
 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2129 on: 01/05/2012 00:07:18 »



"NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A CLOSE SHAVE.." AND "QUITE A GRATING EXPERIENCE!...." LOL....TALK ABOUT...."I'M GONNA SKIN YOUR HIDE.....!!!" BETTER YET.. "SKINNED
ALIVE...." LOL...LOL... "Whoops, I forgot to ask you if you wanted that little spud grated or sliced?..." LOL..LOL
« Last Edit: 01/05/2012 00:11:03 by Karen W. »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2130 on: 01/05/2012 00:51:21 »

Karen, is THAT what Don was worried about when he said...
I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.



« Last Edit: 01/05/2012 00:54:22 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2131 on: 01/05/2012 02:03:28 »

I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.



Don't chute me for this, but did you know that the chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide?

« Last Edit: 01/05/2012 02:11:50 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2132 on: 01/05/2012 10:00:44 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2133 on: 01/05/2012 10:17:34 »
Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html

Does that mean we are in for another ear'ole bashing on the '5 a day' concept? We'll all end up with cauliflower ears.

Why aren't greens and parsnips included? This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2134 on: 01/05/2012 10:21:56 »
My car rots when the battery's dead.

Aye cid gest you top up the battery.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2135 on: 01/05/2012 10:54:52 »
I had a German sausage for breakfast today, it was the wurst I have ever tasted. The wife waffled something about complaining to the butcher, but I said I didn't need her to egg me on. The butcher asked if I had grilled the sausage, I repied to her enquiry "No marm I laid it on yon frying pan, though there wasn't mush room, it cooked OK."
 

Offline daveman

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2136 on: 01/05/2012 13:56:40 »
One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2137 on: 01/05/2012 15:06:18 »

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.


Father Cohen's assistant's salary is not much, but she makes up for it in tips.

« Last Edit: 01/05/2012 15:12:47 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2138 on: 01/05/2012 16:08:42 »

Why aren't greens and parsnips included?

This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.


January is parsnips month.

But I can assure you that there is no pearjudice in this fruit/veggie monthly selection.

Be confident that the selection committee is pearfectly unbiased.

« Last Edit: 01/05/2012 16:25:33 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2139 on: 01/05/2012 17:04:49 »
On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.

I don't want this post to get ugly, but I am passionate about fruit and treat it as the star of the table, pudding it above all else.

Stone me, I'm plum tuckered out.

Ooer, another Americanism.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2140 on: 01/05/2012 23:10:28 »

I didn't need her to egg me on.


As we can all see, this is clearly an ego issue.

« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 04:18:22 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2141 on: 01/05/2012 23:19:04 »
One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.



I respectfully pass : - )

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2142 on: 02/05/2012 03:45:19 »

On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.


Why? Don't I help to regularly prune this thread and throw out a pit or two?
« Last Edit: 02/05/2012 15:05:22 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2143 on: 02/05/2012 10:23:35 »
One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.



I respectfully pass : - )



Do my eyes decieve me or are there peas on that cone?

"M - u - m, M - u - u - m, Mum, Demo's put pea on my ice cream."

"WHAT!!! Demo's pee'ed on your ice cream? Wait 'til I get my hands on him!"



Actually, it looks like a genuine Heston Blumenthal concoction. He's a blumen nut case.
« Last Edit: 02/05/2012 10:50:59 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2144 on: 02/05/2012 10:45:02 »

On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.


Why? Don't I help to regularly prune this thread and throw out a pit or two?

On balance, yes, I suppose you could say so.

As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales
« Last Edit: 02/05/2012 10:51:55 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2145 on: 02/05/2012 11:30:05 »
It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.

I do hope you all have a cracking good time. All bu men should scramble words to make funny yolks & puns. It should be easy over*** there to do this. So keep your sunny side up and make merry, but please don't poach any material.

Shell out a few dollars on fancy dress and come let the fun begin. Let your nest egg of humour be openned wide.

Perhaps it might be an idea to cook your eggon the Ronay side, but don't let it run all down your front when you eat it.


***Yet another Americanism. I really must yank myself back into British idiotms.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2146 on: 02/05/2012 15:12:49 »

Today is Demo Pear Day.

No biased selection here!

No ego involved!


Reminder to self: destroy all evidence of this post below ---
This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.
But I can assure you that there is no pearjudice in this fruit/veggie monthly selection.
Be confident that the selection committee is pearfectly unbiased.

« Last Edit: 03/05/2012 05:32:03 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2147 on: 02/05/2012 15:20:25 »

It looks like a genuine Heston Blumenthal concoction. He's a blumen nut case.



Blumenthal's restaurant                                        Blumenthal levitating veggies

You're right. Anyone who calls a house a restaurant and levitates veggies must be a blumen nut case.
« Last Edit: 02/05/2012 16:45:10 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2148 on: 02/05/2012 15:34:53 »

As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales


How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????

(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)
« Last Edit: 02/05/2012 16:06:37 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2149 on: 02/05/2012 15:43:34 »
It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.

I do hope you all have a cracking good time. All bu men should scramble words to make funny yolks & puns. It should be easy over*** there to do this. So keep your sunny side up and make merry, but please don't poach any material.

Shell out a few dollars on fancy dress and come let the fun begin. Let your nest egg of humour be openned wide.

Perhaps it might be an idea to cook your eggon the Ronay side, but don't let it run all down your front when you eat it.


***Yet another Americanism. I really must yank myself back into British idiotms.



I don't want egg on my face for neglecting yet another Award to Don~1.

TNS' CFO will be eggsactly furious about this!
« Last Edit: 02/05/2012 15:45:42 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2149 on: 02/05/2012 15:43:34 »

 

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