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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 956966 times)

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2350 on: 15/07/2012 12:20:11 »
I suppose the problem was that the shrine was within the catherdral.

The monks must have cried, 'Look out, its hrining cats and dogs!'



Opps, Sorry Odyn.
« Last Edit: 15/07/2012 12:23:29 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2351 on: 15/07/2012 14:47:37 »
I don't know weather or not you will like this:



'St. Swithin's day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St. Swithin's day if thou be fair
For forty days 'twill rain nae mair.'

dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.



 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2352 on: 15/07/2012 14:59:36 »

Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?

A. Unique up on it.

Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?

A. Tame way.


Have you been at the Christmas crackers again?

Two can play at that game.

How do you make an apple tart?

Take away its sugar.

How do you poach a pear?

Poach one, then poach another one.

Why do you never go hungry at the seaside?

Because of the sandwhich is there.

I needed to borrow some money, so I got a drum, so I could go ta da bank, ta da bank, ta da bank bank bank.


Don't blame me! You started it.


No, Donnah started it!



Ah, so, Confucious say, man who put bunwich on headphones got bunny ears.


« Last Edit: 15/07/2012 15:02:12 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2353 on: 15/07/2012 15:06:29 »

Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?




Yes! Don_1 wins The Sublime T-Shirt Award! (SUBmarine...LIME...get it? All that plus Lemon Fish!!!)

Sorry, Don_1, but the Awards Committee notified me that they want you to pay shipping charges for the shirt!

They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.

« Last Edit: 15/07/2012 15:09:58 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2354 on: 15/07/2012 15:31:49 »

They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.


Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2355 on: 15/07/2012 15:36:35 »

dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.


OR:-

Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
Thou - 'though' as pronounced by a Brummy
Nae Mare - noise made by female horse
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2356 on: 15/07/2012 16:39:39 »

dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.


OR:-

Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
Thou - 'though' as pronounced by a Brummy

Nae Mare - noise made by female horse


Did you mean the noise made by the female or the noise made by the horse???



« Last Edit: 15/07/2012 16:43:25 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2357 on: 15/07/2012 16:56:39 »

They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.


Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.

They will give you your perfect fit size.

Only problem is that the only shirt left says:

                  I Odyn
« Last Edit: 15/07/2012 17:03:48 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2358 on: 15/07/2012 19:19:29 »


Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner

I'm impressed!  Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does! 

I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2359 on: 15/07/2012 20:52:18 »


Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner


I'm impressed!  mod edit Men Man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does! 

« Last Edit: 15/07/2012 20:54:43 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2360 on: 16/07/2012 01:08:33 »
JUST A COTTON PICKIN' MINUTE THERE MR DEMOGRAFX!!!

I'm not the only man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does, Mr Dyson knows too.

Ah!!! Oooo, Er um, I seem to have just shot myself in the foot.


Kindly ignore this post. That shouldn't be difficult, most of my posts are easy to ignore.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2361 on: 16/07/2012 01:13:05 »


Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner

I'm impressed!  Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does! 

I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!

NOTE TO MYSELF:

If ever you happen to be visiting Donnah and she offers some light refreshement from a can, make your excuses and get out quick.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2362 on: 16/07/2012 01:22:44 »


She's still riding that ass and hasn't got very far has she???

Well, she may not win the Derby, but if she wants to go riding C - E - N - S - O - R - E - D

Go on, get out!

What??? What did I say???

OUT!!! Go on, hop it, you dirrrrty little old man.
« Last Edit: 16/07/2012 01:30:25 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2363 on: 16/07/2012 06:05:52 »



Q. She's still riding that ass and hasn't got very far has she???
A.  Her own derrière? She's not riding a donkey!

OUT!!! Go on, hop it, you dirrrrty little old man.
Hop on her? Hop on horse? Hop on both? Hop on Pop? (<<Dr Seuss book)
« Last Edit: 16/07/2012 06:29:38 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2364 on: 16/07/2012 06:20:22 »
Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2365 on: 16/07/2012 13:30:08 »
Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.

Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2366 on: 16/07/2012 14:09:13 »
I have a painting by some shorthouse Parisian artist which I thought I would try to flog on eBay.
After all, I don't think I've got anything tou louse.

I sat in the van goghing all day because of this cold I have caught.

***Titian*** Bless you.

A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.

It takes a lot to raphael my feathers, you know, you have to goya long way to do it, but some things do rubens me up the wrong way. Not manet people can do it.

"Is that a fact?" Cez Anne. (Not Anne again! Is she in it for the monet?)

***Titian*** Doh! Here I gaugain, sneezing.
« Last Edit: 16/07/2012 14:12:12 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2367 on: 17/07/2012 03:20:19 »
JUST A COTTON PICKIN' MINUTE THERE MR DEMOGRAFX!!!

I'm not the only man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does, Mr Dyson knows too.

Ah!!! Oooo, Er um, I seem to have just shot myself in the foot.


Kindly ignore this post. That shouldn't be difficult, most of my posts are easy to ignore.
Did you see Mr. Dyson's latest ads?  Apparently he's got balls.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2368 on: 17/07/2012 12:16:31 »
Balls and vacuum cleaners!!!


No, I'm not going there! I can see me saying something I will later regret.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2369 on: 18/07/2012 03:59:43 »

I have a painting by some shorthouse Parisian artist which I thought I would try to flog on eBay.
After all, I don't think I've got anything tou louse.


Not to lose, but to track...your fine entrepreneurship!


I sat in the van goghing all day because of this cold I have caught.


And you certainly caught that cold from drinking that cheap French Vin that is so cheap that only centimes does it cost!


A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.


Eggsactly what he wanted to hear!


It takes a lot to raphael my feathers, you know, you have to goya long way to do it, but some things do rubens me up the wrong way. Not manet people can do it.

"Is that a fact?" Cez Anne. (Not Anne again! Is she in it for the monet?)

***Titian*** Doh! Here I gaugain, sneezing.


Of course, Anne is ALWAYS in it for the monet!

Did you pick her ass to win? (no, no, at the races, you lecher!!)

Don_1, I'm not asking you to change all your beliefs!

« Last Edit: 18/07/2012 04:10:07 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2370 on: 18/07/2012 04:23:02 »

Did you see Mr. Dyson's latest ads?  Apparently he's got balls.


Balls and vacuum cleaners!!!


No, I'm not going there! I can see me saying something I will later regret.


What's wrong with bacuum cleaners? It could start a trend!

Let's start a company! DonDonnahDemo Bacucleaning. Ltd.

edit All senior employees must have a college-level baculaureate degree.

We'll sell shares to Bernie Madoff!
« Last Edit: 18/07/2012 14:08:04 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2371 on: 18/07/2012 04:55:17 »
Or we could just call it 3D.  BTW would you invest money with a person named Madoff? 
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2372 on: 18/07/2012 05:03:49 »
That's right, Donnah! "BM: Made off with America" is the name of an upcoming movie.
http://www.satanofwallstreet.com/main/index.php

« Last Edit: 18/07/2012 05:06:23 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2373 on: 18/07/2012 05:47:34 »

Or we could just call it 3D.
 

But then we would have to give each customer a set of glasses.

Expensive!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2374 on: 18/07/2012 14:14:37 »
Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.

Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.

You prefer speed over sensuality? <giggle>
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2374 on: 18/07/2012 14:14:37 »

 

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