The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 956562 times)

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2875 on: 24/04/2013 16:02:44 »
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

Damnation! You obviously saw that coming.
Really! A comment there was irisistable. Socket to me!
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

I can't help wondering if your doing OK here, or bit off more than you can chew.
Anna (yep, she's back) was taught her scales by a Scottish voice coach. She was fine with doh, ra, me etc but had some trouble when it came to 'la'.

After just a few days McTavish said "Och you la just fine the noo".
This is a good sight for punning. Vis you all join in.
Cauliflower is good for soothing tired eyes. Just boil a floret in a cup of milk and bathe.
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
YES!!! I'm nearly there, I'm at the brow of the hill.
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?

Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?

If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?

I do so love to amas caravans.
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.

Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.

Just have to put a lid on it.
Demo, I really must warn you not to make a spectacle of yourself making accusations about McTavish. The last person to do so brought such shame upon the family matriarch that McTavish took him to court for bringing a stygma t' iz mother.


Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping,  eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!

Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/


« Last Edit: 25/04/2013 04:39:01 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2876 on: 25/04/2013 00:51:30 »

Oh how I just love Boobies........


Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic)


Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>


Never mind a booby, I smell a rat!

« Last Edit: 25/04/2013 04:55:23 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2877 on: 25/04/2013 11:40:34 »

Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping,  eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!

Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/


Aye aye Capt. Demo, Eye had to laugh at this.

Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire. Maybe your ancestors were from Paris and had something to do with the eyefel tower.

I hope you are not offended by what I have suggested here, I should hate this post to be a flop, typical of some of my lesser posts.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2878 on: 25/04/2013 11:43:21 »
LOOK UP THERE!

A raptor hunting for food.

It must be a hawk, eye saw it first.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2879 on: 25/04/2013 11:47:09 »
I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gough, Rubens, Constable......

I said I would have to opt for Titian.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2880 on: 25/04/2013 11:50:13 »
I came across a man with sponge and custard in one eye and fruit and jelly in the other, he said he was treyeful blind.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2881 on: 25/04/2013 11:53:35 »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2882 on: 25/04/2013 11:57:22 »
I went into my local phone shop for a new flashy mobile.

"Do you have any stereo phones?" I asked

"No" Came the reply

Oh well, I suppose I shal just have to make a mono call then.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2883 on: 25/04/2013 11:59:53 »
There are so many channels on the TV these days, but there is a great deal of tele scope for improvement.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2884 on: 25/04/2013 12:10:48 »
After removing some wallpaper for redecorating, the wife said "That wall will need re-plastering." My reply was, "Why? eye patch it up and it will be OK".
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2885 on: 25/04/2013 12:41:09 »
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2886 on: 25/04/2013 12:47:13 »
I was to have a secret liason with my mistress, but had slipped and twisted my ankle.

There was only one thing for it, I would have hop to me tryst.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2887 on: 25/04/2013 12:57:03 »
Our local baker is noted for his subleyeme stolens.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2888 on: 25/04/2013 13:03:54 »
My neighbour found a half chewed bird in his garden, "How do I get the truth out of my cats as to which one is the culprit?" he asked. I came up with a torturous solution, "Cat, a rack would be the solution".
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2889 on: 25/04/2013 13:08:51 »
"I have a sure-fire way of knowing if an operation has been successful," said the surgeon, "after the op tickle the foot".
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2890 on: 26/04/2013 01:24:56 »
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:


« Last Edit: 26/04/2013 03:20:46 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2891 on: 26/04/2013 03:18:27 »
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2892 on: 26/04/2013 04:24:29 »

Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire.
Eye am not, and no, theye didn't.
« Last Edit: 26/04/2013 04:26:40 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2893 on: 26/04/2013 08:08:00 »
My neighbour asked "Was that you eye sore watering the garden in the rain yesterday?" My response was, "Eye, watering? No you must be mistaken."
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2894 on: 26/04/2013 08:11:08 »
When she was young, our daughter had a Cabbage Patch doll and a Tiny Tears doll, but it was Barbie that was her eyedol.
« Last Edit: 26/04/2013 08:21:13 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2895 on: 26/04/2013 08:15:04 »
Look, compacted snow on the road!
Eye see
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2896 on: 26/04/2013 08:18:04 »
I felt very nervous when I went for my first ever job interveiw. The boss eyed me up and down.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2897 on: 26/04/2013 08:30:36 »
We were having a spot of trouble with our TV reception, so the wife watched the picture as I adjusted the aerial.

"No, that's no good........ that's even worse......... try it the other way....... Oh yes, now that's clera....... just a fraction more that way......... Cor oid leave it at that, if I were you."
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2898 on: 26/04/2013 08:36:01 »
British Prime Minister, David Lloyd George, used to hate it when people greeted him with the words 'Hiya Lloyd.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2899 on: 26/04/2013 08:52:02 »
An alien looking around a clothing shop was puzzled by the garments.
"W-h-a-t  i-s  th-i-s?" he asked, the assistant said, "Its a shirt ET." "A-n-d  w-h-a-t  a-b-o-u-t  th-i-s?" "Its a sock ET."
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2899 on: 26/04/2013 08:52:02 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums