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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 957994 times)

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2975 on: 10/05/2013 07:33:39 »
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while.

I once had fish & chips every day for a year.

My stomach took a battering.


A fisherman hated but he didn't tell a sole.

« Last Edit: 11/05/2013 01:26:30 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2976 on: 10/05/2013 08:08:13 »
I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gogh, Rubens, Constable......

I said I would have to opt for Titian.

The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2977 on: 10/05/2013 19:35:52 »
ALL HE SAID WAS - AYE MATE
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2978 on: 10/05/2013 20:57:10 »
Yes, but how can AYE make sure????
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2979 on: 11/05/2013 00:42:11 »

A fisherman hated but he didn't tell a sole.


That's the thing about fishermen, they know their plaice.

I gave a loan shark a rather unwell cephalopod today. "What's this?" he enquired, I said "Its that six quid I owe you".

« Last Edit: 11/05/2013 01:25:08 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2980 on: 11/05/2013 12:13:36 »


THAT  loan shark? Mr. I. C. Usury! I worked with him too!
« Last Edit: 11/05/2013 23:47:17 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2981 on: 11/05/2013 12:51:25 »


Aye-aye

Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2982 on: 11/05/2013 19:47:19 »
 Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.

Aye, scotty, so 'tis -  the little LEMURIAN
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2983 on: 11/05/2013 22:25:09 »
Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.

Aye, scotty, so 'tis -  the little LEMURIAN

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2984 on: 12/05/2013 00:32:57 »
That land 'tis a strange place.

"You will find there a strange species of Lemur", Ian said.
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 00:36:45 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2985 on: 12/05/2013 00:41:32 »


Aye-aye

Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!

Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2986 on: 12/05/2013 01:14:57 »

[The Aye-Aye] looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!

Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.

Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 01:18:57 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2987 on: 12/05/2013 01:30:19 »

........ all in sects.


Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.

When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2988 on: 12/05/2013 01:56:52 »
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2989 on: 12/05/2013 11:00:00 »

........ all in sects.


Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.

When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2990 on: 12/05/2013 11:30:09 »
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????

First, he needs an authorized statement shown on his truck:

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2991 on: 12/05/2013 16:42:39 »
Today, May 12, 2013, is:
Mother's Day!

« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 17:15:36 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2992 on: 12/05/2013 17:13:31 »
He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 17:24:57 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2993 on: 12/05/2013 18:56:34 »
LAST ONE ABOVE ---

HUH - WHAT ?????????
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2994 on: 12/05/2013 18:57:51 »
PS 

use of this causes infertility    AND THUS NO MOTHERS FOR THIS PARTICULAR SUNDAY IN THE US: MOTHER'S DAY   Happy day, Muthas
« Last Edit: 12/05/2013 19:02:43 by JimBob »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2995 on: 12/05/2013 23:08:25 »

He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.

LAST ONE ABOVE ---

HUH - WHAT ?????????

Mother puns for Mother's Day.

 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2996 on: 13/05/2013 03:22:25 »
homemade pickle wanna-be's if set at room temperature develop a white substance similar in most respects to smegma. The white pickle jar substance is called mother if it is in the pickle jar. Just don't eat it. ==

The Darts side board: Pickels hard boiled eggs, beer or stout, salted nuts..

All this made possible by the action of the mother on the pickles.......

thanks MOM MUTHAH
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2997 on: 13/05/2013 03:29:05 »
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2998 on: 13/05/2013 07:36:12 »
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.

I wanted a career with a big hamburger chain but I got into a pickle when I couldn't cut the mustard.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2999 on: 13/05/2013 10:09:26 »
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????

I was taken hook, line & sinker by some tricksters. They sold me the freehold on the flats.
It was only later that I discovered it was a con, dominian over the properties was already held by the tenants.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #2999 on: 13/05/2013 10:09:26 »

 

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